Angel Dust
by KumagorouBeam
Summary: Tatsuha Uesugi dreams of the day he will finally be with Sakuma Ryuichi. With a raffle contest and a few twists, will his dream come true? Chapter 13 Up
1. Prolouge

**NOTICE: PLEASE READ**

       I am so sorry! I have had technical difficulties with the story, but I finally have the third chapter to cooperate with me. I wish for everyone to review again, and new people to review as well. It feels weird for doing all this work and not getting any appreciation or pat on the backs for getting it all back together. Anyways, on with the story.

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       The pulsation mixed throughout every center of the earth. At least it seemed to have been going that far. The vibrations and beats were so loud and smoothing it seemed as though your own body submerged in a heat of some kind, filling you with excitement and adrenaline. I guess that would explain the screams and out bursts of the millions of people that you could scan with one eye alone among the hundreds of masses spread across the huge land used for this event.

     Lights flashed and music would have its own moment where it would go into a relentando moment, just at the same exact moment the singing would slow but soon get back to a jumpy pace, causing people to scream for next for minutes until they took five or ten and went right back at it. The shimmering beams of oriented colors would go across all of the people and back to its rightful place. The lights were so bright that it could possibly blind someone. In that case, everyone was too busy having their attention to the stage to get their eyes flashed out.

The band was magnificent, enough to put any international or foreign pro on their knees in complete awe. They have inspired many amateurs, gained millions of adoring fans and have become one of the most well known musical bands of all time. They made many golden records, topped the best, and are still going in their glory. Strangely enough, even after the three-year break up they once had. The three members were perfectly consociated. It was beautiful.

The vocalist was the force behind it all, the one keeping everything alive. He was the one that made everything worthwhile about going to their concerts, buying their CDs and just being a fan. Sure, the music was great, the beat was nothing anyone could compare and the songs had lyrics that could amaze any poet. Nevertheless, the vocal sounds were extraordinary. Sakuma Ryuichi. That name alone is known worldwide for his greatness. His voice was so unique in its own profound greatness it even brought his listeners to tears. 

"Thank you very much," he would finally say, just as he does after each song ends. He would wear a large smile that sent fans gibbering in screams and squeals, "I appreciate you all coming out to watch and listen. I am very happy to have come here, just as you are. Thank you for your support and I hope you always will support us,"

 "**Nittle Grasper**."

ANGEL DUST

       I could feel the sun resurfacing and hitting my eyelids from the corner of my shades, I had closed in order to continue my slumber. I did not even feel like getting up at that exact moment so I tugged around to find an open piece of cloth, and threw it over my head, rolling to my side with a groan and tried to get back to my dreams. 

        "Tatsuha," I heard the voice of my father say to me as he came into my room, "Get up and put on your robes, I let you sleep in enough already." He coughed with the most nonchalance and turned to walk away, "I don't want you to turn out anything like your older brother."

My older brother, huh? I pulled the top of my cover down a bit to look around my room; it was filled with magazines, CDs and clothes. My walls were covered with Nittle Grasper poster and all of them centered around Sakuma Ryuichi, my God. I had dreamt of them at their latest concert I had attended to again. I usually always dream about it over fifty times or so until the next one comes. I guess I am pathetic in a weird way. 

             Even though, as much as my father despises even the name of my older brother, Eiri, I almost envy to be like him. He is everything I wish I could be. Out of the house and father's dumb ass rules, and doing what he wants as a job. He can do what he wants and not have disapproval and forced to quit by anyone except for maybe Shuichi. Moreover, even in that case, I wish I could be like him. 

         "Strange of me to think of shit like that," I grinned with self-confidence as I pulled my self out of bed, and grabbing a piece of paper that somehow found a way to crawl underneath my pillow, "Oro? What's this?" I began to think it was probably some stupid reminder father left for me but it was the usual,

_          "Tatsuha-kun,_

_I have no real need to wake you up right now, seeing as you are in a deep slumber. You are so cute that way. Back to the main subject, I just wanted to say thank you for the greatest night of my life last night. I never knew it was that enjoyable to do that. I hope we can meet up again soon and maybe get to know each other better by going out somewhere or something of the like. Give me a call sometime you know my number._

_ Love you!_

_                                                                                       From,_

_                                                                                             Miyu"_

            "Ugh," was the only thing I could think of as I crumbled the tiny sheet of yellow paper and tossed it over my shoulder, with no concern whatsoever how she felt if she never got a call from me. It is not as if I wanted any of those girls, just the sex. Hell, I do not even really think about them at all even when I am having sex with them. Eiri was the same way; keyword _was_. I do not know when he stopped being the player he used to be, but he just did. He got so sucked up with Shuichi that he rather forgot about those old days.

            Once again, I envy my older brother. He is missing out on some fun things, though I guess. However, I have never seen him happier. Shuichi has done so much for him in benefit. It is amazing that he could just settle down with someone that quickly. I could never do something like that, even if I do seem as if I can more than my brother does. I cannot bring myself to commitment. How does my brother do it?

I smirk as I put the last finishing of my monk attire on. Strange of me to think of something so deep.

        "Ah, Tatsuha!" My father gives me a warm greeting with pride. He looks at my as if I am a fallen angel that replaced his fallen, 'bad' son. He knows nothing of me or my life yet thinks he controls it. If he knew the real me, he would be so disappointed. Strangely enough, I kind of respect the old man.

"So what is the plan for today?" I ask him with my biggest, fake smile of enthusiasm and hoped he bought it. And he probably did, like every day.

"Praying." He informs in a tone that makes you cringe. He sounds like it is something to look forward toward. 

It is always the same schedule everyday. I never really object to it, maybe because I don't think much of it. I will do my duty as a monk and then spend the rest of my day in my room. I will go out every now and again to pick up women or just have a smoke or a drink, but I would rather just stay in my small capacity of my room and listen to Nittle Grasper. I am pathetic, I know. I would rather live my life as a fool, dreaming of something he shall never catch than be a bigger fool, facing the hard sunlight of reality. I will never change. Nothing will ever change how I am. I will always be the pathetic sixteen year old as I am now.

        I walk into the family room after my day of praying to sit on the couch and grab the remote. I turn on the television to hear a babbling.

"Welcome to the special edition of MUSICFAN!" the idiotic announcer said ecstatically, waving his arms up and down. "We have a big surprise for all of your Nittle Grasper fans out there tonight!" My attention was captured at the words of my favorite band. I listened attentively to what the announcer said, "We are to be announcing the winner of the raffle contest right here and right now!" 

What? Raffle contest? I had not even heard of a raffle contest dealing with Nittle Grasper. How did this slip my mind?

 "The winner is to win a dinner with Sakuma Ryuichi!"

My mind went blank and heat overcame me. How did I miss this opportunity? Where was I when this all happened? I knew at that moment that Sakuma Ryuichi, **my God, would have to be dining with some bimbo girl who talks nothing else but cheesecake. **

"And the winner is," I found myself praying that the name announced would be mine, but that was useless knowing the fact I did not even enter the contest. My life was ruined. "Shindou Shuichi!!"  
      My heart stopped and I was drowned in heat from my forehead. How could this happen? I could not even find words to say, but when I opened my mouth the only thing that escaped was,

        "What?"

AN: Wow, changes… changes. Short, shorter.

I am a manga fan if you did not know. I care nothing for the anime. Behold my Gravitation manga knowledge!! MUSICFAN inside joke for those who have read the manga. 

Manga lives!!

Har. Man, I bet everyone is wanting the third chapter. Review for this one and the second and than maybe I will post it. XD

I do not own Gravitation 


	2. The Prize

         Tatsuha grabbed his jacket that hung up near the door, quickly slid it over him, while his face stayed stern, and up heated with anger. MUSICFAN was still on the television, talking about how much of a wonderful surprise that Bad Lucks vocalist would be dining with Nittle Graspers vocalist. His main objective was to confront Shuichi about this. His mind was indeterminable but his body knew what to do and it was not a good result for Shuichi.

           He walked out of the house and to the small plaster of rocks where his motorcycle was parked, and took no time to straddle himself on the top of the bike. He injected the keys and started up the machine, letting it warm up with its monstrous, growling vibrations. He kicked down on the peddles and squeezed the handles to take off, ignoring the cool breeze that scattered him in the face.

          The wind felt good, actually. It took his mind off the eventuality events that would occur once he saw Shuichi. Kyoto was not very active and all the much quiet. As he went into the city life of Tokyo, he found himself bustled up in traffic of people. They were all walking to destinations such as work or some ones house, even shopping. Tatsuha stopped his bike as he waited for the hustling people to pass though he was eager to get where he needed to be.

        "Have you heard lately," a student whispered to a group of her friends just loud enough for Tatsuha to over-hear, though he was paying more attention to their skirts, "Nittle Grasper is having a huge tour coming up, and they say the most prominent and outstanding performance is going to be in Tokyo."

"Really? I thought they were done with their music," one of her friends replied with the smuggest expression, "Oh well, I am attending that concert and will be the first one to get tickets."

      Tatsuha was a little suspicious of the news she had just spoken of, unaware of this announcement. He knows all about Sakuma Ryuichis life yet did not hear about this. But then again, he did not know about the raffle contest either. He watched the group of students walk off until he came in attentiveness of the fact he could continue riding, and darted off before more traffic came.

                      The smoke from the motorcycle finally cleared as Tatsuha parked it, and headed for his brothers abode. He felt a bit of a stingy fear in his bones, knowing his brother more or less would not let him talk to Shuichi alone. Alternatively, it could be better, and his brother will not even find him welcome into his house. He reached the door with a gulp of anxiety, and without knowing, his fear and worry seemed to have slipped right out of his mind and he knocked on the door. To no avail, no answer so he knocked again with more force. 

      "God damn, hold on," it was Eiris voice, in his normal tone of voice and mood. He opened the door, letting his head lie on the side of the door, cigarette in his mouth and study glasses on. He looked at Tatsuha with the most uninterested expression, "What do you want?"

"Is Shuichi here," Tatsuha asked, trying not to show his nervous side, unknowing to what his brother might think of him trying to find his boyfriend. However, once he said the energetic teen's name, a swift of wind seemed to come his way, and a short, happy figure stood between the two brothers.

   "Tatsuha?" the boy asked, surprised to see him. He turned his head with a bit of confusion, but his smile never faded from his face, "What are you doing here?" and by the looks of Yukis face, he wondered the same thing.

Tatsuha tried to search for words, but could not think of anything to say because his brothers was standing right there, watching every movement of the both of them. He wanted to say something though. Say something to Shuichi about the contests, why he never told him of the event, and why he gets to dine with Sakuma Ryuichi while he just stays at home in Kyoto. He just looked at Shuichi with the utmost anger until he just let it out, "you bastard."

                        By his reaction, Shuichi was very lost in the whole conversation. His smile finally turned to a curl of confusion and he turned to look at Yuki with saddened eyes, which in fact, he seemed to be enjoying the conversation so far and seemed interested to see a fight between the two. Tatsuha did not care anymore if Yuki was there are not, to his eyes he could only see Shuichi. His head burned teeth clenched, and hands into a form of a perfect fist.  "You entered a Nittle Grasper contest, didn't you?" Tatsuha yelled at him, overcoming all worries of what may happen, "And you won, too. How could you have not told me about it? Now you are going to be having dinner with _my God! I swear, you will never be able to attend that dinner because I am going to kill you first, you little faggot! You will regret ever entering the contest I should have won!"_

   "I won?" was his only response as a spark went off in his eyes, "I really won?" he tugged at Yukis shirt in the utmost happiness, "Yuki, I won the contest to have dinner with Ryuichi!"

           Tatsuhas anger grew even more and the urge to punch Shuichi was threatening his senses. He seemed to not even notice how angry Tatsuha was about the whole situation.

            "Don't you see the guy all the time? I thought you knew him," Tatsuha gasped and looked up to see his brother looking down at Shuichi as he inhaled some of his cigarette. Tatsuha was surprised to hear his brother say just what he was thinking. He felt like thanking his brother more then anything but he probably just said that out of common sense. 

   "I know," Shuichis spirit seemed to fade and Tatsuha could see victory in the distance, "but it isn't every day that I get to have dinner with him!"

   "What?" Tatsuha shrieked, "You just don't get it do you? You know the guy, you are his damn friend! Somebody else should deserve that prize, somebody who doesn't even know him!"

"Which would exclude you, am I right?" Yuki directed, "It seems your argument is pretty pointless if you are trying to get that prize." 

                Tatsuha could not think of anything to say about that. He had taken him to the zoo and talked to him at a bar before, but that still does not compare to how much Shuichi knew him.

         "Maybe Tatsuha is right," Shuichi finally gave in, shocking both brothers, "someone less fortunate deserves the prize. Not people like Tatsuha and I who have already met him before. Maybe I was just being selfish."

Tatsuha felt a shiver down his spine at his words, "Wait..." he murmured, wanting to save his objective of just seeing Ryuichi for one night. His eyes wandered, searching for something to say.

            "So I guess you are right, Tatsuha." Shuichi smiles and turned to walk back into the house, "I'm going to call Thouma right now and tell him that they need to find a new winner!" he started to pick up speed until he felt a hand latch onto his arm, "Oro?"

There was Tatsuha, looking up at him with the biggest, helpful eyes that he could throw at him, "Could you… uhh, tell Tohma that I will take your place?"

"But," Shuichi cocked his head, "you said someone else should get the prize."

 "I know, I know," Tatsuha shook his head and gave the biggest, corkiest smile, "But wouldn't this be a lot easier on Thouma and everyone? I mean, if you think about it, finding a new winner would take a lot of different preparations and stress for them, right. It would be a lot easier to just have me go, letting them have less things to worry about."

Yuki gave a slight glance at his brother from the corner of his eyes, "Chasing ass?"

       "Shut up."

"Well," Shuichi rubbed the back of his head, puzzling the whole situation, "I guess that could work out."

Tatsuha smiles and gave Shuichi a small pat on his shoulder, "Of course it would."

            Shuichi gave a usual smile to Tatsuha, "I will call him tonight." And after that, Tatsuha knew heaven was on his way and all would be glorious. Nothing could go wrong now, and nothing would ruin his spirit!

            "Go home." Were the last words spoken and his brother's door slammed in his face, making the ground underneath his feet vibrate. Yet, he was still in a dream as he walked off to his bike, murmuring something about Sakuma Ryuichi and the date they would be having. 

         "Next week, next week… I can't wait until next week," Tatsuha purred as he drove off on his motorcycle, causing crashes all about without even noticing. At that moment, for once in his life, he was in true bliss.

                            "Okay, I understand that you can not make it. No, do not feel sorry. I know how it can be when you are busy with your band and everything. Yes, we will just take him instead, I suppose. Thank you for telling me before hand. All right, give a hello to Sakano for me. Good bye," and the blond haired man hung up the phone. Tohma sighed about the conversation over the phone he just had with Shuichi.

        Noriko looked at him with curious eyes, "What was that about?"

 "Shindou-san will not be making it," he said in the plainest voice, showing that he did not really mind much.

     "Huh?"  a voice off to the side spoke, almost inaudible. Ryuichi stood in the small room, the only thing blocking him from the others was some wall and large glass windows. He was holding onto a pair of large headphones and stood before a microphone, "What about Shuichi? He isn't coming for dinner?"

Tohma sighed, "Afraid not. But do not worry; we already have someone else in line to be at your company for dinner."

      "Yes, so get back to work Ryu-chan!" Noriko hissed, throwing a pencil at the glass window, which was good enough to scare the 31 year old and get him back to recording their new song. She smiled at the attentiveness he was giving today, "Do you think he minds?"

 "I'm actually surprised to see him not mind as much," Tohma smiled sweetly at Noriko, "I thought he would be angered to not see Shindou-san for a night."

Noriko giggled, throwing back her hair and watched the man sing to his full content, "Nothing dampers his spirit."

            The two watched as Ryuichi continued to sing, holding the headphone near his ear to hear the music of the song they were producing. The voice he reflected was nothing but perfect and this song would be perfect for the tour coming up. 

                      "I still don't see why you just go and buy a car for yourself," Noriko growled under her breath as she drove up to Ryuichis house and parked, waiting for him to get out.

 "It would be hard to travel overseas that way Noriko-chan," he pointed out to his friend, and hugged onto his pink rabbit stuffed toy, Kumagorou.

  Noriko grumbled and patted the man on his head, grabbed a small piece of his red headband, pulled it out and let go, making it snap onto his forehead, "Idiot. You can drive to the airport, drive to work and drive home. You can't rely on others for the rest of your life."

 "But it is fun being able to drive with a friend!" he grinned and bounced in his seat playfully. Ryuichi stooped his behavior and searched around the car, his attitude changing as he went into deeper thought, "Noriko-chan.."

   "Hmm?" 

He saw her anxious behavior of wanting him to go so she could get home. The question he wanted to ask had been bothering him for a while now and he could finally ask someone who may have a good answer, "Am I… just a prize?" He held on tightly to Kumagorou, scared of a negative answer as he looked at Noriko, who was looking at him with baffled eyes.

    "Ryu-chan," Noriko tried to reassure him in a sweet voice that came out much like a whisper. He most of really thought about the whole contest and noticed how he was being treated. Well, no one really asked him to do it in the first place. She was a little speechless of him to think so deeply about it and she couldn't really think of anything to say. She then smiled and grabbed Kumagorou out of his arms and hanged it in front of him.

            "Ah! Kumagorou!" Ryuichis eyes almost took the size of round plates as the bunny was suddenly taken away from him, "Give him back!" 

 "Why?" Noriko questioned him, smiling nonetheless, "Why do you want Kumagorou back so much?

Ryuichi crossed his arms as if he was ten years old and kept watch on Kumagorou, "Because he is mine."

"What?" Noriko gasped, "Is Kumagorou just some kind of prize to you? That would be awfully mean for you to say." She giggled when she saw his face; he looked like a fool that had just been accused of being a hypocrite.

"No," Ryuichi growled and stared up at Noriko, "he isn't a prize. Kumagorou is my friend."

           She smiled lovingly at him as they made progress and she played with a strand of hair from his bangs, "Exactly. He is not a prize but a _prized_ possession to you, something you adore and hold dearly." She put her arms on her legs and let her chin rest in her hands as she gawked at her friend, "That is your answer."

             "But I was talking about me," Ryuichi whined, still confused about himself, "not Kumagorou."

Noriko giggled in the cutest way possible, "But it is about you, as well. You are a prized possession, not a prize to many people. That is why so many people want to take the chance to be with you to even have dinner with you. Millions of people adore you, Ryu-chan. It is not about wanting to win you, but about wanting to be acknowledged by you. They just see the wonderful person that I know and want to get to know him."

             Ryuichi looked at Noriko with the most abundant, speechless look. He was so taken aback by her answer. He looked down at Kumagorou and smiled, then jumped at Noriko to give her a hug. "Thank you, Noriko-chan!"

"No problem, no problem." She patted him on the back, glad to see him back to normal. "No go on out, I need to go home to my daughter and husband." She smiled at Ryuichi to receive a smile back from him.

         Ryuichi stood at his door, waving as Noriko drove off after beeping at him. He reached in his pocket to take out his keys and unlocked the door to his home. He opened the wooden door and walked in the rather large house, which was neat and tidy. He turned on the lights and sighed as he walked into the family room. It was rather quiet in the large abode he lived in, and the ringing of silence nagged at him. He softly and firmly placed Kumagorou down on a soft cushion of the chair that sat near the entrance of the family room. He took of his coat and laid it down behind the chair, "Even so," he said in a much deeper, serious voice then usual as he stopped in front of a large mirror in the hall way. He looked up at the mirror to see his reflection; his eyes were cold and serious and his face was plain and intimidating. He glared at himself, with a stare that would kill a man in fear, "I am still just a prize."

AN:

KumagorouBeam: Man, sorry for the long delay for an update. I hate slumps. Not sure what to really think of this chapter. Ryuichi was not even supposed to show until the next chapter, but he squeezed his way into this one. Surprisingly he does not say 'na no da' as much as people thinks he does. I go by the manga and there was about only two or more times he said that. In the anime… that's a different story. Heh.

Whatever, hopefully by the next chapter Tatsuha will finally meet up with Ryuichi. I don't know. Anyone have a suggestion on what should happen next? Hmm.. I need to use my brain.

Please review!!


	3. Tatsuha's Dream

 "_I still have a longing for your memory.. Kizutsuku dake demo kokoro o tsutaetai yo_," It was like a rippled dream being put into place. The lyrics meant everything as the sweet voice sang them. The CD placed in the SONY walkman twirled and the music berated from the headphones. The young man lie on his bed, eyes closed and head hung back on his pillow. As long as he listened to Nittle Grasper, nothing else mattered to him. The whole world seemed to have gone black and the music was his only substance of life to cling off, and he was completely happy with it. "_Ima wa...hitori ni shinai de furi sosogu ame ni niware sou na... yume ashita mo kanaderu kara.."_

 Some object started to shake at his hip, causing Tatsuha to have a small jump in shock. He quickly paused the CD player to look down. His cell phone, of course. He remembered he has putted the phone on vibration mode, just in case someone would call him. It was a considerate thought at the time, but someone always is always calling him. His cell phone bill could probably beat others because of the various calls of women he gets in a day, and when they call during a 'Nittle Grasper hour' is when he is the most unpleased.

 He grabbed the small, portable phone and looked at the tiny screen plastered on it."Sis?" Tatsuha asked himself as he saw his sister's number on the caller id. He had not expected her to call him; she had been not calling him for a couple days now when she usually calls him every day. "What?" he asked with annoyance as he brought the phone to his ear after pushing the 'talk' button.

 "Tatsuha," his sister's voice came in with a stern, but caring tone. "Dad said he has been trying to call the house for the past nine minutes. Where are you? Are you at some girl's house?"

Tatsuha's father had left for the next few days on the account of a Buddhist seminar among members of his family, and left his son to watch over their house. 

"No, I am not at some girl's house. I was just listening to Nittle Grasper." Tatsuha said, looking down at the CD Player, which seemed to be begging for him to continue listening to it.

He heard his sister sigh, "You remember your contest prize?"

"Of course!" Tatsuha sprang up on his knees against the soft mattress of his bed, sending plastic covers from his Nittle Grasper CD cases tumbling to the ground. "I could never forget that I will be able to dine with Sakuma Ryuichi. He is my God!" The thought was then reminded to him that the exact even would be happening tomorrow night. He grinned as he looked up at his Nittle Grasper platinum poster. The band that meant everything to him, their music touched his heart, along with the man that took his heart. Sakuma Ryuichi glared down with those stone-cold eyes, and his sexy pose taunted Tatsuha. He would soon be dining with that very man, "Wow…"

"What are you talking about?" he heard his sister ask, probably due to the fact of his slip of the tongue.

Tatsuha shook his head and felt himself blush. Why was he acting so shy now? Was it because he would be seeing that very man that could make him blush tomorrow? "Uhh, it's nothing."

"All right." She said with pleasure. "Tohma told me that he will be picking you up tomorrow around six o' clock. Make sure to be ready before then." This was a stupid question, knowing Tatsuha would be ready by four o' clock. 

  Tatsuha smiled, hugging onto his CD player as if it was his own child, "Okay!" he purred and hanged up on his sister, "Ryuichi-sama…" he cooed as he leaned back on his bed, and continued to listen to his Nittle Grasper CD.

                  "Yuki," Shuichi chimed as he dashed across the wooden floor of his lover's house, almost slipping along the way because of his socks. He came to a walk as he got to his workroom and opened the door, "Yuki."

 Eiri Yuki sat at his usual spot; the desk to the far end of the room, typing at his laptop. A cigarette lay in the ashtray near the computer, smoke perfuming off it, "Yuki."

"Yuki, Yuki." He mimicked Shuichi in a witty, annoyed way. He had to hear that word at least fifty times or more a day. He ended his sentence on the keyboard and turned around in his seat to look at him. "What do you want?"

Shuichi took the time to sliver right up next to Yuki, rubbing against him arm in a play manner. "Hey Yuki, have you seen my lyrics anywhere? I seemed to misplace them and Sakano-san and K-san instructed me to have them done by Monday." 

 "How would I know where they are?" Yuki shrugged the boy off his arm, where he was practically attached. "Haven't you thought that maybe you losing your lyrics is for the better," he picked up his cigarette and inserted it into his mouth. "It would save a lot of brain damage for fans."

Shuichi just sighed at his remark. He and Yuki always quarrel about how bad his lyrics are. It did not really bother him anymore. Yuki always had an evil smirk whenever he said something about it, just asking for an argument. I guess that rather meant that he did not mean any harm by it, not trying to hurt Shuichi in any way. "It does not cause brain damage. How would you know?" 

"I get a migraine every time I read some of your lyrics, that's how."

Shuichi let out a long, hard whimper and hit Yuki on the arm, which seemed not to faze him. "I get a migraine by reading one sentence of your books!" And after that, he ran out of the room to search for his lyrics elsewhere.

"That is because they are too complicated for you." Yuki remarked to the air, and turned to continue working on his book for the deadline coming up.

Shuichi, on the other hand, was stuffing his face into the cushions of the couch, searching for his lost lyrics. "They got to be around the house somewhere," he told himself so he would not be doubtful. "I remember bringing them home." He sat up on the couch, pondering on just where he might have left them. "Maybe I left them in the kitchen." Shuichi thought and skipped into the kitchen. He started to look around the dining table, making sure not to leave anything unchecked. He stopped abruptly when he heard a faint knock at the door. "I'll get it!" he exclaimed so that Yuki could hear him, and stopped his searching for now and went to the door. He opened the door quickly and grew a large grin at the person who stood before him, "Sakuma-san!"

"Hi Shuichi!" The man exclaimed with utter happiness, throws his Kumagorou up in the air, and catches him. "I came to see you, just to make sure you are all right."

Shuichi scratched the back of his head, "If I am all right? What do you mean?" He looked towards him, but soon found out that he was gone from the door way and jumping on the couch.

"You are not coming tonight, right?" Ryuichi asked, jumping up and down with the pink bunny perfectly staying on his head. "I thought maybe you were sick or something, resulting in you could not go. I came here to visit you and see if you are okay." 

Shuichi shook his head. "No, I am fine."

Ryuichi jumped from the couch, and right in front of Shuichi, his hair hanging down infront of his face due to jumping. "Do you hate me Shu-chan?" 

Shuichi jumped at his ridiculous, yet unexpected question. "No! I don't hate you Sakuma-san," He rubbed his own arm, and smiled. "It's just Tatsuha suggested he goes instead of me."

"Tat-su-ha?" Ryuichi looked confused, breaking up his name in pronunciation. His eyes wandered around until their pupils grew for a second and a smile plastered his face. "Tatsuha-kun?" he asked promptly, remembering the monk who had once taken him to the zoo.

"Yeah," Shuichi giggled at his childish behavior. "I am kind of busy, anyways. Tatsuha insisted that he went in my place."

Ryuichi seemed a little confused by the whole situation. In one category, he felt that no one wanted to dine with him, so that person just made someone else go. On the other hand, he felt like people were begging to dine with him, resulting into fighting for him. Both results made Ryuichi feel a little awkward and used. He did not really want to show his disappointment or any conflict so he just smiled. "Okay."

"Oh yeah," Shuichi said, causing Ryuichi to jump a little. "I was looking for my lyrics. Would you like to help me look for them Sakuma-san?" he asked the man, trying to make him feel comfortable.

Ryuichi, jaunty as always, answered with a cute smile and a nod, "Of course! Kumagorou wants to help, too!"

 The two of them, or three if you include Kumagorou, started searching for the missing lyrics. "What are you doing?" Yuki stood at the end of the room.

"Searching for my lyrics." Shuichi said to his lover plainly, as he placed down a few magazines.

 The closet door hurled open and an assortment of books, clothes and cleaning objects fell out, along with Ryuichi. "Not in here!" he chirped and sprang to his feet, dusted off himself and Kumagorou and took off.

"What in the hell is he doing here for?" Yuki asked.

"He is helping me search." Shuichi said and continued to look for the lyrics himself. Yuki just glared at Shuichi and went back into his workroom, not wanting to look at the two idiots run around his house looking for something so petty. 

Ryuichi found himself in a room and pulled out a piece of paper from underneath a jacket. "What's this?" he asked Kumagorou and started to read the words on it. It was lyrics. Shuichi's lyrics. He took a seat right on the floor and started to look over them, reading the words and feelings present in them. Ryuichi let Kumagorou slip out of his grip and hit the ground next to him. His eyes scanned the paper until he came to the unfinished last sentence. His eyes shut as he finished reading and a small, curved smile appeared on his face. A slight chuckle escaped his soft, closed lips. "Worthless trash." 

"Sakuma-san," Shuichi walked over and looked into the room to see Ryuichi sitting down on the floor. Shuichi stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Sakuma-san?" Ryuichi heard his name being called, and got to his feet. He stood, his back to Shuichi, for at least a minute, and then turned his head to look at him. His eyes were stone cold, and his lips were in a demonic frown. He looked so serious and intimidating that Shuichi jumped from shock, "S-Sakuma-san?" he gulped in fright, not knowing what the singer may say to him. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes seemed to lighten and grow to an innocent, beautiful and childish style. It seemed as if all of his features became angelic and a smile spread across his face.

        He skipped right in front of Shuichi, held out the lyrics, and said in a deeper tone than usual, "Here are your lyrics." He quickly ran back, grabbed Kumagorou, and ran past Shuichi. He hummed in his normal tone, almost seeming to be completely back to normal. He chortled quickly and opened the door, "Bye, Shu-chan! I am going home to get ready!" The sound of the door shut ringed in Shuichi's ears and he looked puzzled as he looked at the lyrics Ryuichi had handed him. Was the way he was acting telling him something about his lyrics? Why did he have to act like that?

 "Ryuichi," Tohma stood at his bathroom door, attempted to knock the door down. "Hurry up. What could you possibly be doing in there?"

"I am looking for something," came Ryuichi's voice as he screamed aloud, and a large crash was soon afterwards.

Tohma was a little suspicious of the crash and started to turn the knob back and forth. "Looking for what? Come on, Ryuichi. You have to be leaving in at least thirty minutes." Tohma tried to wait patiently for the younger man to come running out smiling, and with an excuse and apology for taking so long, but it was still silent. "Ryuichi!"

"Sorry, sorry." He said and opened the door, looking down to the floor. Kumagorou was stuffed in his shirt, his head poking out from his shirt collar. Tohma finally saw what was wrong, and what he was looking for. Ryuichi was not wearing his headband, and his bangs were hanging a little bit over his eyes. Instead, in his hand was a small hair tie that he was probably going to use.

 "Do you know where I last put my red headband?" Ryuichi asked, playing with Kumagorou's bow in one hand while putting in his earrings with the other. Tohma smiled, and shook his head. Ryuichi was always worrying about the smallest things and then whining about them, just like a giant kid. That was his appeal, though. 

"That's okay," Ryuichi gave an uplifting grin, "I was planning to put my hair up anyway." The black hair tie seemed to fight its way onto the messy hair bestowed on the vocalists' head, but soon was put into place. Ryuichi flashed a victory sign to Tohma, exposing a little bit of one of his canines from his grinning mouth. 

Tohma held out Ryuichi's coat, "Enough cute time. Let's go Ryuichi."

            "Just get over it Tatsuha-kun." a beautiful, longhaired girl instructed, "Isn't it about time you gave up on your obsession?"

Tatsuha tried to ignore everything she just said, but had to say something after he combed his hair. "What about you? You like Sakuma Ryuichi too, Miyu."

Miyu, the girl who had left a note for Tatsuha that one morning when he first found out Shuichi won the contest, had come to visit him again. "Yeah, but I am not obsessed with him like you. Sakuma-sama is an idol to me; I have always wanted to be a top-singer like him!" Miyu hugged the wall where a poster of Ryuichi was hung on Tatsuha's wall. Tatsuha just looked at her with a plain look, as if she reminded him of someone, 

"What?" she bellowed, "I would give anything to meet Sakuma-sama. Take me with you!" At that request, she pounced at Tatsuha, and clung to his arm.

"If I could bring anyone in the world Miyu," he smirked, "it would not be you."

Miyu glanced at his devilish smirk and knew he was just trying to get a rankle out of her. "You are so mean, Tatsuha-kun. I love you anyway, though!" Tatsuha said nothing to her proclamation, avoiding anything of the sort. 

He turned to her, "I am just going to let you away with saying that because we are cousins." It was strange that he had actually slept with her at least six times now, knowing the fact they were cousins. They were not bothered by it, probably because they were distant cousins only by marriage. In that sense, they were not even related; by blood anyway.

"I love you." Miyu repeated, trying to make it clear to him how she really felt about it. She took that opportunity to crawl off his bed in a cryptic way, curve her arms around Tatsuha's waist and rub his stomach, traveling up to his chest and down again.   Tatsuha did not do anything about the movement; he seemed to acknowledge it in an interested way of watching her hands seductively rub his front. Miyu traveled the middle of her palms lower to his thighs while she started to lightly kiss the back of his neck, all standing on her Tipp toes. Tatsuha started to feel heat surrounding him, and the urge to take her at that very moment. He was sure her eyes must have been fading from the need as well, "Forget about that contest prize." Miyu murmured in pants between kisses in ecstasy, "Stay here with me, Tatsuha-kun."

Tatsuha froze for a moment, and realized what time it was. He still had to catch a train to Tokyo, and he was fooling around with some girl that meant nothing to him but a good night every once and awhile. He stopped her caressing hands and pushed her gently away, "No. I have to go." He said firmly, "You know how much this means to me."

Miyu looked at Tatsuha in stun, and fell down on her bottom upon Tatsuha's mattress. She seemed to have a look that of a puppy that was neglected with food, but soon sympathized. "I'm sorry Tatsuha-kun. I was getting a little weird for a moment," she looked up with a smile, "have fun and make sure to get an autograph from Sakuma-san for me, okay?" Tatsuha almost felt sorry for being so stern to her and could only sweetly grin at her, knowing she understands him. She was a big fan of Ryuichi. He was her only idol. She wanted Tatsuha to meet him, probably to get an autograph out of it. Either way, she was excited as he was. He nodded at her request and left the house to his awaited heaven.

   "Where could he be?" Tohma glanced at his wristwatch, tapping his foot unknowingly. The restaurant was right behind him. He glanced over to see Ryuichi standing at the edge of the sidewalk, throwing his stuffed bunny around and catching him. They had been waiting for Tatsuha for almost half an hour by now, and he still had not shown. People had already started to gather around Ryuichi, ask him for a picture or autograph and then leave. 

Ryuichi squealed under his breath as he hopped next to Tohma. The two of them stood there, not saying a word to each other for about five minutes, watching cars go by. Ryuichi took the moment to open his mouth. "Maybe he is sick."

"Tatsuha... sick?" Tohma queried with a slight, baffled smile. "Tatsuha would make it here even if he was hospitalized from pneumonia."

Ryuichi patted Tohma with Kumagorou, who was being his hand for the moment. "You never know, Tohma! Shuichi decided not to come." He used the scenario of Shuichi ditching out to make his point across to Tohma.

"I am so sorry!" Tatsuha hollered from a short distance as he jumped down the small steps of a bus. He had taken the easiest, and fastest route-bus to get here but was still a few minutes late. He skidded across the hard pavement, his heart beating faster as Ryuichi came more, and more into view. His completely happy-go-lucky mode quickly averted to a shock and fright once he saw Tohma. He looked so angry and disappointed, and Tatsuha knew what that meant. His brother-in-law was upset of his tardiness and was sure to saw a few things to him, but he walked up as if nothing was wrong. "I am here."

   "Yes," Tohma cleared his throat and showed Tatsuha his wristwatch. "Thirty minutes late. I am glad you even showed up."

"Of course I did!" Tatsuha reflected back at him. "I would not miss this night for the world."

"Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi acknowledged. "It is nice seeing you here." 

He seemed to have gone into a state of shock and his face froze with an agape mouth. Tohma shook his head at his behavior, while Ryuichi just stood puzzled with a smile. The only thing Tatsuha could seem to see was the distance between himself and Sakuma Ryuichi. He was so close to him, his face practically up next to his. "Um," he finally managed to mutter. "You did not know I was going to be here?" 

"No, I did." Ryuichi chuckled. He put a piece of his hair behind his ear and got off his tiptoes, which he had to be on to get semi face-to-face with Tatsuha.

Tatsuha smiled meekly at him, waiting for the reason he said it was nice seeing him there. He got no answer from the shorter man so decided to start a new conversation. "Are you ready to eat?"

"Yeah." He replied in a jaunty way, excited in each second of the talk. "Tohma, you can pick us up in about an hour."

Tohma seemed to seem neutral about taking orders from the vocalist. He felt himself above Ryuichi, but he obviously was not in many ways due to the band. He just waved his hand, gesturing for them to go on ahead and he went to his car.

 "Let's go." Ryuichi chirped after a moment of silence between the two. He went and pushed open the large, glass doors of the restaurant. 

A wholesome, courteous waiter greeted them and promptly sat them to their table after seeing Sakuma Ryuichi greeted them. He did seem to have a problem with their absence of the last forty-minutes but took no heed; he probably wanted the money, anyway. He gave them their menus and told them he would soon be back.

 Tatsuha sat at his chair that was right across the table from Ryuichi. He seemed not to know what to say, even less try to talk. He had been with Ryuichi before. He had taken him to the zoo, drove him on his motorcycle and even pretended to be sick to get his attention. Why was he freaking out now? He watched Ryuichi search through the menu, and just by watching him, he felt angelic. Ryuichi seemed so at peace, but even though his face was childish, he was hard to read. What he was thinking at this very moment was oblivious to him.

"So," Tatsuha found the courage to try to start a conversation. Ryuichi looked at him over his menu with wondering eyes. "I hear you are having a concert coming up."

A glint in his eyes told Tatsuha he picked the right subject to talk about. "Yeah, we are already getting ready for it and everything." He somehow seemed to grab his napkin and toss it on top of his head. "I am really excited about the whole thing, especially the one in Tokyo!" he chortled aloud, gathering looks from everyone in the room.

Tatsuha let out a small chuckle when Ryuichi almost fell backwards out of his chair, but swung his arms like a helicopter to catch his balance again. He let out a small heaving sigh and looked at the menu again. "I am sorry that Shuichi could not come tonight." 

 After Tatsuha saw Ryuichi's surprised expression of Shuichi's name, he knew he should have never said anything. After all, Ryuichi does care a lot about Shuichi and would rather have been with him. "No."

"What?" 

Ryuichi took the napkin off his head and placed it on the table. Many times had his voice gone to a sober, intimidating tone and back to a jaunty, childish one. However, it was strange to have heard a minimum of both tones at once. It was right in the middle of both of them, both serious and trusting. "It's okay. I can see Shuichi anytime I want. We both work at N-G Studious and even I get sick of seeing him all the time."

Tatsuha was baffled by his speech. Ryuichi gets tired of seeing Shuichi? He usually always enjoys it when Shuichi is around. Then again, everyone seems to get tired of him once and awhile. "I see. I bet you feel the same way about me." A doubtful smile crawled upon his face.

"No." Ryuichi answered again. "I hardly ever see you. I do not enjoy the fact of having a friend yet never see them. Something like that is so incomplete, and when I have something unresolved, I too feel incomplete." He pulled his chair up a bit and smiled. "Anyways, I enjoy your company Tatsuha-kun."

 The boy felt a big weight from his shoulder suddenly fall off, "Thanks. I enjoy being with you too, Sakuma-san."

          After so many minutes, the waiter soon came back to break up their conversation and order them something to drink: Tatsuha had Coke, seeing as he could not order a beer here. Ryuichi just asked for water.

"That is it?" Tatsuha looked at Ryuichi. "You are just going to have water?"

 Ryuichi nodded solemnly, knowing what he was doing. "I love water. It is my favorite drink."

"I bet so." Tatsuha mentioned, getting a little excited about the whole thing. He was actually talking to Sakuma Ryuichi! "My favorite drink would be water too if I had to go on stage for hours."

The man smirked. He listened to Tatsuha go on about how much her admired him and the wonders of Nittle Grasper, even when they got their food. He soon found Tatsuha's speech to be tiring and interrupted him during his talk. "What about you?"

 "What about me?" Tatsuha questioned his fists still mid-way in the air from his exciting banter about Nittle Grasper. He could tell he was getting sick of hearing just about himself. He looked down towards his shoes, an uninterested look in his eyes. "What is there to know about me?"

Clearly, Tatsuha was not as famous as Nittle Grasper, or Ryuichi. Nevertheless, that did not mean Ryuichi did not want to know something about him. He already knew about himself, yet wished to know more about Tatsuha. "You are a monk, right? Where do you live?"

"Kyoto." Tatsuha chocked on those words. He did not really enjoy living in Kyoto, and would much rather living in a large, active city like Tokyo. It was more of his style. 

 "I've only been there once," He was somehow interested in the fact. "It is so quiet and peaceful. I remember only so little of my trip there with Tohma and Noriko. I can still see the view of the beautiful scenery of trees and the tops of the buildings of Tokyo far-off." 

Tatsuha was amazed at how Ryuichi saw Kyoto. He never thought much of the small place; it had shrines everywhere and small Buddha statues around every corner of sidewalks. He never really sat down and engorged the beauty as Ryuichi saw. "Yeah, it is okay." 

"Being a monk must be fun!" Ryuichi glandered, acting as if Tatsuha was the famous one. 

 Tatsuha took a sip of his drink, "Sort of. It is just my dad I have a problem with."

"Your dad?" he gave a look at Tatsuha that showed worry. "Does he beat you or something?"

Tatsuha almost spit at that question. "He would never beat me. It is just… he sees me as something that I am not. He thinks I am so damn perfect." 

"Isn't that a good thing?" Ryuichi asked him, getting a surprised look from the boy. "I would want my father to think highly of me instead of beating me, or discouraging me. Your father seems like a perfect father."

Tatsuha mused at that. It was true, in an odd way. He had no perfect conclusion on why he disliked his father as he said he did. Maybe his father did see him as the 'perfect son', but would really want to be called the 'disgraceful sum' like he trolled on Eiri? Maybe his only reasoning of hating his father was because his big brother hated him. Eiri has always developed him with a new habit, a new way of looking at life. That is what elder brothers do to their younger siblings; especially brothers. Tatsuha just never took the time to think of it that way. His father had put a roof over his head, occupied him with duties to make him a responsible man and make him go to school to learn. Even though many efforts he tried to gain to Tatsuha failed, he never gave up hope on his last child. Tatsuha just seemed to take it for granted. He smiled without knowing.

"He is a perfect father."

 "The food was not exactly what I had expected." Tatsuha groaned as he leaned against the outer building. They had finished up quickly and stood outside waiting for Tohma.

"It was okay," Ryuichi admitted, not wanting to be rude. "I actually enjoyed it."

Tatsuha felt the urge to accuse him of a liar. "Yeah, you really were not that hungry to eat a quarter of your food. You said you were really hungry when we came."

 "I changed my mind." Ryuichi snapped back cutely and leaned against the building next to him. "I am not that big of a dinner person."

Tatsuha sneered at the man and pointed out his scrawniness, "You should be. If you don't become a 'dinner person' soon, you will be able to fall through cracks in the floor." 

"That is so cruel Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi bellowed, tugging at his own collar of his shirt. "I can't help that my figure is not perfect!"

He soon felt the urge to apologize and went into panic. "No, you have a great figure! Your lean body is a great thing. I don't think Nittle Grasper would have many fan girls if there was a potbellied husband with a beard singing up there."

"You're weird." Ryuichi accused of the boy before him. To say that, it was a big thing to Tatsuha.  

However, as long as Ryuichi calmed down and was not on the verge of tears, everything was okay. "It was a nice night talking to you. You are very great guy Tatsuha-kun."

Tatsuha just watched Ryuichi start to hum to himself, waiting for Tohma to arrive. Moreover, for Tatsuha, the longer the better. Sakuma Ryuichi looked so beautiful in the moonlight that reflected right off the windows and glimmered from his brown, shaggy hair that had bleached parts to make it look so majestic. His bangs would band against his forehead, almost allowing a breeze of his scent to pass by enough for Tatsuha to smell. In addition, if his eyes were not beautiful enough, they almost seemed to bear diamonds deep within them. Anyone could almost be hypnotized by their beauty. His body swayed in perfect rhythm of his humming and added more of a charisma to his handsome self. Strangely enough, no one has been able to capture the beauty that was so in reach. Was it because he did not seek it? He did not want it? On the other hand, was he afraid? As Ryuichi turned to look at Tatsuha with the all-knowing and magnificent smile, Tatsuha found himself afraid too.

 Ryuichi started to study his face and noticed the long, hard gaze Tatsuha was giving him. It made him jump just for a moment and then soon try to see what was on his mind. "Tatsuha-kun? What is wrong?"

  And that was all Tatsuha remembered Ryuichi saying to him before diving into his own heat, get captured by his emotions and not even take control of his own actions. He felt himself grab a hold of Ryuichi's arm and without noticing his shock of surprised, pulled him close to him and gander at him with lust-filled eyes. He thought he saw Ryuichi say something, but could not make it out. His lips moved but his words he spoke of were inaudible to Tatsuha now. He just saw him with a scared, lost expression before he held in his breath,

   Then kissed him.

********************

KumagorouBeam: Ohm man, was this a pain to write! It took me forever to finish. The ending was good, huh? The next chapter may be a little boring but hopefully chapter 4 will be much more exciting. Oh yeah, Miyu! I just had the urge to put her in the fanfic again. You remember her, right? The girl who left a note for Tatsuha in the first chapter? She will probably return in the next chapter, too.

  Tatsuha and Ryuichi advanced to a kiss… well, Tatsuha did. Find out what happens next by reviewing!


	4. Only to see Him

This seems to be a more Tatsuha focused story than anything else, ne? Every time I write a chapter, Tatsuha always wants to be the center of attention, jumping up and down, waving his arms inside my mind, making me only think of things for him to do in the story.

 Are all Tatsuha fans like that? Where are the Tatsuha fans, anyway? Lend me a shout-out, homies! 

 Just to let you know, there is a new character that I have added to the story that will be playing a big part. This character just keeps jumping back in my mind. Anybody know who that character is? Get it right and I will give you an invisible cookie! =D

**Gravitation **© Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 4**

         Tatsuha walked down the busy streets of Tokyo, ignoring the loud noises of the bustling city. He was too broken to think about anything else. What had happened at the restaurant changed everything, what he had done made everything worse. Why did he do it? Was he that much of a fool? He could not take back what he had done, but would if he had gotten the chance. His life was over.

        _"What were you thinking?" Tohma queried his brother-in-law in a tone of voice that was lethal and spine chilling. He had seen everything that had happened between the two, and had already put Ryuichi in the vacancy of his car. "You actually put a move on Ryuichi-san? This is disagreeable Tatsuha. You cannot just be doing things in public, even more to him. Don't you understand that what you have done could be assault to him? He obviously was not too happy about it." He held out a ticket to Tatsuha, fanning them for him to take. "This is a ticket back to Kyoto. Go home, Tatsuha. I advise you to keep your distance from Sakuma Ryuichi from now on."_

 Although what Tohma said to him about staying away from Ryuichi was remarkable, it was a stupid thing to say. Tatsuha never even saw him like a casual friend would. He had only been with Ryuichi a few times before, and at the zoo together, which was the only time they were alone for once. Even so, what he said hurt him. He would never see him personally again, yet felt like he had for years.

Tatsuha wanted to beat himself up for what he did. He has done many stupid things in his life, but this actually meant something to him. Once he saw the look of confusion and ill will in Ryuichi's eyes after he pushed him away from the kiss, he broke like glass. At that moment, he knew what he had done wrong. He regretted it. He always wanted so much to be close to Ryuichi, to touch him or even have conversation with him. It was his one dream. However, once he had kissed the man, the man he lingered for and saw the look on his face; he wished he never thought those thoughts of him before. It was one of those things that made you wish you never felt that way before. Something that made you wish you were dead. "Damn it Tatsuha."

       He arrived home late because of the slow bus travel. He never really understood why the bus was so much slower than what it was in the morning. Maybe it only seemed slower because of his bad mood, or the fact he was going back to his home in Kyoto where his father awaited. He walked into the wooden house, hoping his father was in bed by now. 

"So," a sweet, feminine voice that flowed like pouring sugar rang into Tatsuha's ears, "how did it go?"

Tatsuha was surprised, well, not _too_ surprised to see Miyu standing there, looking at him with glimmering eyes. She must have stayed after he had left to welcome him back and get an autograph that he had not received for her. Miyu made a growling snort in her throat when she noticed Tatsuha ignoring her completely, walking past her and sitting himself on the couch. He just laid his head back, eyes closed. 

 "Tatsuha-kun," she cooed, dashing across the floor and flopping herself right next to him on a cushion, sitting on her knees. "How was it? Did you get there late or something? Is it about my autograph, if it is I do not care if you did not get it. You don't need to be upset about that, I can live without it."

Tatsuha found out that there was no end to this hell, which bestowed him once he walked in the door. He only groaned, hoping she would get the picture and leave him alone. Of course, it did not work and only made her carry on more about 'if he was okay' and 'what happened'.

"Tatsuha-kun!" she tugged at his shirt and jumped once he sprang to his feet. He pulled something from his jacket pocket and tossed it at her, it fell right onto her lap. She looked down to see a shining cover of a CD case. "Oh my god, Tatsuha-kun," with a quick swipe of her hands, she grabbed the CD case and hugged it senseless. "Thank you so much! I can't believe you bought me the newest Nittle Grasper CD: Special Edition." Her lips planted onto the cover of her new precious item, "and it was just released today!"

 Tatsuha took off his jacket, and threw it to the ground. The CD he bought for Miyu was actually for himself that he had bought along his way home to repair broken pieces of the previous events. However, in a way, he also seemed too broken to listen to the man's voice that gave him such a gimlet-eyed look. He took the time to walk into his room while Miyu was covering her new CD in her saliva and shut the door loud enough for her to know he was gone. She looked up with a shattering glance of worry, "Tatsuha-kun?" 

His father walked over to Miyu and patted her on the shoulder, "He must of have a bad day, huh?"

"I wanted to try and make him feel better." Miyu looked down at the Nittle Grasper CD he had given her and felt ashamed for paying so much attention to it and not Tatsuha, "I am such an idiot."

The elder man chucked at her abuse of not knowing her own unselfishness, "No you are not. Tatsuha just needs time to calm his spirit. He will be back to normal in no time."

Tatsuha sat in his room, his back against his door. His head hanged low as he listened to every word they said. "Back to normal in no time, huh?" he asked himself as he looked at his shaking hand. He was still shaking from the fright of that one mistake he made with his God. He could still taste the sweetness of his lips on his own and wish that taste would dissolve. The one taste he dreamt of, he wanted it gone. How could someone so pitiful go back to normal in no time at all?

"It's okay," Ryuichi patted Tohma on the shoulder after comforting him once more. He had already dropped him off at his house, but would not stop apologizing for what Tatsuha had done to him earlier that evening.

Tohma just put his hand to his forehead with a low sigh, "I knew Tatsuha would have done something sooner or later. I was a little cautious about taking him instead of Shuichi."

"Don't worry about it." Ryuichi grinned, motioning for him to leave now. He was ready to go to bed by now and knew he would have to be ready for work tomorrow, "I am over it. It was just a small kiss, no big thing."

Tohma was shocked for Ryuichi not to think of it as a 'no big thing'. He knew very well that Ryuichi hated being invaded when it comes to personal matters. "So you don't care what he did?" he asked in a confused, calm voice.

"I did!" Ryuichi blurted out, his attitude changing completely. "I was a little surprised at what he had done to me. I have never really let a fan get away with something like that, you know, kiss me before. It made me feel like punching him or something."

"That wouldn't have been too intelligent." Tohma chortled at the thought, but kept a straight face. "**You** would have been in trouble."

Ryuichi leaned against his door, looking back and forth from inside and outside. "Yeah, I do not know what I was thinking throughout that whole thing. Pretty stupid, huh?"

Tohma just gave him a loving smile, gave him a proper bid goodbye, and returned to his car to leave. Ryuichi shut the door promptly, walked over to grab his pink bunny in his arms safely, and took out his hair-tie, letting the back of his hair to hang. He stared into the black, beady eyes of Kumagorou, almost seeking an answer from him to all his problems. He received nothing but a small fall of the toy's head. He let out a measly grin and put Kumagorou to his shoulder, giving him a nice hug. 

"You won't believe what happened to me today, Kumagorou." 

Morning seemed to quickly come, and dew from leaves gently dripped upon the hard, cement sidewalks. A sudden jolt of surprise sprang Ryuichi awake from his sleep. His phone was going off this early in the morning. 

"Hello?" he choked out in his voice, his tiredness was evidence in his voice. He was happy to hear the voice of his female band mate.

"_Ryu-chan, how are you feeling today?_"

He could tell the concern her voice and knew Tohma must have told her about last night. As much as he enjoyed everyone worrying, it bothered him for everyone to make such a big deal out of it. "I am feeling fine." Nevertheless, just in case, he wanted to make sure that is what she was worried about, "Why?"

"_Nothing much really._" There was a small pause and she let out an exhale before continuing. "_Tohma told me about what happened. Are you okay?_"

Ryuichi tugged at his own bangs from frustration and he clenched his teeth, "Yes, I am fine. Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it?"

"_Well, it is a big deal Ryu-chan. Who knows what he may have done to you if Tohma had not arrived!_"

"What he would have done?" Ryuichi grasper his pillow and slammed it down on the mattress as if a three-year-old would. "I doubt he would have done anything. Anyways, I know how to take care of myself if he did do anything!"

Noriko was a little taken back by his sudden shouting, knowing he was probably grumpy from just waking up, "_Ryu-chan, calm down._"

"I would if everyone just dropped the damn thing."

"_You know,_" he could just picture her, standing there with her hand on her hip and the other holding the phone to her ear, "_I think that kiss of Tatsuha's did some damage to your brain. Get some sleep, Ryuichi. We aren't having rehearsal today so that should give you enough time to catch up on it._"

Ryuichi put the phone back on it's charger with an angry motion. He sat down, thinking of himself. Maybe that kiss really did give him an attitude change. He did not feel the same and was becoming jumpy at everyone, almost biting their heads off whenever they mentioned it. 

     Lyrics were at a loss to him. He had been sitting at the small desk, tapping the pencil on the blank sheet of paper after he took the time to get out of bed. His position was in the right place, but his mind was somewhere else. Their concert in Tokyo was coming up very soon and nothing was coming to him. Had the boy really changed his life for the worse?

  Tatsuha could not sleep, in which he had not even slept at all the night before. He lay in his bed for hours, thinking of the man who probably hated even his own presence for what he had done to him. Because of that event, Tatsuha just seemed so stoical to everything now.  

"Ryuichi," Tatsuha would say to the poster of that very man on his wall. "I'm sorry. I never take control of my damn, stupid actions." His agape mouth let out a heavy wave of breath, but was soon startled to hear a voice emit from inside his own room.

"It's okay." Miyu pranced over to the horizontal lying boy and gave him quick kiss on the check that he quickly brushed off. She had only walked into his room the moment he started to say he was sorry and must have interpreted that he was talking about her, "I understand you were in a bad mood earlier, so I forgive you, honey."

"I have told you more than once to not call me that, Miyu." She had always called him that in the most kittens of voices and he had scolded her for it more than ten times by now. "I was not talking about you, either."

Miyu, who seemed to have infiltrated herself into his room without being seen, reviewed him. She gave a small quirk in his lips, thinking he was just too shy to admit he was apologizing to her. "Thank you for the CD," the subject changed quickly, "I already listened to it by myself. The songs are amazing and so forthright in emotion. I thought I was going to cry while squealing like pig at the same time." Miyu brought her palm to her hand, covering her small giggles. She pulled out the CD case from the small purse she was carrying at her waist and let Tatsuha estimate it's beauty, "I thought you would like to borrow it. You did miss out on the evening with Sakuma Ryuichi himself, so I thought this might make you feel better to at least listen to him sing."

The cover of that case was almost taunting him, waving in front of his eyes like a dream. Nittle Grasper. Many times he had heard that band play, but never had he not desired to listen to one song every day. However, today he had no real feeling to play a song, even in his memory. He just looked at the picture inside the plastic case.

 The whole case was a black scène; platinum to make is shine in the perfect lighting. '_Nittle Grasper_' was smack on the top of the picture in big, white text. Three people stood in the middle of the case, being the main objective to look at. Seguchi Tohma stood to the far left, his side facing everyone and his head turned to the front with a smirk that seemed so menial, yet powerful. Ukai Noriko was to the far right, standing in the same position as Tohma. She wore a smile that was exotic that anyone would fall for it. Her hair was up in two curled pigtails, her famous hairstyle for concerts and events. 

Sakuma Ryuichi. The man who stood right in the middle to gather the most attention of the three. He stood facing forward, his posture so fervent in itself. A small black, tight shirt clung to his body and showed off his chest and abs features. His head lay downward, and eyes scanning the floor in an almost demonic way. His band hung over his face, covering most of his features except for a little bit of a small smirk, and his eyes. Those eyes seemed to capture some sense in your body that would just send chills down your whole spine, sending you down to the ground in pure enchantment and fear. Tatsuha knew that feeling, he had wanted to fall to the ground from that very look Ryuichi had given him, except his eyes were a lot more confused and contained more enmity than of the 'Nittle Grasper' Ryuichi. Tatsuha just stared at those eyes, wanting to just be absorbed in them and forget everything.

"I…" his voice started to brake up and salty tears started to build up in his eyes. He feared to start crying in front of someone, but he could not hold it in forever. The salty tears started to drip from his eyes and roll down his cheek, falling to the floor, staining the carpet. 

"Tatsuha-kun," Miyu gasped at his sudden emotions, "What is wrong?"

The Nittle Grasper CD shook in his hands and a few tears fell to the case, rushing down the plastic and leaving a trail of warm wet residue. Tatsuha watched as his tears passed over the picture of Ryuichi, "I need to see him."

"Who?" the beauty asked him, resisting her urge to sprinkle off those tears falling from his face but refused, knowing he would just shake her off.

Tatsuha said nothing, only held up the CD case he had given her the night before and planted his index finer right on the man in the middle. He was afraid to even try to talk, thinking his pain would be more evident in his already scratchy voice. 

"Sakuma Ryuichi?" Miyu picked up her CD case to rub the trails of tears, spreading it even worse along the way. Her eyes turned to Tatsuha- merciless taunting in them. "I knew you were a huge fan Tatsuha-kun, but I did not know you were going to cry over something like this. You can always go to the concert instead of being down about missing your opportunity last night. Better than nothing."

 Concert? Tatsuha saw the light of the unflagging darkness within his heart and his tears stopped, keeping him quiet. He looked up at his cousin, giving her a look of true salute and appreciation. Why had he not thought of that before? He seemed to have forgotten those prancing students talking about something of a concert Nittle Grasper was going to hold in Tokyo. That would be his only chance, maybe last chance to see Ryuichi and tell him he is sorry for what he had done, even if he did not accept the apology.

   "I still do not understand why you want to come in work today," Tohma puzzled to Ryuichi, trying to find the right key to unlock the door to the building where they were to hold their concert. He rummaged through each key and smiles of success when he found the right one, unlocking the door and opened it. What waited for them on the inside was amazing: an enormous room, resembling the size of a ballroom. Millions of chairs that resembled ones of a theater were rowed in the room, with aisles after every three rows. The stage was also a large size, enough room to walk around freely without running into something like most of the stages they had been on. Millions of small lights hung on the ceiling that curved up and down like waves, adding charisma to the entire room. They were probably shading lights, perfect for a concert. Where the stage lights would be located were on a tall balcony located at the very back of the room, where the sound gears were also to be placed. Everything was so perfect.

"This is great," Ryuichi found himself speechless. Never had he seen such a gigantic place that seemed huge enough to hold millions of people. They have never had a concert inside before, and were so unaware of exactly how huge these places could be. Noriko was also taken aback,

"Aye, aye, aye." She poured from her soft pink lips, "You could hold a circus in here." With a small chuckle, she noticed the very large amount of distance they were from the stage. "How long do you think it would take to walk up to the stage?"

Tohma never really thought about it and seemed abashed at the thought, "It may take a little while, maybe ten minutes?"

As the two of them talked about it, Ryuichi had already gotten a head start at the whole ten minutes to take towards the stage. He was so engrossed at the thought of singing up there, fan cheering and sweat dripping from his forehead and down to his chin. The lights were already flashing and his mind, the beat of the songs flowing in his ears. He could hear the crowd screaming his name, "_Ryuichi, Ryuichi!_"

"Ryuichi!" Noriko stammered with her voice and tugged at his collar. She ran up to him, zapping him out of his daydream. She was aware of what she had done and patted him on the head when he looked at her, "You were zoning out, Ryu-chan. Come on, you came here to rehearse."

   The music started to beat, causing the floor underneath their feet to shake. Tohma and Noriko would quickly hit the keys right on time, perfecting each moment of the song. Ryuichi stood, holding the microphone close, waiting for the introduction to end. He looked out, observing the long and wide amount of land this place took. He looked down in the front row to see one chair to be occupied by his fluffy companion, Kumagorou. He had put him there to watch them rehearse, as he has always done. Ryuichi smiled with his mouth ajar and waved at his little pal, who just sat and watched. He smiled back with that smile he always wore. He eyes averted down to the floor, getting back into the flow of the music. His eyes closed and fluttered back open quickly, as they wore a more serious tone.  He grasped the microphone and brought it to his lips, "nijuuhachi-ji no yoru wo kiritoru mado wo toshimetara hajimaru ichido shikaketara tokenai wana wo ma ni awanai **protection**." 

 The rehearsal went very well, all the beats were coordinated with Ryuichi's lyrics and his tone was perfect with each line. The concert sent a premonition of good hopes. They just finished up, testing the keys on the keyboards before shutting them off, turning the controls of the sound and music operator to see if everything was intact. Ryuichi, on the other hand, was busy catching his breath. He took off his already damp red headband to wipe all over his face, making it absorb the sweat. He reached out and grabbed the bottle of water he had brought to take a long drink of nourishment. He walked to the very edge of the stage and jumped off to land right on his feet, almost falling to his knees. He gave a happy smile as he walked towards the seated Kumagorou.

 "How did you like the rehearsal Kumagorou? Pretty good, huh?" his arms wrapped around the small bunny and he placed him against his chest. He walked back over to the stage, put his hand to the stage first for support and pulled himself back up on the stage. He sat down to play with Kumagorou, playing with his ears, making him hop up and down. "Can't wait for the concert, can you?" he shook Kumagorou's head up and down. He averted his eyes to Tohma and Noriko who were carrying on a conversation and Ryuichi raised an eyebrow at the mention of his name. He got to his feet and proceeded towards them.

"Well, it would only be a thing incase Tatsuha-san tries to make a move." Tohma placed a speaker of more to the right.

Noriko was brushing her hair, waving it out. She sighed, "Yes, but we shouldn't banish him from the concert. He is still a fan nonetheless and it would be wrong to do such a thing."

Ryuichi stopped in his tracks. They were still talking about him. He had almost forgotten about the whole event, but they just could not drop the whole subject for one second. They had to make a big deal out of anything. It was his problem and he was the one who should have dealt with it. He could feel it, the feeling of that boy who turned his life upside down. He made everything for him a roller coaster and headaches every morning until the sun went down. 

"He can come." Ryuichi spoke out, making the both of them jump from unawareness that he was listening. He looked at the both of them with those eyes he had used just a while ago during rehearsal. He broke it fingers to his soft lips and turned to look at the stadium in which he may see the boy himself soon. "If he tries to make any advantages towards me, than we can do something about him."

**_End_**__

Man, I have a bad habit of ending chapters with Ryuichi saying something. It is so cold down here, but my muses just keep whispering ideas into my head. Mwaha. It is going to get better, I promise you. 

Inside concert. Weird idea, but I got it from actually going to a concert inside before, and they are actually gigantic. You would not believe how many acres it must take.

Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, although more would be appreciated. I have low confidence. ._.

**PikuPiku**: Don't hate me, okay? I need lots of love, so give me cookies. Heh. In addition, thanks for the Kumagorous, I wanted one so badly. Tatsuha does not see himself so lucky anymore, huh? Thanks for review.

**Queen Of Vegetasei**: I love you for the encouragement. Thank you so much! Moreover, sorry to say, my muses made me write the chapter and I proved you wrong. Sorry, but hopefully things will turn out! Let us hope so!

**I-Love-Ken-Hidaka**: Thank you for the praise. I am not so sure of a 

lemon, or not. The only way I would make one is if I get enough 

requests to decide. But then again, I am not sure if I should.


	5. Forgive me

   Howdy, everyone. I noticed that everyone posted chapters on Valentines Day, or even a new story. Alas, Angel Dust, Chapter 5 refused to be finished by that date, demanding for work on it. Maybe this should be a late Valentines treat for my readers. However, I get to write more replies to reviews, seeing as I got more reviews last time. Thank you and I love you all!

**Gravitation** © Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 5**

        Had the days really gone by that fast? One moment, time itself would seem to slow everything down for him, making everything seem so out of reach. Every day the past week seemed to cause different attitudes in him; one day he would be aggressive and hostile, the next day he seemed as though something must have mitigated his own mind.  His surroundings were almost in a blur of mild consciousness and the stress that was building on him was not helping.

Some anonymous force pulled his attention toward the small mini calendar that lay on a hard wood cabinet. He was sure that he had looked at the block of assorted papers more than five times repeatedly now, but just wanted to make sure his eyes were not fooling. 

     The concert was today. By the time the clock would turn over to seven o' clock tonight, he would be up there on stage, in front of millions of hollering fans that are willing to give their lives up for just one second to the band they obsessed over. The very thought enthused his senses, making his fingers shake in utter excitement, ready to grab that microphone that awaited him tonight. He was a little timorous in a way; he always was the morning before concerts. Everything always went so well that it seemed pointless to worry. It was that boy. He was the one who was making him worry the most, troubled him so. He wondered if he would actually come up after the rendezvous between the before, or would he actually be that indomitable? In a way, he actually yearned for him to be there, to hear him sing. Ryuichi looked out the window, hoping to find the answers to all of his problems.

 He found none.

"C minus?" Miyu degraded her test results on her science paper. She was so baffled to see such a low grade, and knew her parents were to scold her once she got home. Instead of being put down because of her own work, she took the opportunity to glance across the room with a gauche glance, trying to see if anyone did better than she did. 

 Of course, all the ethereal, autocratic girls had gotten wonderful grades. They probably just went home and asked help from one of their many boyfriends; how else do you think they were straight A students? Making an excuse that it was all hard work they had done, but would never take a pop quiz freely on their own. With an exhale, she took out her folder, which was pervaded with Nittle Grasper stickers, and placed her paper in the folder. With a smile to cover her disappointment, she turned around to face the desk behind her, where her one true love sat. "Hey, Tatsuha-kun. That was a bad test, huh? You would not believe what I got."

 Tatsuha nonchalantly took his paper and showed her the A that was stamped on the top of the paper. "What about it 'being so bad'?" he grinned devilishly, which only made Miyu grow more furious.

"How in the hell did you get a grade like that," Miyu asked him forcefully, "I do not remember studying with you last night."  

It was strange for Tatsuha to get such an outstanding grade; he seemed to be a little surprised himself. She did notice the difference in his attitude after she mentioned the concert Nittle Grasper was to have. After that, his smile never faded one second from his lips. He even found the opportunity to caress her the night before; making her afraid she would have a chafe from all of the rubbing. He was so motivated for a reason unknown to her, but she liked it. She knew this was the day she would have to let him know. His raven eyes met her ocean blue ones, and made her heart stop for a moment by giving her a smile of enthusiasm. 

She smiled back, her hands doddering from embarrassment.

Every day the school would allow the students to have their lunches on the lawn, and they took the most of it. Kyoto was always such a wonderful place for outdoor eating, with the beautiful scenery and wildlife to keep you company. It set out the perfect serenity in the air, making you feel so calm and relaxed. The school itself also had a very peaceful, enlightened look. It looked just like the temples around town, wooden and colored with just a limit of natural scheme. Couples would sit together, share lunches and talk about their plans for the weekend. Singles would eat alone with friends, or even the sweet nothings going on between couples, yearning for the same attention.

  "How romantic," Miyu sighed with misty, love-dosed eyes as she watched a girl kiss her beaux on the lips for a few minutes. They were both sitting together on a bench near the schoolhouse, and the girl had cooked a warm meal for her boyfriend. Miyu pulled back her long, black hair and rubbed her legs against the soft texture of the grass. The rays of the sunlight were coming through the crevices of the leaves, which were shading her. She looked down at her boxed lunch. She fixed okonomiyaki and prepared a little bowl of miso-flavored ramen, Tatsuha's favorite foods. Her satisfaction for her hard work was enormous, and made her feel like a wife to her love. She dreamed of making her lunch everyday at a home of their own, having children to teach and watch as they grow. She let out an exhale of pure please of the thought. She remembered the final addition and took out a piece of scrap paper and a blue point pen, sketching in words some very important news. She blushed just by writing it down and quickly put it in the bento. Her cheeks were crimson red and her heart rate was soaring.

"I can't wait for him to find out."

The lid of the box shut quickly as she saw Tatsuha, talking to some of his friends as they walked around the corner of the school. None of them seemed to be carrying a boxed lunch, or they could have already eaten. Nevertheless, Miyu extended her hand into the air and started to wave it back and forth in a horizontal line, a grin plastered across her face.

"Tatsuha-kun," she hoped for him to acknowledge her calls as she shouted, "over here!"

At the sound of her voice, one of his friends looked over to see her motioning at Tatsuha. He gave her a look of no importance, looked at Tatsuha and pointed to where she sat, "Hey, she wants you."

It seemed Tatsuha was aware of her presence, and the fact she wanted him to sit next to her, yet he acted repressed on his own from her. Because of her shouting and foolish acts, the conversations between him and his friends were gone and everything was so inaudible and silent, only looks from the other males were what he was receiving. He swallowed harshly, knowing his friends were waiting for him to take movement: stay with them, or go over to the beautiful girl waiting for him. 

"I'll be right back," Tatsuha instructed his friends in defeat, and walked over to the girl sitting on the grass beneath the large tree, "What?"

Miyu patted her hand on the ground next to her, "Sit." 

"Humph," Tatsuha grunted under his breath, not liking the treatment she was giving him. She commanded him like a dog, yet he replied and sat down next to her, not knowing what she was wanting from him. All the girls he been with always acted like this to him, always wanting him around as if he cared for them with reverence. It was very agitating to him that he just gave her a sharp glance, "What do you want?" he asked once more, hoping for an answer this time.

"I fixed you lunch," Miyu took the bento and placed it into his lap, her eyes glimmering for him to accept it. "I made okonomiyaki and miso ramen, your favorites!"

Tatsuha was tempted to take out the served food before him, but he declined, pushing the box over to her. "I don't want anyway. I already ate."

"What?" Miyu stammered, feeling as though a large conflagration inside her heart was automatically burned out by a wave. She could not let Tatsuha get away without seeing the note she left him inside the box, so she put it back in his lap, "Please? I went through all that to make this for you."

"No." Tatsuha said once more, starting to feel a little rankled at her persistent attitude, "you can cook me dinner tonight. I am not hungry right now."

"Just look at it, at least," Miyu said, pulling the bento to his face.

Tatsuha was baffled at her behavior over a packed lunch! Never had she acted like this before over something so little. "Why do you want me to have it so bad?"

"Because," was her only reply before going stone cold silent. 

The bento in front of Tatsuha's face was grabbed by his strong hands, and placed down in Miyu's lap. He stood up before her, "Listen." He gave her a wink of eye and grinned, "I promise I will eat what you fix me tonight, okay? Right now I am kind of busy." By her silence, he found that as an 'okay', so he patted her on the head, feeling the softness of her hair, just like fabric. After that, he left to catch up with his waiting friends.

She watched him with the most lugubrious affection, wishing he had accepted her offer. She knew Tatsuha more then anyone else would have. Ever since they were children at the age of eight, their parents found it appropriate to suit them together, get along, and be acquainted to one another. It was not until the age of eight before she realized her revering feelings for him, the love she felt. She remembers how coy and recoiling she was around him once she figures out how she felt towards him. Yet, he never seemed to notice. He was always the same to her, wanting to play and talk about Nittle Grasper. He never really understood the true meaning of her deep adoration she held for him. Then again, he still does not.

  Miyu was the same way, somehow. She will forever remain abashed around him; no matter how many times she has soi-disant her love to him aloud. Interaction between them only made things more complicated for them both in the past. They hardly said anything to each other for weeks after their first sexual intercourse, especially because they were aware of being cousins, but it made Miyu even shyer around him than before. For Tatsuha, it only gave him one more problem. She was not blind on much he gets aggravated when a girl hangs off him, and he was never afraid to tell her about his past, as he never did with anyone before. Nevertheless, she wanted to be around him more, be more close to him, and to love him more than anyone ever had or ever will.

He was _her_ impedimenta. _Her_ Tatsuha. 

  The bento lid unbarred with a turn of her wrists. Her eyes turned to take a gander at what she had placed inside, on the top of all the meals. A note, which read, "_We are engaged_."

"Once more," Tohma apprised with a wave of his hand, turning the heated knobs of a speaker. Electric waves seemed to wave through their bodies, sending chills of excitement through them. The band was getting ready for the concert tonight, and their expectations were high. The atmosphere was perfect. Full and cooling. In more aspect, they were entirely unrestful with jittering nerves, hoping that they would not mess up on anything in the concert.

Noriko and Tohma were just giving the speakers and equipment one last check before the concert, where security would over check them before they go on stage. They were rehearsing more than what they normally do, on the account to take their minds off the bustling things in the past, and the back of their minds.

   Ryuichi, who decided to help with the booths of drinks and souvenirs, had much to take off his mind. He bent his legs, gathering enough balance and strength to push up the large amount of wood of the stand. His sweat would occasionally drip down his forehead, pooling across the floor it hit. His mind would wonder every now and again, thinking of the boy he may or may not see that awaiting night. The thought almost taunted him. Pressure started to hit his shoulder blades and it signaled that he was holding the board too long. 

"Ah," he whimpered with surprise and turned to the worker beside him, "Sorry!" he put the board up quickly to finish the booth. The sweat was starting to gather among his headband, cooling of the rest of his exterior. "I really need to stop thinking about that," he reminded himself.

 Noriko grabbed a cup of water and pressed it against her lips, allowing the wet liquid run down her throat, cooling her face. "Man," she chimed after the hard drink, "I can't wait until tonight. Everything seems so perfect."

"Millions of people are coming," Tohma looked at a small handbook, written on it was how many attendance have bought tickets. "People from all over Japan, and even overseas are going to arrive tonight. This event surely is going to be one of Nittle Grasper's best." 

Noriko nodded with a grin of true enthusiasm, but was soon taken aback once her cell phone rang. She grabbed the small, black phone on her waist and looked to see who had called her. A small flash of shock captured her face, and a gasp released between her vocals. She breathed harshly as she looked up at Tohma, who was giving her an eye of both concern and query. 

"My husband," she informed the blonde looking at her. "It will only take a moment," was the last thing she told her band mate before taking off around a corner. She pushed the talk button her phone and brought it to her ear with a large exhale, "Tatsuha!" she shrieked in utter movement, surprised he would call her. She looked around her after proclaiming his name to the phone, making sure either Tohma or Ryuichi knew whom she was talking to, "Why are you calling now?"

"_Because,_" he voice came through, his shyness was clear in his voice, "_I just wanted to thank you for the back stage pass you sent me this morning._"

Noriko winked to herself, obviously with a plan up her sleeve, "No problem, Tatsuha-chan. After all, if no one is taking action, I will. Tohma and Ryuichi are so oblivious on how much your apology will fix things," she placed her palm on her forehead, running her fingers through her soft hair. "The tension between us three is heart aching anymore! We hardly talk about _anything_, all because of what happened."

"_Wow_," Tatsuha let out a small chortle, "_Now I feel really bad._"

"Oh, don't think you caused all of it," she jumped after he said that, knowing she must have said the wrong thing, "It is merely Tohma who is causing the silence, and a little bit of Ryuichi. It is as if they are trying to forget it, but their attitudes won't let them." 

A large, crackling sound was heard from the phone. Noriko could not make out what Tatsuha was doing in that time, but waited for him to reply. "Yeah, I feel pretty bad about, anyways. I hope he will accept my apology."

"It's Ryu-chan we are talking about," Noriko smiled wholeheartedly, looking over to the 31-year-old helping workers, "if there is anyone more forgiving than Buddha himself, it's my Ryu-chan."

"_Great, I will be there tonight._"

"Tatsuha," the elder man walked over to the boy's room. It was obvious he waited for him to stop his conversation on the phone. Tatsuha saw the concern in the drooping eyes of his, "Miyu-san told me how you acted to her at school today."

His father's words startled him. How he acted to Miyu? He treated her now differently than what he usually does everyday, or maybe something passed him that he did not know about. He always teased her, which she found pleasure in. His father noticed the look of ruin in his raven eyes, and explained how Miyu told him about the occurrence during lunch.

"What about it?" he asked in a monotone tone, not knowing anything wrong with it. He would refuse her food a lot of the time, yet never has she reacted this way before, "I told her I would eat her supper tonight."

"She was trying to tell you something, son," he answered with a swift glance and a cough, trying to signal to something. Tatsuha's muscles tightened at those words, and his body made a quick jerk to the left. He was afraid of what his father may say next, "You two are to be espoused."

Tatsuha took no time after his father let those words curve from his mouth, and grabbed his jacket. The keys to his bike were no longer lying on the counter, but were picked up between his strong fingers. "I'm leaving," he croaked under a penurious, dry voice. His eyes stared down his father with a discern look before shutting the door behind him.

"Oh boy," his father exhaled. He knew that his son would not have taken it well.

After taking a long, cooling ride on his motorcycle, Tatsuha decided to take a rest on the nearest bench. The streetlights were already on, giving him more heating to his body. "I can't believe it," he toyed with his mind. He knew Miyu was acting strangely today, but she was trying to tell him they were _engaged_. How could this have happened? His life was finally turning around again after the whole kissing accident, yet things just got worse.

 He thought his father respected him more, understood him more. To engage him without his word of approval seemed to conniving, and thought he would only do that to Eiri, like the whole Ayaka betrothal. He seemed so cheated now, especially because he finally found out how to make things right with Ryuichi. Now he seemed not up to go and even see the concert. He never noticed before, but he was just being treated as a puppet to his father. Monk duties; life; now marriage. He really is like Eiri more than what he had known. 

He grabbed a small, blue piece of laminated paper from his coat pocket. The backstage pass to the Nittle Grasper concert, hanging on a small chain to wrap around his delicate neck. The one thing that he treated like treasure the whole day seemed like such malarkey and debris to him now. He tossed it to the aside, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket instead, lighting one of the sticks up and staring at the smoke as he exhaled it into the evening air.

 The moment his life started to become brighter again, the roof would cave in, leaving him in total darkness once more. This time, he did not care to see the light again.

  "What a turn out," Ryuichi said with a mouth agape. The whole auditorium was packed with fans, eager to see the performance. As he stood in his dressing room that was placed to a good location to look out among the people, he found himself shaking for an unknown reason. Anticipation, fright or who knows what was causing him to jitter. The shaking was rare for him, especially after years of doing this kind of thing. His beautiful, enchanting eyes scanned the audience, overlooking each one. The sound of distance footsteps caught his ears and he turned around quickly, as if trying to hide something.

  "Looking for someone," the silhouette of a slim, fine figure soon came into view, "Ryu-chan?"

Ryuichi relieved himself after knowing who was after him, "Oh, Noriko," he breathed pathetically; commonly a girl would sound that way after not being caught doing something they should not. His brown bangs hung a little bit over his eyes, dangling from his headband, and sailed across his face after he turned his head to the side, not looking at her. "No."

  "He'll be here," she said in a compassionate tone that made her seem to read his mind, and comprehend what he was thinking. "He would never miss one of our concerts for the world, even a little quarrel and misunderstanding."

 The sobriety tone in his voice, the intentness of his burning eyes as he looked out the crowd suddenly fled from his entire being at her advice. He finally knew whom she was talking about, even though he was looking for him in the back of his mind. His turned his feet around so he could face her properly, unknown what to say to her, even a whisper seemed impossible.

"Noriko-chan--"

"Okay everyone," Tohma promenaded around the corner, "it's time to start! You ready?"

Ryuichi swallowed a large amount of dry saliva in his mouth and just looked at Tohma's high spirits. He turned to see Noriko's response, but she was already walking down the hallway, swinging her hips as she hummed a tune that seemed familiar to an old song of theirs. For Noriko, she was acting weird. Ryuichi had a reared eyebrow at his friend walking down the hallway, but turned to Tohma with a jaunty smile,

"Let's do it."

The crowd cheered with enormous enthusiasm, screaming the name of the band they had all come to see. Some were already dancing to the waiting music, using it as a 'warm-up'. Other were getting their finishing touches on signs they would hold up, proclaiming how much they _loved_ one of the band mates, and of course, their were others who were much more satisfied in drinking the alcoholic beverages until their wait was over.

"_Nittle Grasper_" was the only audible thing you could hear from the crowd, except for the excess use of Ryuichi, Tohma, or Noriko's name. 

The stage was so dark now, that not even one-person saw the figures walk open the stage. However, applause and cheering ensued once they heard the sound of the familiar keyboards going off. The cheering grew louder as the beat started to pick up, and the stage lights slowly started to turn on, giving them one sight at a time. 

"_Ryuichi-sama_!" is the loudest thing heard once all the stage light turned on, giving a perfect view of the man standing upfront of the stage, microphone in hand.

  _"He'll be here," _flowed through his mind, just those three words Noriko had told him gave him the impulse of looking out to the crowd, looking for that one person. If he were here, what would happen? Would he actually try to come after him, or hate him forever? He saw no sight of him anywhere among the millions of fans.

Even though the occurrence between the two was rather harsh, it still disappointed him to not see him here. He had no reason why he felt this way, but something inside made him wish Tatsuha were here to see him, even for the last time. In deep thought, he hardly noticed the music playing all around him and the intro was almost over. Hands placed on the microphone, he clasped it harder and brought it to his mouth,

"_Nijuuhachi-ji no yoru wo kiritoru_," his voice was perfect, and left everyone astounded. He would inhale for quick breaths, and sing to his full content, "_mado wo toshimetara hajimaru ichido shikaketara tokenai wana_ _wo _ma ni awanai **protection**."

 The song was going well, and he could feel the emotion running out of his mind and into the microphone, in a way, singing out seemed to wash away his dilemmas from the past couple of days. This concert made him feel like the old Sakuma Ryuichi again.

"_Tatoeba kimi wo kizutsuketai_," but still, "_jiorama ni tojikomete_," but still… this song, "_tataitemita tte sakendetemo kikoenai sa **predilection**_." The song was reminding him of him. Never had he noticed the lyrics would actually relate to someone on his mind. He wanted to stop the song at that moment of realization, yet he wanted to continue. His entire mind was at tug-o'-war.

"Oh shit," came someone into the building, "it's already started!" The person dragged himself through the crowds to get a better look to make up for missing some of the song. People dancing and hopping around screaming were bumping Tatsuha. He knew he almost made a mistake, and he was not going to make another one. He froze once he got a good sight of the beauty dancing on stage, oscillating his hips, motioning his hands. His eyes were closed in emotional thought as the mystical melody tossed from his lips.

"_Iki mo dekinai joukyou shita de wa sugureta ai wo musaboru,_" sweat dripped from the vocalist's chin, his eyes opened in a hazy state, "**_Can't get enough_**_ kotoba yori mo motto, **don't let me down** tashika ni misete hoshii, **one more night** kusuka ni kizutsuita kimi wo mitsumeru me sono saki ni._" 

Tatsuha felt the urge to climb up onto stage and apologize now; the wait was taunting him, making it much longer to get this off his chest. "Sakuma-san," his whisper was almost inaudible. 

Ryuichi held his right hand to his chest, his vocals strengthening. "Uragiru tame ni umaretekita kuchibiru wo togisumase muimi na rikutsu ni mata muragaru orokashisa ni **predilection**."

Tatsuha watched the whole night, mesmerized by his excellent, handsome beauty. Everything that had happened in his mind were gone, he actually felt like the old fan boy he used to be, fawning over Ryuichi. As Ryuichi finally felt like his old self once again, so did Tatsuha. 

"Thank you everyone," Ryuichi announced into the microphone. The concert was over after about three hours, and he was overlapped in heat. The words he would say were muffled through long, hard pants of breaths. You could see the sweat among his face, and his headband was a darker red than what it was. "I enjoyed all of you coming here today, it surely brought me out of a bad mood I have been having recently."

  Noriko and Tohma gave each other a foolish glance between drinking from their water bottles.

"I hope you will always support us, Nittle Grasper." 

Noriko sighed, sitting herself down on a soft chair in their private room, "That was a blast!" she exclaimed after kicking off her high heel shoes.

 "I kept having a bad feeling I would mess up," Tohma admitted after cracking open a sake. "But in the end, everything went well. And of course, it made some of us feel better."

Noriko leaned over to rub her sore legs, and eyed the room. The jaunty male was nowhere to be found inside the room, "Speaking of which, where is Ryu-chan?"

 "Na no da!" came a familiar, cheerful screech as a big, ball of sugar rolled into the room, holding his pink bunny companion. The sweaty man was having so much fun, ignoring the fact he was overheated. His attitude was proof that he was in a much brighter mood. He leaped to his feet to jump onto the nearest vacant chair, "Super Ryu-chan is here!" he started to punch the air in a ninja style, except much more unprofessional. 

 Tohma was proud of his sudden change; it was obvious he was glad he scheduled the concert on a perfect time. "Yes, it seems we are all pretty super right now. Want something to drink Ryuichi-san?" The beer in his hand was very tempting, and Ryuichi pleasantly took the offer, his throat starch and dry.

  Noriko took that as an opportunity to get a drink herself, "This was a very important concert after all. And because of its ability to put people in better moods, it is even more special." She giggled. 

"Tasty," Ryuichi squealed with a large grin after chugging down some of his beer, "But really, I am surprised I haven't had anyone ask for autographs yet. By now, a lot of people would be surrounding me."

 Noriko stopped scratching off some of her finger paint to gasp. She had forgotten about the arrangement for Tatsuha to apologize to Ryuichi, and was enjoying a nice, cold beer! 

Her fingers pulled up the strap of her tank top back, and thought of the first lie she could come up with "Oh, speaking of people wanting to see you, Shuichi called me earlier and said he wanted to see you after the concert."

"Shu-chan?" Ryuichi's eyes sparkled. Of course, he was gullible enough to fall for it. It would be the first time for an actual friend outside of the band, of course, to come and see him after a concert. His happiness grew another level as he held of the stuffed bunny, "Come on Kumagorou, and let's go see Shuichi!" with that, he took off out the door immediately.

  Tatsuha walked behind stage, looking at all the fan girls and fan boys fortunate enough to get a backstage pass, just as he did. Many of them were probably relatives or close friends, but most just seemed like groupies. The women with overused jewelry on the bodies would just talk about sleeping with the band mates, and how they have slept with all of them at the same time. Tatsuha has had his share of fantasies, but never could he actually think of it happening. 

  What he was looking for was hard. Noriko informed him to just search for Ryuichi, but the easiest thing to search for became the hardest. He could have been anywhere: in the middle of a group of fans, in a room, he could not even be backstage.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." He groaned under his breath, looking like a lost puppy who did not even know who Nittle Grasper was. His head turned in the perfect time to see Ryuichi step out of Nittle Grasper's private room. He was holding Kumagorou and had the most angelic look on his face, with a smile to cure anyone's blues. 

Just like he saw him on their 'date'.

Ryuichi's head turn back and forth, as if looking for someone. He seemed a little disappointed after he did not see Shuichi, but jumped at a voice.

  "Sakuma-san—"

"Everyone keeps sneaking up on me," he choked for breath with a short, fake giggle. He turned around to see the broad neck of someone, "Oro?" he queried at the height, wondering they stuff their shoes. He looked up to see the raven eyes of a familiar person. "T-Tatsuha-kun?"

 Tatsuha gazed into the older, yet shorter man's eyes with sincerity. He wanted to say he was sorry, but his mind practically froze on him, causing him to go numb from the head to the neck. 

 "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be back here," Ryuichi stammered in a voice that made him seem to want revanche.

 The black haired boy, at loss for words just showed him his backstage pass. As it seems, he came to his senses earlier.

 "How did you get that?" he asked him, wanting to know everything before falling to his knees in fear.

Tatsuha took in a deep breath, wanting to tell him _everything_. About how bad he felt, how much he was sorry and would take it all back if he could, how he cried over it, and all the shit he had been through. He wanted to kill himself for not being able to tell him. He really was a kid compared to Ryuichi; he could tell that is what he was to him in his eyes.

  "Listen," He ignored his last question, gasping for breath as if he was drowning. "I'm… I'm sorry." Ryuichi's eyes emitted the shock within his mind, and the gasp for breath was obvious on how taken aback he was. 

 "I never meant for any of this to happen," he admitted, "after what I done, and saw your face, I felt so full of vice and wanted to just end everything at that moment. Tohma told me I should not see you again, and in a way, I did not want to see you anymore. I thought if I did, I would be able tell how much I hurt you and that would of broken me. Nevertheless, I was already broken. Everyone tried to 'make me feel better' by doing things for me without letting me know, but in the end, it made things for me a lot worse." He gave Ryuichi the backstage pass, who took it with shaking hands.

 "I got this backstage pass just this morning. After I received it, I was so happy. I was not that happy for the past few days, because I knew I would actually get a chance to make things right, even thought it would probably make things worse. I did not care, even if it took more pain to me, I wanted to try to make things right with you, hopefully to make you feel a lot better, not caring for my emotions in the end. I almost did not come to the concert, drowning myself into pure doubt. The only reason I came was for you, to see you possibly smile on stage. That's it."

Ryuichi had nothing to say, but one thing. "Who gave you this?"

"Ukai Noriko," he said with hardly any care. "She wanted me to apologize to you; she gave me a lot more hope for myself."

"Oh," was all he responded to that, giving an odd look to the room Noriko was in with Tohma. He gave the pass back to him, and just stared at the ground, feeling the tears build up. "I do forgive you. I was never that mad at you, you know. I was merely mad at myself more then anything. Everyone kept asking if I was okay, just like people with you. They made such a big deal out of it, as if I should never be able to do things like that with anybody." He smirked, a tear falling from his eyes and stained the ground. "Maybe the song was right. My lips must feel sharp."

 "No they don't," Tatsuha advised him in a soothing tone, trying to console him as much as he could. "To tell you the truth, and don't laugh—" Ryuichi looked up at him with teary eyes, noticing the slight scarlet on his cheeks and his averted eyes, "your lips taste good."

 Ryuichi gave him an eccentric look before letting a small laugh escape his lips with a small hiccup, "What flavor?"

  "I don't know," Tatsuha's cheeks grew hotter. He was surprised at his straightforwardness, "Pineapple?"

Ryuichi let out a longer giggle, making Tatsuha look at him with a smile, along with his blush across his face. "Great, the spiky fruit." He giggled and looked up into his eyes, "I am glad you actually came out and told me this."

Tatsuha sighed with relief, "Me too. I was so scared to actually even come and watch you sing." He put out his hands, to get it shaked by Ryuichis. "Well," he smiled with charisma, "Now that we are friends again, how about we go to the zoo once more? I will dress up as the bear again, if you do the bunny. It will be fun! Than we can go and have icecre—"

 He was suddenly cut off by the pressing sensation of Ryuichi's lips on his. His raven eyes were wide open, and traveled down to look at the man kissing him. His eyes were closed, with an imprint of a wet tear near his nose. To be near to Tatsuha's height, he has to get on his tiptoes, which only let him be to his forehead. It was a cute thing to him, though. 

 Tatsuha sunk into the kiss, not wanting it to down end. His hands started to vibrate, grabbing onto his hips, rubbing them delicately in a circle motion, causing him to chortle. His body heat started to flow onto Tatsuha, causing an emotional tension between the two. Tatsuha was taken aback once the man took a little nibble onto his bottom lip before pulling away, blushing furiously. He had obviously never kissed anyone that long before, especially when he was the one who started it.

"So, umm," he tried to think of a conversation to start, avoiding eye contact with Tatsuha now. "What did it taste like this time?"

 Tatsuha laughed in his throat at that question, mostly because it was a weird one. "A _sour_ pineapple." His joke got through to Ryuichi, giving Tatsuha a cold, childish glare. Ryuichi seemed to get it was a joke after Tatsuha started laughing playfully.

"Well," he gave Tatsuha a kid like look, "your kiss tasted like sour milk."

Tatsuha threw back his head a little, knowing other people would object otherwise. He leaned in to give him a short kiss. He smiled at him, letting go of his hips and started grabbed something slowly out from his own pants. He looked at Ryuichi with a mischievous, handsome demeanor and asked,

  "Will you sign this autograph sheet for me?"

** End**

Nice little ol' ending, huh? Don't worry, "End" just means it is the end of the chapter, sillies. I need to start getting on the next chapter sooner or later. Time for reviews!

Oh, the song is "Predilection", a real Gravitation song sung by the real God him; Yamaguchi Kappei.

**Nittle Grasper Wonder**: Outstanding? Wow, that is a big praise for me. I truly thank you for the compliment. In addition, I am considering a lemon part somewhere or another. Also, I will be looking forward to your return. Thanks!

**Cherry-Wolf**: ….. What is this!? Do my eyes deceive me!? Another Tatsuha fan like myself? Wow, and I thought there were only so many god-like people AKA: People who like Tatsuha. Anyways, as you can see, your questions were answered in this chapter. Very good? Wow, even that compliment is above my standards. Of course it is Tatsuha/Ryuichi, silly goose!

**NeedlePoint**: Yeah, even I do feel for the fan boy a little in my story. I can be so cruel to my favorite character.

**Lucifer de Marque Forcee**: lol. I probably will have a lemon. Moreover, I agree, they are TOO cute together! If I owned them, which will never happen, I would stick them in a closet together and open it up and take a picture… because, you know they would be doing something. =D

**ksha2222**** aGoddess on her knees**: Everyone wants a lemon out of me. I added a little bit of spice in this chapter because of it. So, be satisfied for me. *wink* Also, Tatsuha is going to have to try harder to win that. After all, it is only beginning. 

**ShiTiger**: No. "End" is just the end of the chapter, which will always be there. In addition, they did rather make up, huh? Ryuichi made a BOLD move. Who knows what he is getting himself into? Yeah, but I love it when Ryuichi acts like his age, even thought being happy is cute, too. Thanks for the comment.

**PikuPiku**: It is perfectly fine you are late. You know the saying, "Last but not least". Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and not so sure if I could speed up their interaction anymore then I already have. Sorry. 

  PikuPiku, I hear by grant you the cyber cookies! You guessed right on who the newest character was! Miyu-chan is! She is such a neat character that I could not get rid of her. She was only just supposed to be in one chapter, but oh well. Thanks for guessing!

   Please review.


	6. Zoo trip

   I really appreciate my readers for coming this far. I really thought I would lose many people by now, and even reviews in the 20's are a surprise for me. I could not thank you enough for what you guys have given me. I love you all.

On a small note, colds are the worst. I woke up this morning and I have a stuffed nose, dry throat, and all that good cold stuff. When I get colds, I usually have a hard time writing a story. However, I hope I can make this one work out. I am determined!

**Gravitation** © Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 6**

The darkness was eternal, covering up any shade of color to the human eye. Everything was so quiet, not even a small ringing of the eardrums were to be called upon. Death was the only relative thing this feeling could be compared to. Even if there were sight, only darkness would be found. He could hear nothing, not even his own breath masking in front of him. He could only depend on touch, and there was a smooth, warm feeling surrounding his entire body. Ryuichi could feel the starchy sleep in his eyes, forcing himself not to open his eyes. He was afraid what he may see once he unclothed his eyes. He may find himself where he should not be, or with somebody he should not be escorted by. On instinct, his slender eyes cracked open slowly, hoping to find everything completely normal around him. His eyelids brushed against his oculars twice at what he faced. 

  A light blue, rigid surface blinded him. It had a resemblance to an ocean's wave, with some light deeming into it. It felt soft to the touch and was warm against his sensitive body. He grabbed the substance, which was his covers, and pulled it away from his lineaments and to his lower exchequer. His body felt like he ran through a fire, parched and irritated. His fingers felt numb as they ran through his silky hair, crossing over his forehead. A deep banging clustered his head, feeling like a large migraine of some sort.

"Ouch," he wheezed as he quickly trickled his fingers across his forehead. The tenement he was staying in was familiar, and he recognized it as his own room. His senses were relieved at the sights of his room, glad he was not somewhere he should not be. What had happened last night? He did not really remember coming home after the concert, but found himself in the safe counseling of his sheets. Rolling himself over on his side, his pupils magnified from surprise once he saw the figure before his face. 

   "Kumagorou!" he exclaimed through a silent voice once he found his favorite bunny lying next to him. "I wonder what happened last night," he asked him, rubbing his hands on his soft, pink fabric body. His black, button eyes gazed at Ryuichi, giving him an innocent look, as if he did not know what happened neither. "Well, how about we go and get some breakfast?" he grabbed the bunny and pushed his head down in a nod, smiling at his agreement. He got to his feet, sliding himself out of bed with Kumagorou clutched in his hand. Dizziness consumed him, almost making him fall back to the bed, but he regained his balance soon enough. He shook his head and continued out of his room, ignoring the fact his room was much tidier then what it usually is. 

   The stairs creaked from the pressure of Ryuichi's feet stepping down and off them. He carried on a conversation with Kumagorou on what they would be eating once they made it into the kitchen. At the end of the stairway, Ryuichi hoped down onto the carpet and hummed along his way. His ladder migraine was gone, disappearing without a trace. However, he still had a small headache that he was being oblivious to, not wanting it to ruin his day. A smile would not leave his face, presumably, because of the whole misunderstanding he and Tatsuha were having was finally resolved, and everything was back to normal.

Jaunty and hopefully, Sakuma Ryuichi was finally back to his senses. However, in a way, he felt fuller of energy than he has ever had before. Everything was going just the way he wanted it to. His feet slowed down to a much longer pace once he heard an almost inaudible sound. He looked both ways, seeing nothing that could have possibly made some kind of racket. The noise was heard again and this time, Ryuichi got a little frightened, stiffing up. 

 "Noriko?" he asked, hoping that his commanding, risqué friend would jump out before him with a smile. At the scène of no answer, he held onto Kumagorou tighter to his chest. The noise he once heard suddenly could not be heard anymore. What he remembered, it sounded like the rubbing of some kind of cloth. It was a queer noise to his ears and made him curious. Breakfast could wait for a little investigation; it was his house he had to defend, after all. He quietly tiptoed his way across the hallway, making it to his living room. Back pressed against the wall, he dared not to look inside the room, thinking their could be a murderer. 

 "Just one look," he swallowed a hard amount of saliva, proceeding to look over to doorway into the living counters. What he saw was someone on his couch, sprawled out in an outstretched manner, clasping a pillow to his face with a wide-open mouth. His legs were practically falling off the couch, while one arm already was. His clothes were in need for ironing, and his raven locks hung over his face, sticking to his cheeks. On the coffee table next to the occupied couch, many of his possessions were on it. An open cigarette carton stood next to a pair of keys that must have been his. His red lighter must have been tossed onto the table, seeing as it was almost to the other side of the small table. 

 He shifted in his sleep quickly, rubbing his socked feet together, letting out a small groan.

 "Oh my god," Ryuichi brought his back to the wall once again, looking discomfited, "what is Tatsuha doing on my couch? Could he have actually slept over?" he puzzled over the unknown events that might have happened last night for the boy to end up on his couch. A sudden chill ran through his spine, causing fright to appear onto his now white face. "Oh no," he staggered, "could I have, **we** have..." 

 Ryuichi felt his mind go dizzy, thinking of what they must have done. He tried so hard to remember what happened last night, but he could not remember anything! He could only imagine all the things they must have done together once they reached his household. Kissing with dominance, rubbing each other spicily, touching their foreign regions in pure ecstasy, and then intercourse. How could he let all of that happen?

"Morning," an anonymous person greeted him to his left, causing him to leap from shock. Once he turned to see who the person was, he was even more shocked to see Tatsuha standing there, giving him a gratuitous look. He must have gotten up and walked over to see him against the wall while he was overreacting about last night. 

  "Tatsuha!" Ryuichi shouted at his very presence, not knowing how to act with him now. He fumbled with words and just decided to avoid looking at him. He would rather not know what happened last night at all.

  The taller male nictitated his deep, raven eyes at his weird behavior. He stretched out his masculine arms, letting a yawn escape his mouth. Without any delay, he decided to break the ice between them. "Do you want any breakfast?"

      The two sat at the kitchen table, breakfast before them. They said nothing to one another, and both kind of did not dare to look at one another, afraid of what the other may say. Ryuichi would slowly eat a scoop of his cereal and look at Kumagorou, who he placed on the table next to his bowl. Tatsuha, on the other hand, acted as if it was just another normal morning. He would take a bite from his dashimaki tamago; look around the room, collecting the sights to his memory. To be in Sakuma Ryuichi's house, eating breakfast in his kitchen. It was all a dream come true, but Sakuma Ryuichi himself seemed to not even be alive now. It was a good thought about being in his house, but Ryuichi was an even higher quality. Seeing him like that made the whole experience worthless to Tatsuha.

 "What," Ryuichi finally started to say, his eyes traveling across the table, "what happened last night?"

  Tatsuha took another bite from his dashimaki tamago, chewed it before swallowing and looked at the man with wonder, "What do you mean?"

  "After the concert," Ryuichi reminded him, looking into his deep eyes. He could hardly bring himself to what he wanted to say, too bashful and scared to know. "You apologized to me and everything, but I can hardly remember anything else."

   Tatsuha put his fork down on his plate and let out a large exhale, "I knew I would have to tell you sooner or later," he leaned back in his chair with a face full of guilt. He saw the thirty-one year old hold his spoon tighter, knowing he was afraid of what may have happened. "Due to the fact we were friends again, Noriko found it perfectly appropriate for us to celebrate: drinks, dancing, the works of a regular outing. I was a little wary, but I agreed to it." 

   "That's it?" Ryuichi dropped his spoon, his mouth almost dropped at the explaining. He had suspected so much more than what he was just told, and in a way, seemed a little disappointed. "What about my headache this morning then? And you were sleeping on my couch."

   "That was all a result from the party," he informed. "You drank a little too much, got a little crazy and could not have possibly have made it home by yourself. Seeing as I hardly drank anything, I gave you a ride on my motorcycle after receiving directions from Noriko." He giggled at the shorter, yet older male, "your headache was only a hangover. You sure can't handle your alcohol, Sakuma-san"

Ryuichi ignored the rest of what the younger boy was saying, and sunk into his chair. "Thank God. I thought maybe we had sexual intercourse or something," he grabbed Kumagorou and started to fumble with him.

  "Sex?" Tatsuha spitted, his eyes as big as plates. He could not believe his own ears, hearing such a thought from Sakuma Ryuichi. He could not believe that his very own God was thinking of him in such an intimate way, but then again, they did kiss after their apologies. "It is a nice sentiment, but I wouldn't take advantage of you when you are intoxicated." Tatsuha flinched after those very words, knowing damn well that he would take advantage of anyone if they were. In fact, why did he not last night?

 "Oh, I see." Ryuichi felt so relieved after knowing everything, and was glad nothing too far between them happened. He could not really see himself with a guy, really. "Wait, I kissed you." He reminded himself aloud.

  "Yeah," the boy gave him an awkward glance, "you did. What is so important about it? It was the **only** thing we did."

 "What?" his nerves darted and his heartbeat grew rapid, "You just said we didn't have sex!"

       Tatsuha motioned for him to calm down, counseling his fervent attitude, "We didn't. We kissed and touched each other, but don't worry, nowhere bad." Taking the last bite of his breakfast, he smiled at him. "Thanks for your autograph by the way."

 "Your welcome," Ryuichi pouted, still acting immature about the whole deal the night before. "My writing is hardly readable, so sorry about that."

   "No problem," Tatsuha grinned, "It isn't even for me anyway."

Ryuichi took his bowl and placed it in the dishwasher carefully, "really?" he asked, dumbfounded. It was strange of someone to ask for his autograph and not even be for him or her. He walked over to get eye to eye with the reclined Tatsuha, scanning every feature of his handsome face. "Who is it for?" 

     "A friend of mine," he tried to settle it at just that, not wanting to get in very big detail. "This friend of mine is a huge fan of yours, says that you are their idol." At that moment, he felt a sting of pain and hatred trigger in his brain. He almost forgot about the whole engagement between him and Miyu until he started thinking about her. What was he going to do now?

    "Idol, huh?" Ryuichi smiled with amusement, soaking in the thought. He acted as if no one ever thought of him as his or her idol before, "can I meet your friend sometime?"

    "No," Tatsuha countered quickly with a spike of hate in his voice, "I don't really even want to see her." He stood up, taking his empty plate and put it in the dishwater just as Ryuichi did before. He did not even look at Ryuichi as he walked past him and back into the living room.

  "What's wrong?" Ryuichi acknowledged his odd behavior. Once he was happy, and now he was acting like a completely different person. Grabbing Kumagorou and following Tatsuha into the room, he saw him gathering his things. "Tatsuha," he spoke, making sure Tatsuha knew he was standing there, "what is wrong? Are you and your friend fighting?"

Tatsuha grabbed his keys and put them into his pocket. Without even looking at his God, he replied, "You could say that. It is more complex than that, though." Not wanting to talk about the subject any longer, he put on his coat, shoving his cigarettes in his pocket, and turned to look at him. "It's been fun, Sakuma-san. I feel a lot better now that I apologized." 

 Ryuichi watched Tatsuha with worried eyes, wondering what he meant about his friend, why he was acting like this. He knew nothing of his newfound friend he just made up with the other night. For him to act like this, it seemed just like having a weird stranger in your house for the night. Then, that stranger just leaves without any objection to him whatsoever. He could not just let him leave, and possibly never see him again. "Before you leave," Ryuichi began, getting his attention. "I want to take up on your offer."

 "Offer?" Tatsuha asked with no idea on what he was talking about. Had he said something to him during their celebration and Ryuichi only remembered? 

 Ryuichi gave a giant nod, making Kumagorou do the same as him in unison. "Yes," he pointed to Tatsuha cutely, trying to break the large amount of tension. "You said that we should go to the zoo again, dressed just like we did before. In addition, you said we could go out for ice cream. I accept!"

  "I did not," Tatsuha pointed out negatively, "I said that we could probably go out for ice cre—" he cut himself off on purpose before continuing what he was saying, "and then you kissed me before I could finish."

   "Shut up," Ryuichi blushed intensely, not being able to take the fact of being reminded. He knew what Tatsuha meant before he kissed him, so he just said what he knew what he was going to say. "If you don't want to, just say so." With a swift turn of his feet, he turned his back to Tatsuha.

   "I'd love to," he replied with concern. He watched with the same emotion as Ryuichi turned around to face him with a joyful smile, excited to know he agreed. "We will go on Saturday, okay?"

    "Okay!"

    "I can't wait."

 Once Tatsuha reached his house in the quiet town of Kyoto, he could finally think about everything that just happened. To be in Sakuma Ryuichi's own house was like a long-life dream of any fan, and it was much more then what he had expected. In fact, it seemed perfectly normal. It was nothing like the famous star's houses you see on television: large, beautiful, and full of million dollar items that they did not even need. His house seemed so plain and regular, almost like a normal man's household. It was a good size, but nothing too flashy was concealed on the inside of it, except for maybe the few tad-bit items, such as plasma screen televisions, or some furniture. Oh, and his ocean of toys he found in his bedroom as he brought him to his bed the night before. Good thing he cleaned it up a little bit.

The whole house had a scent to it that put himself at ease, made him feel at home. Everything just welcomed him in a weird kind of sense. Nevertheless, to his wonderful home, something seemed missing. 

It was so quiet among his commorancy. For being rich, handsome, and famous, he sure lacked camaraderie within his walls. After lying himself on the couch, he noticed how empty it looked and how it seemed to never have had someone unknown there before. The thought of Ryuichi having hardly any friends was almost unbelievable, but it seemed almost that way. Was Ryuichi always that alone?

 "Tatsuha-kun," the normal, dulcet female voice that always called to him was surprisingly downcast and troubled. Miyu must have been wondering where her _fiancé _went for the entire night after finding out about their engagement, and not returning until the morning.

  "Don't talk to me," he retorted to her, not being able to stand her face at all. He took out a piece of paper, threw in on the floor and stomped his way into the kitchen. "Just take this and leave."

Miyu wanted to break down and cry at his actions, not knowing what she had done wrong. Did he not understand what she meant to him? He really did not care for her feelings. With a small howl, she picked up the paper he tossed, unknowing of what it was and looked at it. Now of seeing what was written, she let out a pegh. 

The autograph of her idol, Sakuma Ryuichi was actually in her very own hands. The very essence of the man could still be felt on the composition, making her want to faint. "Tatsuha," she panted with little talk, knowing he told her not to talk to him. She could not be obedient to his demand of her to leave after he had given her this, remembering her request. Through all that exterior of the boy who said he could care less about the feelings of the women he gets in bed with, there always was a sweet, endearing man who would do anything for a loved one. Maybe he did care about her feelings. 

   "Why did you get this for me?" she asked, reaching the kitchen to look at the boy, drinking straight from a whole milk carton.

     "I don't know," Tatsuha lied plainly. "It seemed like a nice thought at the time."

Miyu sulked down, still wondering about one thing, "where were you all last night?" 

     "Out."

     "Out where?" Miyu started to raise her voice, not wanting to make things that difficult. She was just worried about him, after all. Her teeth started to grind on pure instinct once her desired beaux put the carton in the refrigerator, shut it, and walked right passed her. "This is all because of our engagement, isn't it?" her voice was now sour and low. By the sudden stop of his footsteps, she knew that made him pause, signaling that she was right. Miyu did not dare look at him in the eyes, knowing she would only be rejected.

     "Yes," Tatsuha responded flatly, caring nothing of what she felt and continued to walk towards his room, "it is."

 Miyu looked down at her small, white socks tucked on her feet, squirming them in her own nervousness. To hear what she just heard was almost unbearable for her to hold her tears. Never did she want to know how mad Tatsuha would be to know how much she felt for him. "Why?" she began, "why are you so upset about it?"

     "We're cousins," Tatsuha stopped his beating feet once more to inform her how he felt, "it's just wrong."

   "So it's wrong that I love you?" Miyu stomped her left foot, letting a teardrop fall from her sweet eyes. She ran over to him, facing him with a cruel, hurt face. "Besides, we are only distant cousins by marriage! We aren't even really related, Tatsuha-kun!"  
 Tatsuha looked down at her face, feeling like someone had shot him right through the heart three times. He really did worry her. It was strange for him to know someone was actually caring for him that much, "Miyu, you know how much I hate getting tangled up with possessive women."

 "I won't be!" she shrieked, grabbing onto his arm, drenching it with her tears. "I love you Tatsuha-kun, and I thought you knew and understood that. I just want to be with you forever, to love your more and more each day! Is there something wrong with that?"

Tatsuha could feel his whole body turn into ice for a second, but to be replaced with a roaring flame. He jerked his arm away from the crying, adoring girl before him. He looked at the girl's flooding eyes and the shock he saw go through her whole, entire body at his actions. "There is something wrong with that," he replied harshly, brisk heat in his breaths. He ignored her aggressive shakes of her head, and her curling of her bottom lip. "I do not, and will never love you in that sense. It will be pointless for me to marry someone I feel nothing for, causing myself to act something out that I am not."

"You already do," she screamed at him, making him stop his entire speech. The tears and constant hiccups did not stop her from telling him how she felt. "Don't come to me, preaching on about being something you are not, Tatsuha-kun. Because of all people, that is exactly what you do daily. You spend your time with women, _pretending_ to be their lover and boyfriend, when you are not. Your whole entire life is a lie." Her voice became soft and emotional once more, "I just want to be help you become something much better."

As her hands started to progress to Tatsuha's face, possibly to caress his face, they were slapped away with a sharp force of Tatsuha's hand. His eyes gave her the coldest, gimlet look possible. "Don't you fucking act like you know everything about me. You act as if you know too much about me, but you know nothing."

   "Tatsuha-kun," she whimpered, cradling her now red hand. The tears stained her blue jeans and sent out a salty aroma between the two of them. "Why do you hate me?"

"I don't," Tatsuha defended himself from being a total asshole. He already felt like one already after all he had said and done to her. "I just don't love you, Miyu. I'm sorry."

She sniffed quickly, whipping away her tears with her long sleeve, feeling like a total baby. "I'm sorry, too." She chocked, feeling a large lump in her throat. Once more, she would have to lie to Tatsuha. She was not sorry for what she said, but honest. Her love for him was eternal and she would never let it die, for it seemed impossible. To be this close to him, as friends and have sexual contact every night was enough for her at the remaining moment. The engagement was not to be called off, for his father would forbid it. The only way to accomplish this was to **make** him love her, and she was more than happy to do so.

 She knew Tatsuha would be hers eventually. 

   "Time off?" Tohma's eyes focused on his male band mate, wondering why he would suddenly ask about time off.

 Ryuichi had Kumagorou in his arms, waving him around. For Ryuichi, it was appropriate for him to come all the way to Tohma's house to ask for such a small thing. "Yeah," he said, putting on the best puppy-eyed look he could come up with, "only for tomorrow, Tohma-kun. We did well at the concert last night, so I should be able to have an award."

"I'm not saying you can't," Tohma smiled at his premonition of decline. "You may have time off tomorrow, but that means we will have to work on Sunday."

 "Yeah!" he squeaked with revering happiness, glad to know he could attend to the zoo. "I can't wait to go with him," he thought aloud.

 "With him?" Tohma jumped at his sentence, "you are going somewhere on your time off?"

 "Well, yeah," Ryuichi groaned, making it seem like it was the most obvious thing to do on your time off. "Tatsuha-kun and I are going to go to the zoo again."

 Tohma smiled at his jaunty friend and went back to his paper work, glad to see they were not on bad terms anymore. "Again? Man, he is full of ideas."

"We are going to wear our costumes again, too!" 

 "Like I said, 'he is full of ideas'."

  Friday came a little too quick for some, and for others it seemed like an eternity. Tatsuha could hardly hold in all of his excitement, thinking about all of the activities he and Ryuichi would do at the zoo, all the time they would spend together. They may also be able to go and see a movie together!

 "I'm leaving," Tatsuha said to the solemn house, hoping his father would hear him. After receiving nothing in return, he shrugged and opened to door with an ostentatious smile. However, that smile faded from surprise after he saw someone outside of the door that he did not expect.

 "Tatsuha-kun," the individual greeted. 

 Children ran about the zoo, screaming and cheerful about seeing the many animals. The exotic calls from the wild birds could be heard not too far away and the scenery was a good touch for the atmosphere. Cages holding animals were placed all over the park in their own destinations, along with the many gift shops. Nevertheless, Tatsuha was far away from the wilderness.

   "Hurry up," he snarled as he waited outside of one of the public bathrooms. His attitude seemed more or less of anger and vexation. One of his hands rubbed against his raven hair, causing it to spread across his face and his mysterious, attracting eyes. Looking down at his attire, he was only wearing normal every-day clothes, deciding not to wear his bear costume. Although he felt full of regret, he sighed and thought that maybe it was for the better. 

 "What are you doing?" asked a paltry voice next to him, having a large hint of curiosity flowing from it.

 Tatsuha recognized that voice and blushed, thinking about how stupid he must have looked standing outside the bathroom, waiting for _something_. "Sakuma-san," he yelped, surprised to see him there already, waiting for him with his bunny costume in hand. 

"Ryuichi," the man curled up his lip, making it noticeable that he wanted to be called that very name. After getting that point across to the younger man, he scanned his outfit, "why are you not wearing your bear suit?"

 Tatsuha stiffened at his peculiar question, eying the bathroom door, hoping that it would stay shut for a hopeful hour or so. "Well," he tried to tell him but all his words come out in mumbles, "there were a few difficulties. I left my outfit in the wash, so I could not bring it." Tatsuha knew his lie would go through to Ryuichi, and put on the best convincing smile.

 "That's too bad," Ryuichi was obviously disappointed in his friend's predicament and placed his costume down. "I won't wear mine either so you won't feel left out." He winked at Tatsuha, failing to see the blush on his face, "what animal do you want to go see first?"

 Just as Tatsuha was about to say the name of a creature, someone twirled out of the bathroom and latched themselves onto his masculine arm, giggling all the while. "I'm sorry I took so long, my makeup would not cooperate with me."

 Tatsuha felt himself go lightheaded at that very moment and wanted to just die. He thought everything today was going to go so well on his date with Ryuichi. He planned everything out, knew all the places that they would go to together, but he did not plan on another member to tag along. "Miyu," he coughed with the most abhorrence in his voice, forcing the girl off his arm. He twisted his neck around to apologize to Ryuichi about the interruption and was a little mind billowed at his facial expression. Ryuichi was staring at Miyu with the most mixed emotions in his eyes. He seemed to have thought her intrusion was a little bit **too** rude, jumping onto Tatsuha and everything, but he was also a little curious on who the woman was. 

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha tried to smooth the confusion down with his voice so he could introduce him to Miyu.

 "Sakuma Ryuichi!?" Miyu's whole body was quickly turned to the vocalist in a small whirlwind, "For real?" her shimmering eyes soon got a lot more sparkling and grew to an enormous size after actually facing him upfront. Her whole face turned a certain crimson color and her knees started to go out on her, "Oh my god, it is really Sakuma-sama."

 With a groan and a roll of his eyes, Tatsuha continued to introduce her. "Ryuichi, this is my dear friend Miyu," he strained out those words of 'dear friend', trying to make himself look good in front of Ryuichi. "She is the person I got your autograph for."

The explanation hit Ryuichi like a hard rock, causing him to give a round lipped pattern, as if to say 'Oh'. After that, he smiled that genuine smile as he always does and waved at Miyu with courtesy, "Hi Miyu."

 "He said my name," Miyu screamed aloud, thinking that this was the best day of her entire life. She got right into his face, talking so fast for even herself. "I can't believe it is really you! You are my idol, Sakuma-sama. I want to grow up and be a great singer, just like you someday. I have every CD that you have every sold out, even the ones from America when you went solo. Even though I cannot understand them, they are so beautiful. You are so wonderful." 

"Thanks," Ryuichi chirped, getting excited from all the praise he was getting. "I work hard a lot and I am glad my work pays off. Which reminds me, I have to go to work tomorrow!" he started to pout, biting down on his sleeve, tears forming in his eyes.

 Miyu giggled, "You are so cute, Sakuma-sama! I thought you would be really cold and serious, just like the way you act on stage or something."

 "How do you know Tatsuha-kun?" Ryuichi quickly changed the subject and going into deeper water. The both of them did not even notice the gasp from the boy behind them, knowing exactly what Miyu would say.

 "Me?" Miyu chortled, pulling her hair back with charisma. "What about you? How do you know him?"

Tatsuha froze, not believing what he just heard. Miyu actually did not bring up anything about an engagement between them, avoiding it completely. He actually wanted to go up and kiss her for that very thing. 

 "We are friends from awhile back," he confirmed her. 

"So are we," Miyu was surprised to know the exact same relationship the two had with the same person. Enthusiastic, she tugged on his small hand and started to walk towards the caged animals, "Let's go and talk some more!" 

Ryuichi, childish as always, smiled delightfully at his newfound friend and gave a quick nod in reply. He turned his head quickly to face his other friend, "come on Tatsuha!"

"What am I," Tatsuha questioned to himself, following the two, "a dog?"

 "It is kind of hard really," Miyu watched one of the tigers walk over and lie down in the shade of a tree inside its exhibit. Ryuichi was squirming around in his shoes as he watched the animals, eating his ice cream cone. He made a slight pause after she spoke, turning his head to her. She spoke of something when there was no conversation before that, as if trying to get on a subject.

  "What is?"

Lowering her head to take a drink from the straw stuck in her soda, she tried to cover up any emotion on her face before telling him, "To want to be with someone that does not love you," she tried to say with a normal tone but it came out rather flat.

"Oh," Ryuichi had nothing really to say in response, not wanting to make anything worse, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Miyu rested her chin in her smooth palm, watching the two tiger mates snuggle their muzzles together. "It must be nice though. Being with the person you love most, having them feel the exact same for you. It makes me sad to know I will never have that in the sense that I want it to be. In a way, I want to cry about it," almost on cue, she brought her hand to wipe a small tear forming in her eye. Instead of bawling as any other girl would, she just smiled. "Look at me, crying in front of Sakuma Ryuichi."

Ryuichi started to see red, knowing he was panicking in a way of not knowing what to do or say to her. He has never really been in love, or had someone not love him back when he felt it for him or her. Looking behind him, he saw Tatsuha leaning over a rail with his arms, looking at the panda exhibit. "I'll be right back," Ryuichi informed her with a pat on her shoulders and walked over to Tatsuha, standing next to him. Saying nothing to the younger man, he noticed he was also not looking at him. Ryuichi just started to act natural, as if he had been there for the past twenty minutes.

"Hi," Tatsuha spoke up without even giving him a glance. The pandas must have been much more interested than Ryuichi now.

"Tatsuha-kun," he began, licking the sweetness from the cone. "I hope Amori-chan will be okay," he addressed Miyu by her family name only, making Tatsuha remember the distance between relativity they really are.

"She is a tough girl," an arrogant remark from the younger male's lips.

"Yeah," Ryuichi mused the fact, taking note of her somewhat tomboy attitude, despite her elegant beauty. "But dealing with what she is dealing with is hard for anyone. You know, not receiving love from someone you give to."

Tatsuha took interest from that quote, looking at a little nervous. He decided to put the pandas on hold and put his full attention to the beautiful male before him, "Really? Is that all she told you?"

 "It is," Ryuichi leaned against the rail just as Tatsuha was, "I feel sorry for her. I have never really loved someone, so I can just imagine how much her heart is aching. It must make life pretty worthless." 

Tatsuha grunted at all the talk of how Miyu must feel, and letting his emotions subside. "It is not always just about just one person's feelings," he tried to explain while keeping his voice from yelling to not make it obvious, "the other person has feelings about it too, I am sure. He might not love her; in fact, he might just like someone else. Imagine how he must feel, trying to be forced to love someone when his heart is captured by another," feeling proud of himself, he stuck out his chest.

"True," Ryuichi countered, "then that person should really straighten things out so all the feuding would end. I mean, he should go and tell Miyu whom he loves and then go and explain everything, along with confessing his feelings for that person."

Once again, the pandas seemed more interesting than Ryuichi to Tatsuha. Turning his head to the black and white bears, he found himself in a bind. How could he tell Miyu and Ryuichi everything without confusion and more feuding? Miyu would understand his feelings for Ryuichi; Tatsuha had had a fascination on the man for years now. However, would she let him go? Probably not. Nevertheless, there was also Ryuichi. How would he take it to find out that the man Miyu was talking about was indeed Tatsuha Himself? Double the delight to know he could not love Miyu because he wanted him instead.

"Kiss me," Ryuichi's words came out swift and nervously. His shoes were kicking the ground in embarrassment, and his face was beet red. Trying to avoid eye contact with Tatsuha was almost impossible now.

 "I can't," Tatsuha swallowed hard, looking behind him at the girl who was looking at the tigers still. Tatsuha may be eager to sweep Ryuichi off his feet and lock lips with him anytime; however, he has a lot more consideration than to do it in front of Miyu, especially when he knows the consequences. 

 "Please?" Ryuichi started to plead, turning to Tatsuha and tugging at his blue shirt. To be that desperate for a kiss must have been bugging him ever since he came to the zoo and saw the monk. "Is it because we are out in public or something? No one will care," need started to fill his eyes, along with a few forming salty tears. Tugging harder and harder at his shirt was starting agitate Tatsuha but also made him want to kiss Ryuichi more as he begged for his lips on his own. 

  "It is not because of that," Tatsuha grabbed a hold of the vocalist's shoulders, making him stop the tugging. Looking into his beautiful eyes made him much weaker to his pleading. He looked over at Miyu once more, "well, it is kind of because of it a little."

 "That did not stop you from kissing me before," Ryuichi reminded him of the night after the concert. "I just want one kiss, even a little one. Ever since you stayed the night at my house, we haven't kissed or anything."

 "So?"

 "I miss it," cooing softly, Ryuichi took his curled fingers off of Tatsuha's shirt and got to his tiptoes, bringing himself to good height with Tatsuha. Without any more hesitation, Ryuichi leaned in to bring his sweet, small lips to Tatsuha's hard, yet smooth ones. Closing his eyes, Tatsuha kept his to full alert but only to Ryuichi's face, which would make motions of pure ecstasy. Pulling Ryuichi close made their bodies tremble for a short second before conjoining them in warm heat. All the while, Tatsuha took his hands of his shoulders and gradually started brining them down to his sides, tickling vibrations with his fingertips amongst his skin. 

It was true; no one really seemed to care for the two kissing. They would either try to ignore, or just leave them be, walking right pass them. As long as Ryuichi kept digging deeper into their kiss, Tatsuha was truly ethereal. 

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha groaned after the kiss was broken up between the two and they just stood, looking at one another. 

Ryuichi seemed a little bashful for the first few minutes after their kiss, but soon smiled at him as if he forgot the whole thing completely, "let's go see the _capybaras_," he giggled enthusiastically, reminding me of our first visit here together. After Tatsuha gave a small nod and a smile, they both started to walk off with much conversation, "Come on Amori-chan!" Ryuichi hollered back to the girl.

The girl who was at the tiger exhibit, drinking her soda and thinking out her problems was not even there to hear Ryuichi's callings. 

 She was already gone.

   **END**

  It is so short! MWAHAHA! The next chapter is going to be posted on **April 1st**, Ryuichi's birthday. Guess why everyone. So, make sure to check it out on that date.

 I have such a bad cold, so I warned you. *looks at reviews* Oh… my… God…. I have two pages worth of reviews? HOLY SHIT!!! *dances for joy* How about five people? Hah.

Also, just to clear some possible confusion. **I am a male.** Scary, huh? I bet everyone thought I was a girl. Thanks everyone! *cries* 

 **Nittle Grasper Wonder: **What about this one? Pretty good? Thank you for the compliment on my ending. I actually did not want it to end like that. *laughs* 

 **Queen of Vegetasei: **Yeah, I think I kind of hit Ryuichi right on the head to where I can get him into character enough. I do not like the too serious, or the too jaunty Ryuichi's in most fics. In addition, in some regions of the world, you can marry a cousin if you are very distant. Parents sometime suit their children up if they think they would be in good 'standards', such a health, money and what-not. On the other hand, so I have been told… I do not know. Pull an Eiri? *laughs* Tatsuha probably would. I am sorry, but the whole autobiography thing keep making me laugh. I can just see Tatsuha typing away, smoking a cigarette and getting annoyed at the cheerful Ryuichi hopping around. "Baka."

 **Cherry-Wolf: ***soaks n the bowing* Ego... getting too large. Heh, anyways, I am also glad they made up. And of course it is going to be Tatsuha/Ryuichi, I made them kiss again! Next time... Hanky panky!! Actually, not so sure. Oh jezz, Tatsuha gets all the fan girls? Where are MY fan girls? *laughs* Thank you for enjoying the kissing conversation, it was a conversation that actually happened in my real life. And yeah, teasing does get people no where, as it did with someone I know. You are adding this to your favorites? I feel so damn loved anymore, I thank you! Also, I love your Tatsuha fanfic, It is so good so far. In addition, Miyu just might steal the title from Ryuichi, so just keep tuned.

**Ichigo****: **Someone is a horn dog, huh? :P

**Stacy: **It brightens my mood to know that this fanfic can be used for emotional purposes. I am so honored. I am glad that you decided to choose this as the fanfic for your needs. Thank you!

**Woodsie****: **This one was a little bit more surprising, don't you think?

**Beachan18: **Exciting, don't you think? And yeah, there is going to be a lot more problems because of Miyu and the engagement. Hell, I would run away if I was Tatsuha. Jump on that motorcycle and drive away!

**PikuPiku****:** Everyone thought the chapter was adorable. *sweatdrops* You horn dog. Everyone reviewing must be horn dogs, lol. Yeah, kind of obvious it was Miyu. Ryu/Tat, as you say, is on the way.

   Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Please review this chapter and I will love you forever, and my cold will go away.

AH-CHOO!


	7. April Fool's

 My cold is finally gone and I am hyped up to give you this new chapter. Before I continue with anything else, 

it is time to say a Happy Birthday to Sakuma Ryuichi. He would almost be forty this year, I think. However, he is going to be thirty-two in my story. Alas, Tatsuha would be seventeen right now in my story. I had to clear up that mess-up.

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 7**

   Tatsuha watched, as Nittle Grasper's vocalist would chummily run about the zoo, pointing at each animal for him to see before dashing to the next exhibit. He would slowly tag along, hoping the day would never end. Watching a jaunty, little Ryuichi be mesmerized by animals of all kinds was much more than adorable in his raven eyes and made him giggle from time-to-time. Trying to catch up with his companion, he stopped abruptly once he felt a soft, almost unnoticeable pressure upon his head. Curious, he brought his hand up to swat at whatever it was but his hand encountered a thin, small material that he brought to viewing angle.

   A cherry blossom. The small petal just stared up at the boy with its nonexistent eyes, being as sweet as it could. Tatsuha let the petal slip from his fingers and fall to the cement sidewalk. He had almost forgotten it was spring and that April was tomorrow. The cherry trees were already blooming, letting loose the millions of petals amongst the wind and gather on the floor. Waves of pink and white spread across the ground, making it seem like an ocean you could be swept away in. Cherry blossoms were so soft and smooth, just like a person's lips.

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha whispered, thinking of the man's very buss.

"What?" the man asked surprised to hear his name. He obviously had been standing by Tatsuha for a while now without him knowing.

"Ryuichi!" jumping in shock, Tatsuha could only say the name of the very man who caught him whispering.

 "_What_?" he asked again, getting a little annoyed of his behavior and asking the same question. 

Not knowing what to say in response, Tatsuha's eyes averted to the first thing possible: cherry blossoms, "I was just thinking about how it is spring. All the cherry trees are blooming and everything, also the fact that tomorrow is April!"

"Yeah," something seemed to trigger inside of the older male, making him beam like a Cheshire Cat. "My birthday, too!" his eyes gave a mischievous sparkle before giving Tatsuha a wild look, "were you thinking about my birthday?" he poked at why he was saying his name for no reason.

Tomorrow was Ryuichi's birthday. He did not even know that, or he could have just forgotten. However, how could he have forgotten something so miraculous about Ryuichi? Fe felt like a total idiot for not knowing, but it was his only way to get out of this bind. 

 "Yeah, I was."

     "I wonder where Amori-chan went to," excogitated the vocalist about the missing member of their group. Glancing at the boy who knew Miyu more, he saw him give a shrug with a most sympathetic look, as if he knew where she went. 

He and Tatsuha had already left the zoo and where headed into the much busy streets of Shibuya. Stores dominated this side of Tokyo, and fashion was everywhere. Ryuichi may have fitted in with the crowd, his stylish demeanor of his, making him look like one of the examples on display of a store. Tatsuha, however, dressed more like a mysterious, plain American. Women found that trait attractive about him, but in this side of town, he preferred to scan around at the sights. The females were very beautiful and risqué, Tatsuha could not help but give them some kind of signal with his eyes every once and awhile, receiving giggles in return.

 "Pretty," Ryuichi glimmered with his face stuck to a store window. Viewing a black, tight shirt outside of a clothes shop, he seemed inseparable to its power. Tatsuha noticed his distinct behavior and walked right over to him.

 "Do you like that shirt?" Tatsuha asked, watching the man not leave his spot. Thinking of something clever, he smiled brightly, "Let's go in and buy it." 

Hesitating, Ryuichi brought his head to a complete hake in decline. "I'd rather not," he suggested.

"Why not?"

"I hate going into stores," Ryuichi explained to the taller male, "I hate getting flooded by workers, telling me to try something on to get a pretty penny and they never leave me alone."

Tatsuha laughed quietly at his odd explanation, "How do you ever get the clothes you have?"

"Wardrobe designer gets them for me!" he squealed with much excitement, "Other than that, I get my normal day clothes by having someone else go out and get them for Me." Without another word, he turned back to look at the black shirt with a look of possession. "I want that shirt so bad."

Looking at his deep eyes full on enchantment and wonder at the physical object before him would captivate anyone who saw him, making them think of it as a child pointing out his favorite truck in a toy store. Something about that very thought seemed delightful and cute that it made is so loveable about his own actions. In a parent's shoes, they would always fall for that charm of a child and its constant gazing ability for the thing they desire. 

  "You said your birthday was tomorrow, didn't you?" In this case, Tatsuha was the role of the parent.

 "Twenty, forty, forty-five," Tatsuha was searching through his wallet, counting the money he had last gotten from his father. Of course, he had to come home to get his wallet. Leaving Ryuichi almost put a knot deep inside his heart because their goodbyes seemed so short, with just saying their farewells so quickly and just walking away from each other as if they were only acquaintances. He knew this was sure to change _something_.  He grinned after finding another ten dollars, "Fifty-five dollars and thirty cents!" he said aloud the amount he carried.

Exiting his room and into the main section of his house, he noticed how voiceless it was. Even the usual creaking and boiling of water in the kitchen were gone. He stopped about every five steps to see if the sounds he was so familiar with around the house would suddenly start up again. However, he could not avoid the fact that no one was home. He half enjoyed the fact of being alone and not being caught before going out and blowing so much money, but he was also half dispirited and out of place. Suspecting to see an everyday figure of Miyu, his so-called _fiancé. _His memory had been so attached to the fact of seeing her at his home every day, every time he was here. It made him wonder why she was not here now. She was always at his home, almost as if she lived there, but something was just wrong today. In a way, he thought he knew the reason.

"I'm off," he said to the empty house before slowly shutting the door and leaving the omnipresent commonalty.

 Reaching the designated place of Shibuya, Tatsuha found the exact store he and Ryuichi were standing by for at least five minutes. Inside the window, the display of clothes was hung and the black attire shirt Ryuichi wanted was still there. With a happy grin of victory, Tatsuha dashed inside the store. Large amounts of clothes were neatly and orderly hung about and on round hangers. The outlet had a large amount of elegance to it and was obviously a to-notch store. Strangely enough, the vulture like workers did not even walk over to Tatsuha but merely just gave him a look and a greeting smile. 

 Daring not to ask the women of where the shirt he was looking for may be, he decided to look for it on his own. Either way, all the clothes seemed so flashy and alike. Searching through the sizes he thought Ryuichi might wear, he took note of the outrageous prices on each shirt. It seemed so funny to pay that much for something so little to put on the man's small, lean body.

 "Who would pay this much?" Tatsuha mused at shirts ranging from one hundred to three hundred dollars. 

 "Do you need help, sir?" one of the clerk workers asked him, walking straight up to him. Her hair was braided several times in the same repetitive pattern and her face was cloaked in colors of makeup. Her body was strapped down by beautiful, white attire and her scent was to die for. Once she got to Tatsuha, she noticed his handsome looks and build, quickly batting her eyes as if they she was a big piece of bait for him to eat, "hello."

 "Uh," Tatsuha chocked at her sudden presence, "Yeah. I am looking fro the exact shirt you are displaying. The black one," he started to point out to her.

 "Oh yes," she chewed on her gum with a smile, letting her hair flow around her shoulders. "That shirt is a big seller and is right over here," she pointed to the rack right next to the one Tatsuha had been searching in. 

 "T-Thanks," embarrassed of not have seeing it before, he quickly averted to the rack of clothes and started to look through the shirts, looking for a perfect size for Ryuichi. Pausing for a moment, he felt a warm sensation covering the back of his neck and turned his head to see what it was. Startled enough already, he caught eyes with the worker at his eyelevel, looked over his shoulder.

 "I'm sorry," she chuckled at his edginess. "I was just thinking of how much the shirt would look magnificent on you, sir."

Tatsuha obviously knew that she was flirting with him, as he had come around many women of all kinds that have done the exact same thing to him before. Sighing with the most dignity, he admitted to his own self and her, "It isn't going to be for me." He grabbed one of the shirts, thinking it would fit Ryuichi and walked to the checkout, where the same worker followed and got behind the register.

 "I see," she said, grabbing the shirt and holding it up, looking at its surpassingly small size. "Is it for your mom or something?"

Seeing as the shirt was in the men's section, Tatsuha was baffled at her question and felt like grabbing her form over the desk. Knowing that she only did not want to think of Tatsuha as a person who is getting it for a lover, thinking he may be getting it for a girlfriend or possibly, god forbid, a _boyfriend._ He knew that if she knew he was homosexual or even bisexual would ruin her dreams. Therefore, she used a front protection and hoped for the best. "It's for a friend of mine. It is his birthday tomorrow."

 "**His**?" she questioned his statement, relieved to know he was single. She could not see Tatsuha as a gay man, anyway. Looking back at the shirt, her mouth started to open with surprise, "meaning this is for a guy? Wow, even I wish I was this small."

 "How much is it?" Tatsuha smiled, trying to cover up and signs of his impatient attitude towards the woman.

 "Let's see," the flirtatious girl mumbled to her own self and brought the price tag to the scanner and the price came up onto the small screen, leaving Tatsuha speechless. "That will be one hundred and seventy dollars, and twenty-five cents."

 "But I only have fifty-five dollars and thirty cents!" Tatsuha whimpered to himself, knowing that his birthday gift to Ryuichi was now ruined. Defeated with loss, he turned to leave the store.

 "Hey," the clerk spoke to make him stop in his tracks. After he turned around to her call, her eyes sparkled and her red lips curved into a large smile, "how about a date sometime? You know, since your misfortunate with this shirt and all, I could buy you a drink sometime or something."

 "I'll think about it," he spoke almost inaudibly, but loud enough for the women to hear. It was clear enough to see that now matter what happens, Tatsuha would never change when it comes to beautiful women.

Unknowingly, the clerk suddenly burst with excitement and happiness. Unbelievably, she may actually get a date with him! Giggling and giddy, she forgot to tell him something important, "My name is Kyoko."

 "I am Tatsuha," he said, looking back at her with a genuine, 'girl melting' smile. Kyoko felt her heart skip a few beats at just the very thought of the beautiful ring to his name and watched him walk out of the store doors. At that moment, she knew she should have given him a discount.

"You know what tomorrow is?" Noriko trotted into the main room of Ryuichi's house, wearing a beautiful tank top and usual shorts. She directed her eyes to the small, playful man sitting on the carpet, playing with a toy car.

"I can just imagine," Ryuichi smiled up at her, trying to sound sarcastically cute. Taking Kumagorou who was sitting at his side, he placed him on the toy car and started to drive him around the soft carpet. "Let me guess, my birthday, right?"

Noriko looked at him with baffled amusement and an arrogant glance, "_What are you talking about_? April Fool's Day is tomorrow, Ryu-chan."

"Huh?" the toy car rolled out of the man's grasp and skidded across the floor, throwing Kumagorou off and hurling onto the floor. The small, beautiful eyes met with Noriko's risqué ones. "And my birthday, too," whimpered Ryuichi.

"I know that," she gave in, laughing at the sudden puppy look Ryuichi gave her, hoping that she did not really forget about his birthday. Noriko walked passed Ryuichi to pick up the toy car he had accidentally let go of and she started to fumble with its tiny tires, seating herself on his large couch. "What do you want anyway?"

"Hold on," came a smoothing voice from the other room. Tohma came around the corner and placed himself next to Noriko, dusting off his shirt. "I have **got** to hear this. After last year's list, this one has to be brilliant."

"Oh Tohma," Noriko playfully swatted at her blonde friend's pant leg, pretending to not even notice Ryuichi was there. In fact, she and Tohma both just started to have a little conversation for Ryuichi to hear, hoping he would get agitated. "It wasn't that bad last year. He only asked for a pool."

Tohma shook his index finger at Noriko's face, playing along with her get-up. "No, no. He directly said he wanted Shamu the whale and a pool to put him in outside." After he finished that sentence, the two looked at each other with faces almost to burst out in laughter. Ryuichi truly did ask for impossible things.

Ryuichi, however, did not understand that his friends were poking jokes at him and shined with excitement, "No way! You guys actually got me Shamu the whale this year?"

"Ryuichi," Tohma smiled sincerely at his friend, "We did not get you Shamu, and we were just kidding."

The raised eyebrow he gave both Noriko and Tohma was a sure sign that he still did not get it, "so you just got me a pool?"

"I swear Ryu-chan," Noriko giggled underneath her breath, leaning far back into the comfort of the couch. "You ask for the most outrageous things. Where did you even get this fascination with Shamu?"

 "When I was in America!" Ryuichi seemed to sparkle, brightening up like the morning sun. "K took me to this _big_ place that had a lot of animals that swam. It was like a zoo, but not like a zoo." Noriko and Tohma were slightly confused at Ryuichi's explanation of things but just smiled and gave a nod at each step of the way. After all, through the years they had been with Ryuichi, they learned the proper way. "And so, there was this gigantic swimming pool tank, and there were huge black and white whales were in there!"

 "Orcas?" Tohma asked, purposively he knew what kind of animal Ryuichi was talking about. By the look Ryuichi gave him, he did not what that meant. "Killer whales," Tohma continued, "that is the kind of whales you are talking about Ryuichi."

 "Oh," Ryuichi stammered and got right back to his story, "anyways, the Orcas were all swimming around and this swimmer lady was in there with them! She got ride on their back and even made them do tricks like jump out of the water! K and I got splashed because of the Orcas once and then K got mad but I thought it was fun!" Ryuichi smiled, using his hands and body as demonstrations, such as the whales jumping out of the water and K getting pissed. He grinned happily, "After we left, I decided that I wanted a Shamu in my own pool to swim on its back and do tricks with. That way, we can go to the beach and swim away, doing tricks for the people on the beach and have fun." 

 "…" two pairs of hands started to give a small, quiet applause with the most unbelievable two faces staring at him. 

 "I thought you may have had a good reason," Noriko sighed, wondering when his childish antics would end for good.

 "This year," he stated, getting the attention of both band mates, "I want a shirt."

 "A shirt..?" Tohma and Noriko said in complete unison. They did not expect something so **small** and **inexpensive** after hearing his huge speech about some fat whale.

 "Yeah, I saw the shirt in Shibuya when Tatsuha-kun and I left the zoo," Ryuichi tried to tell them directly where he found the shirt, hoping they would go to Shibuya tonight. "It was this black one out on display."

 "Looks like you may get something other than candy this year," Tohma chuckled, happy to know they would be able to get something for Ryuichi that is in reach this year. 

 "Yay!" Ryuichi squealed in delight, turning both wrists to a hurling upward motion.

"So you could not buy him the shirt," a deep, yet smoothing tone of voice questioned. The blonde-haired person took of his glasses that he wore to read periodically and turned away from his laptop computer, facing his sibling, whom found himself much more comfortable by sitting on the ground, the bottoms of his feet touching each other. "So what? Are you that much of a fan-boy to go to such bizarre lengths? Buy him something spend able and refine, like an earring."

The other man who seemed almost identical to the other except for his dark, black hair, sighed, bringing his right hand to his mouth and slapping it down to his lips. With a swift swoosh of his legs; he curled up his bottom lip. "He already has many to go through. I cannot believe I blew this one off after he told me how much he wanted the shirt! His birthday is only so many hours away and I have nothing for him." 

Hearing his babbling distress for much more than what was needed, Yuki let out a long groan before turning to his computer again. His bare feet skipped across the rug, tickling his senses. Reaching for his reading glasses, he mumbled out with a cupped fist to his mouth, "and why the hell did you come over to brag it out on me?"

 "Oh about that," Tatsuha's voice almost seemed childish behind that testosterone filled voice; it was innocent, curious, and hopeful. Only a small child would make that kind of sound in its voice and only for a plea. He certainly had his elder brother's attention, "I was wondering if you could just lend me a few dollars to buy the shirt." Tatsuha whole body seemed to stiffen up as if he was a dog about to be beat, waiting for his brother's remark. The outcome could never be good.

 "_Hell_ no," Yuki snapped quickly with a completely normal, every day tone. 

 "Aniki!" steam seemed to spurt from Tatsuha's ears, but his face seemed to turn to a large melancholy motion as he pouted at Yuki. Trying to pull back the urge of punching his fists on the ground and whining like a three year old, he would only complain. "It would only be fifty dollars, Eiri. You are big and rich enough to spare a few dollars with your own, little brother."

The typing and silence were endless.

 "I see how it is," Tatsuha let out a small snarl at his never defeated brother before jolting to his feet and walking out of the room.  He shut the door to his brother's workroom and just leaned against the hardwood door, wondering of what he was going to do for Ryuichi now. He had no way of getting him the only thing he actually knew of that he wanted, and everything else in reach seemed to plain. He would probably already have the item he would bestow him. Hearing the clattering of spoons and pans was in the not-to distant kitchen where Shuichi was gathering up all sorts of vegetables and meat to try his best as making a stew. Whether knew if Tatsuha was there or not at the moment did not really matter to him, but then, he turned to smile brightly at him.

"You can sit down if you want," he graciously offered between cuts of celery. He put the chopped sticks into a large pan and straightened out his wrinkled, yellow apron. 

For almost a year now, has Tatsuha just gazed at his brother's beau and admired his distinct resemblance to the one and only Sakuma Ryuichi. Even now, he could see the similarities and differences that bring the two in a head on clash that makes the almost twins. However, they had more differences than similarities then what most people realize, and Tatsuha just now noticed this. Sure, they both have a great body build and great voices when it comes to signing, but their faces surely do not look that much alike up-close as people say. Ryuichi's hair was much longer, the back hanging to his shoulders. They were so alike yet they both almost seemed to yearn for individuality that hardly anyone recognized between the two.

Taking a seat on the couch, Tatsuha's eyes never drifted far from Shuichi. Watching him move back and forth to get the food and put it in the pot, swaying his hips and moving his lean legs that fit tightly in those shorts of his was almost taunting to Tatsuha. He could only think that Ryuichi would look the same way while cooking up some meal. Having a man such as Ryuichi do the same process as Shuichi was doing now would make Tatsuha never go hungry again!

"Ow!" a rather intruding scream came from the pink haired Bad Luck singer, shooting off Tatsuha's thoughts. Whimpering softly, he instantly and quickly put his finger in his mouth, coating it with saliva. 

 "What's wrong?" Tatsuha asked out of pure curiosity as he walked over to him, entering the kitchen. Seeing the stance he was in, he could only think he must have cut himself as he periodically does. However, Shuichi looked up at him with swamped eyes and brought his finger out of his mouth, showing him the now red finger. 

   "I accidentally touched the pot," he cried. 

Tatsuha examined his small index finger and could only come to the fact that it was a small heat burn. It was nothing to worry about and the pain would simply just go away in a few hours. Feeling obligated to make him feel better; Tatsuha quickly brought his finger close to his face and gave it a small peck with his lips. The warm heat from the burn tickled his lips after he let go of his hand and looked down at him, "There you go. All better." Saying that small quote made him feel like a father treating his child's small wounds. Nevertheless, Shuichi surely acted like the kiss did make it feel better and got right back to working on the stew.

Tatsuha only wondered if Ryuichi's fingers would be that soft.

   "Tatsuha, Tatsuha," a sweet, melodic voice repeatedly called into his ears. This wonderful voice poured like fresh rain and sounded bitter sweet like honey. The voice called once more, letting out its beautiful song. It was so smooth and feminine. 

"Ryuichi," Tatsuha breathed through dry lips. The voice sounded a little like the one of the name he spoke of and made him come to consciousness. Opening his eyes, he found himself on a couch inside his brother's own house. Had he fallen asleep? That must have been the answer because a blanket was on top of him, which was probably put on his body by Shuichi. Scanning around, he sat up once he saw Shuichi kneeling down to look at him with a smile and his brother standing off behind him, looking at Tatsuha with a not too pleased look. 

"Ryuichi?" asked a confused Shuichi, his hair sliding across his face, over his eyes. He made a double take to see if the man he spoke of was in the house.

"Dreaming about that shirt you could not get him?" Yuki asked with a hidden grin, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

Tatsuha unwrapped the blanket from underneath him and looked at his wrist. He must have taken off his watch at home. Getting to his feet, he looked at Shuichi and his brother with a small red color on his face, "Hey, what time is it?"

"Six thirty," Shuichi informed him. Glancing at the clock, Tatsuha did not realize how much time he spent here. At was already starting to get dark outside.

Putting on his sneakers and absentmindedly searching for his sunglasses, he bumped heads against Shuichi. Quickly knowing of what he had done, she shouted, "Sorry, I was looking straight," He did not even take the time to see the look on his face before finding his sunglasses and walking to the door. Shuichi smelled so nice.

 "Have fun tomorrow," was the last thing Tatsuha allowed his self to hear from inside the room before shutting the door behind him. His brother was such an asshole sometimes and knew just how to get on his nerves. He could not believe that Shuichi wanted to be with him, no matter how cold he was. Now he was only to think about what he should do for tomorrow.

"I'm home," Tatsuha echoed throughout his home in Kyoto. He walked inside the peaceful home and took of his shoes just to go and put on his house shoes. Walking across the hardwood floor, listening to the small cracks and screeches they would make with each step, he noticed the house was as quiet as before. Had his father went on some kind of religious trip without him knowing? By now, his father would have greeted him else wise. Down the hallway, Tatsuha would take small glances at the pictures hung along the wall in a perfect order. Mostly were portraits from years passed. All of them ranged from his father when he was in high school, to Eiri, Mika, and himself when he was still a child.

 "Don't even remember these days," he stopped in front of a wooden framed picture, smiling. 

The rather large picture held memories of the past for the family. His father stood proudly with a rather big smile along his delicate face, looking _a lot_ younger than what he used to be. At his feet, Mika at the age that seemed nineteen was sitting on the ground with a sweet, small grin. Each of her arms was around two smaller boys, one at the age of nine and the younger was three, were sitting on one of her legs each. Eiri, who was sitting on her right leg, was giving the biggest smile you could never imagine him to have now, all the while waving at the camera. Tatsuha had one of his hands on Mika's arm to get his balance and the other lay on his leg. His wide, open smile seemed to brighten up his entire face. 

It almost amazed his own eyes to see how happy they used to be. The picture was true evidence that their family was actually close at one time and that seemed to actually matter. Having enough of the family memories, Tatsuha continued to walk down the hallway, purposely ignoring the last, biggest picture in the hallway of a woman. 

 "What am I going to do?" he yawned after entering his room. Still thinking about Ryuichi's birthday was utterly tiring him. No wonder he fell asleep at his brother's without him knowing. He flipped the light switch on with his index finger to watch his room light up. The lights uncovered a figure inside his room, sitting at his small desk with emerald eyes. With a small, almost univalent jump, Tatsuha growled at the person who obviously trespassed, "What the hell are you doing here?"

 "To talk," Miyu did not even give him a look to greet him into **his** room. 

 "No," Tatsuha corrected, "I mean, what the hell are you doing here as in, how did you get in my room?"

Miyu got off the chair and started to brush out her hair with her fingers, "I have a key to the house, Tatsuha. You must have forgotten, just like you do about me."

 "What are you getting at?" Tatsuha eyed her, feeling the immense heat of anger starting to build up inside his body. Just seeing her anymore triggered something in him to be so mad. 

Miyu chortled to herself, her glossed lips shimmering from the light emitting from the light bulb. Walking up to Tatsuha, she looked up at him with her glowing eyes. Obviously, Tatsuha was not the only one in the room who was angry.  "You know what," she batted her eyes, trying to make Tatsuha get the picture. "You thought I would not notice," she took her palm and wiggled its way up his shirt, and rubbing against his hard, sweaty skin. Heat was coming all off him, making her hand immediately scolding, and she let out a moan from the good warm feeling. Tatsuha did not object to any of this, allowing her other hand to slide up his shirt as well, making invisible marks across his abs. 

 "Notice what?" Tatsuha asked her, wanting to know the answer more than the attention he was getting. His eyes glossed over once he felt her hands travel down to his pelvic area. Letting out a small grunt, he leaned his down to hers, resting his cheek on the top of her head. She was doing all the work to calm his muscles down that had built up the whole day, while he wrapped his arms around her and smelled her sweetness. 

 Her hands suddenly stopped the massaging and caressing as she reached up to touch his face, letting her fingers slide down his soft, smooth features. "This," she whispered loud enough for him to hear, and leaned up to kiss him. Tatsuha fell into the kiss, clutching her hair in his fingers with the most delicacy. Opening her mouth, she let his tongue enter and caress with her own in an endless battle. Miyu moaned in ecstasy as his tongue overlapped with her own, and he had led her to his bed all the while. Miyu fell to the mattress, having Tatsuha on top of her, still kissing in pure passion and lust. The heat was starting to get irritating, almost making their skin feel itchy. He abruptly stopped the kiss to reach the bottom of his shirt and with a fast pace, took it off over his head and threw it on the floor. 

 Miyu rubbed both hands over his sweaty chest, smiling at his strong, built features that she never got enough of. The other girls in their class thought Miyu was a goddess to be in bed with the best-built boy in class. Miyu just saw it as happiness. Tatsuha licked her earlobe before proceeding to kissing her delicate neck,             "I love you, Tatsuha-kun," she smiled with joy. She had practically forgotten what she was mad about, but also knew she had him right where she wanted him.

Tatsuha stopped his deep kisses that were traveling down her body to bring his head up and to look into her eyes. Sweat glistened off his raven hair and down his face, making him look almost like a true man. His eyes looked as they always did with her: lust filled and serious. He always took time to feel the affect of her affectionate words and then right back to what he was doing before, taking off her shirt and licking the area above her breasts. 

 It was just like any other day between them. Miyu almost repeatedly said she loved him, and would settle with no answer at all. To her, this was happiness.

The song of birds filled the morning air, small tweets from thousands of individual birds calling to one another. Folding and blowing from the curtains made an almost riveting, flowing noise. Cool breeze crept into the room from the open window, feeling it with a fresh smell and feel. Grumbling was heard distantly from the bed, where two were people asleep. Tatsuha was spread out in his bed, his face almost covered by his pillow. Miyu, who was cuddled up against him, was breathing quietly. 

 "Oh man," Tatsuha mumbled as his eyes were exposed to the bright rays of sunlight coming in from the window. Yawning, he looked at the girl against him. Once he took in the whole situation, he jerked away from her. '_What am I doing?_' he thought, '_I have Ryuichi's birthday to worry about and I was having sex with Miyu instead? What is wrong with me!?_' scurrying out of bed, he grabbed his nearby boxers and put them on.

 "What are you doing?" Miyu tiredly asked him, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. All of the movement woke her from slumber. 

Tatsuha started to search around his room after putting on his boxers, looking around for his other clothes. Almost instantly, he spotted his shirt on the floor and grabbed it. Looking left and right, he finally looked up, "Miyu, where are my pants?"

Miyu was already snapping on her bra and grabbing her panties from the floor. With a wistful smile and an arrogant look in her eyes, she said, "What am I? Your pants' keeper?"

 "God damn it, Miyu!" Tatsuha screeched as he ran over and shut his window. Spring brought many small breezes, but some were strong enough to pull cherry blossoms of the trees. Moreover, the breezes took advantage of this by blowing cherry blossoms into Tatsuha's window, and right onto his floor. "Do you know what season it is?" he quizzed her grumpily.

Miyu rolled her eyes sarcastically, "Yes, Spring."

 "You got blossoms all over my floor, Miyu!" Tatsuha whined childishly, bending down to pick all of them up to throw out later.

"I was hot!" she whined back at him, almost mockingly. Grabbing the last piece of her clothing, she stood up to put it on. "Anyways, you should have felt how hot it was under those covers with you. You sweat too much," complaining, she started to adjust her makeup while looking in his mirror.

Hardly listening at all, Tatsuha picked up the last blossom before opening the window again and throwing them all out, "it's no reason to open the window," he grumbled quietly. 

 "You are such a baby," she pointed out to him. Then, she evilly gazed at him, "However, what I wanted to talk about didn't go that far. The thing I noticed was child's play compared to what we did last night."

Tingling nerves trickled down Tatsuha's spine at her devilish talk, and he now had a good idea of what she was talking about. He knew that she probably had seen him and Ryuichi kiss at the zoo, but was he sure about it? "What do you mean?"

 "Oh, nothing," she reached into her pocket, "just the little kiss you shared with Sakuma-sama. Or should I say, Sakuma no Okama desu?" throwing out a folded up paper from her pocket, Miyu tossed it to Tatsuha's feet.

Growling at the insulting name she just called Ryuichi, he grabbed the paper and unfolded it, "This is.." he was stunned to see the exact same autograph of Ryuichi he had given her before.

 "Yeah, Sakuma Ryuichi's autograph," she chocked, "After Sakuma no Okama went off after telling him how I felt about my 'relationships' with someone at the zoo, I took out the autograph you gave me of him. Strange enough to say, I had to bring it with me everywhere. Then, turned the paper around, thought I saw a smudge on the back or something. Nevertheless, it was a phone number. Sakuma's phone number, Tatsuha-kun. I could tell because he wrote his name above it."

Tatsuha's mouth dropped after turning the paper around and seeing the exact number that belonged to Ryuichi. He remembered Ryuichi asking for his phone number to call him with, so he let Ryuichi write down his phone number on a piece of paper he had in his pocket. He had taken out the autograph. 

 "Miyu," Tatsuha stuttered, knowing how much it must have hurt her.

 "It's okay," Miyu finished, "At first, I thought nothing of it. You know, since you two were friends, I knew you had to keep contact somehow. However, once I turned around to talk to you," she paused for a few second, looking as if she was about to cry. "I saw you two… kissing. After seeing that, I could not breathe and move. I wanted to say something, but I could not even find myself to speak. Nevertheless, I ended up running away until I got home, wanting to pretend it never happened. It hurt so much, and I just wanted to rip up that autograph, knowing it was a symbol for something between you two, hoping that if I ripped the paper, you two would rip apart. I just thought you may want to know all of this."

Tatsuha gulped down a hard bit of saliva after her explanation, but only looked at her, "I do not care how hurt you may feel, Miyu. I do not approve of you calling Ryuichi such a thing," he was still focused on what she had called him before. "Also, just because we are engaged because of you and my father mean I **have** to love you?"

 "No," Miyu panted, clutching at her chest, "But it _does_ mean you have to be loyal to me and not be messing around with some god damned thirty year old!"

"At least it is better than fucking my own cousin!" Tatsuha screamed at her, grabbing the magical appearing pants he had a hard time finding and put them on. "I do not want to see your face anymore, so go home," he snarled and left the room, slamming the door.

   "T-Tatsuha-kun?" Noriko held back the urge to laugh at the sight. Tatsuha was breathing heavily, soaked in sweat and his hair looked as if he sat in front of a fan for a few hours. He was a complete mess. "Where have you been? You are a little bad looking to come see Ryu-chan, aren't you?"

 "I ran here," he said between deep pants, swallowing spit to regain his energy. It may have sounded strange, seeing as he could have just drove her on his motorcycle.

Progressing clatters of footsteps were getting closer, and a flashy beauty looked over, "Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi chimed excitedly after seeing the man at his door. He dropped Kumagorou instantly to dash over and threw himself at Tatsuha, hugging him tightly. As a bystander, Noriko saw all of this very amusing.

 "Ryu-chan doesn't throw down Kumagorou for just _anyone_," she cooed jokingly, giving Tatsuha a queer smile. 

Tatsuha got what Noriko was saying and pulled Ryuichi off to a good distance to look at him, "Happy Birthday," he patted him on the head.

 "Thanks," Ryuichi sparkled suddenly, "At least someone has told me that today," he gave a weird look to Noriko.

Noriko gasped sarcastically, "Oh my god, Ryu-chan, it's your birthday?"

 "It's not funny anymore, Noriko-chan!" Ryuichi whined, jumping away from Tatsuha and over to the sexy female, "I already know what you are doing. It is April fool's Day and my birthday, so you are just doing it. You do it every year!"

Noriko giggled, her half-revealing top moving to the pattern, "You are so cute, Ryu-chan."

 "Yeah, yeah," Ryuichi pouted, "So stop saying you forgot to buy me a present," he demanded.

 "It is only April fool's," she sighed, disappointed that he had to ruin all the fun. Hearing Tohma call for her in the main room, she waved at the two with a mischievous glance and walked off to see what he wanted.

Ryuichi waved with a toothy grin to Noriko and smiled at Tatsuha, an instantly frowned at how he looked, "What happened to you?"

Tatsuha sighed, having to answer the same question again, "I ran here," he admitted, trying to fix his hair up a little bit.

 "Why did you run?" he asked, thinking he most have been pretty stupid at the time to not even ride his motorcycle or get a bus to make it here.

Tatsuha took off his shoes and walked onto the soft rug, "I don't know. I was mad at the time, I am pretty stupid," it somewhat hurt to actually tell himself the very truth.

Ryuichi took Tatsuha's hand, and walked over to pick up Kumagorou, "No you aren't. You are smart!" Although, it did not make Tatsuha feel that good hearing it from him. "So, what did you buy me?"

'_Shit,_' Tatsuha did not know how to tell him that he actually had nothing for him on his birthday, and he only tried for one thing when he even looked. "I, uh… didn't get you anything," he tried to say below a whisper, afraid to know what he may think, but it came out more audible than usual.

The look on Ryuichi's face was obvious on how disappointed he was with the outcome. To have Tatsuha here and not with a present was pointless now for him, but instead, he gave him his usual grin, "That's okay, I have enough stuff already!"

 "Really?" Tatsuha's ears drummed and his whole face seemed to shine, happy to know he was not going to be kicked out soon. Throwing his arms around Ryuichi, he pulled him closer to his chest into an embrace. He breathed in the wonderful smell of the man he held. Once he let go of the hug, he smiled at Ryuichi who did the same.

 "You really know how to bear hug," he teased him, adjusting his headband that most have been mixed up in the hug. Bringing Kumagorou to his face and giving the bunny a kiss, he looked over into the main room. Noriko must have seen the whole moment between the two because she just sat there, smiling at Ryuichi. "Let's go," Ryuichi stammered and ran into the main room with Tatsuha close behind him.

Tohma was taking a drink from his cup of coffee, making sure not to drip any of the liquid onto the important paper work he had been discussing with Noriko about. Being Ryuichi's birthday, one could only imagine how much of the dark substance he would have to devour. Noriko was looking over one of the paper Tohma had bestowed on her to read over, and the look on her face was evidence of how much the paperwork would benefit in some kind of form. That was it. There were only three people to attend Ryuichi's birthday: Noriko, Tohma, and Tatsuha. For such an important, famous man, he sure did not gather a crowd for his birthday.

 "Is this is?" Tatsuha asked just to make sure no one else was coming later.

Ryuichi glanced at the two working at the couch, "Yeah, it is usually just Nittle Grasper for my birthday, but you are a new member to my birthday!" Ryuichi squealed, crawling over to Tatsuha and playing with his sleeves.

 "What do we have here?" Noriko giggled, acting as if she was still looking at the papers. Tatsuha quickly shook Ryuichi off from pure embarrassment, leaving a confused thirty-two year old. 

Tohma, who would rather stay out of the whole situation, placed down the papers and looked at Ryuichi, "Do you want your present now or later?"

The birthday boy seemed to suddenly go into a seizure of some sort, hopping around and biting on Kumagorou, "Now, now, now!"  He said ecstatically.

   "That was a pretty stupid question," Noriko flipped back her curled pigtail, and grabbed a wrapped box from underneath the couch. The wrapping paper was a beautiful, shining blue and the bow was a curly purple. "This is from Tohma and me, Ryu-chan," she could not help but smile like a mother giving a present to her child.

Ryuichi took the present from her hands, looking at it as if he was about to drool all of it. Even if it was just a present, he treated it as if it was the most wonderful thing, even though it was still in the paper. "Maybe it is Shamu," he hopefully said to himself, unwrapping the box that could never hold a whale in the first place. Once all the paper was off, he opened the box to reveal his gift. Pulling it out, his eyes started to glitter and a Cheshire grin covered his face, "You got it!" he said happily, looking at the exact shirt he and Tatsuha saw.

 "What?" Tatsuha blurted aloud. He could not believe they actually got him the shirt he tried to get him in the first place! Being the receiver of all the looks he was getting from everyone, he just crossed his arms, "It is very nice." Noriko noticed his outrage and could not help but chortle at the problem he was having.

"I am going to try it on," leaving the pile of torn papers, he ran to the bathroom with his new shirt in hand. 

Tohma started to look at his paper work again, "I figured he would get excited over it," he was happy to see Ryuichi's reaction to the present.

 "Ryu-chan always acts like that about everything," Noriko leaned back.

Tatsuha watched the door Ryuichi had shut, listening for any sounds out of him or anything. Quizzically, he scanned the entire room that seemed so blank. "I can't believe this is it for his birthday."

 "Yeah," Tohma sighed, "Ryuichi always just has Noriko and me over for his birthday. He is a very sociable fellow, but all the friends he does have are not even that close to him, besides us. In fact, I was surprised he took up on you pretty fast, Tatsuha-san," he slurped on his coffee mug. 

Noriko rubbed her feet against the carpet, looking as if she was thinking hard about something. Musing at the ceiling, she explained, "its true Ryu-chan is not that close with his friends, and it just makes it harder for him to find someone to be with. I try to get him to go out and make friends, but he always has an objection of some sort. He is so confusing sometimes," nonchalantly, she leaned against Tohma's arm with a feminine sigh.

No wonder the house seemed so empty all the time. Why did Ryuichi not allow any contact with strangers? Moreover, now that Noriko mentioned it, he never really saw Ryuichi attempting to hang around Shuichi or anyone he was already friends with, except for Tohma or Noriko. Without anyone noticing, Ryuichi seemed to hold many secrets dormant to everyone else. Tatsuha knew that no matter how much he would get to know him, he would never know completely everything. 

 "How do I look?" came a small, cute voice from the corner. The three of them turned to look at Ryuichi in his new shirt. The black shirt was tight against his whole features, showing off every curve and angle and giving them a glance at his skin from its see-through fabric. Mild red was the color of his face as he waited for an opinion.

 "It," speechless, Tatsuha could not say anymore and his eyes did all the talking, looking over him repeatedly. "It's wonderful," he got out. 

Small clap pings were heard from Noriko's hands as she was applauding Ryuichi on, probably to encourage him and make him feel more comfortable in it, "Sexy," she managed to say in perfect English. Tatsuha was dumbfounded at what she had just said, seeing as he always failed in his English classes.

Ryuichi comprehended perfectly and laughed, "Maybe I should wear this for our next concert," he responded back in unbelievable, perfect English. No wonder he got along well in Los Angeles for three straight years. Everyone in the room were confused by what he had just said, even Tohma and Noriko. 

"Uh, what?" Tohma asked him to repeat what he just said, hopefully in their native language. He and Noriko had only picked up so many words from Ryuichi and from their short trips to America.

Somehow, although unknowing, the fact that Ryuichi just started talking in English to them and did not even realizing his limits of their understanding seemed to make him a bit embarrassed. In fact, he just waved off as if to have them to forget he even said anything.

After almost two hours of chatting and eating birthday cake that Noriko made herself, the four of them were slowly starting to slow down their conversations. In some ways, a certain birthday boy was getting inconvincibly tired, his head straight on Noriko's lap with her fingers, beautified by her several rings, coating through his light brown locks. The whole process made his eyes droop even more, and more. Holding his pink bunny to his new, black shirt, tightening his grip every time Noriko would stroke a spot that felt good enough to send shivers through his entire body.

"Shamu would have enjoyed this party very much," Tohma implied sweetly, endearing the scène of the tired soul, watching him smile to him sweetly at his remark. With one last sigh, Tohma gathered his several papers he spread out across the table to work on, many that have be drawn on by Ryuichi, and started to get ready. "Well, I need to be going home. Mika-chan told me to be home at a certain time and I am already later as it is," placing his hand on Noriko's smooth arm, he offered, "I need to give you a ride home, right Noriko?"

She must have forgotten everything about how to get home after being absorbed into grooming her friend, "I almost forgot," she said optimistically. Carefully and slowly, she tried to lift Ryuichi's head up and not wake him at the same time. Wriggling her long, slender legs from underneath his head, she managed to get free and place his head on the couch peacefully. However, the very difference of surface awoke Ryuichi. 

 With a couple of flicks of his eyes, he looked up at Noriko with a dazed gaze, "What are you doing?" he said spryly.

 "Tohma and I are going now, Ryu-chan," Noriko ruffled the very hair she had made perfect by rubbing for half and hour, "Good night," she said before trotting out the door, anxious to get home to her husband and daughter.

Tohma smiled at her jaunty actions, even at this late at night. "Good night," he also said to him before following Noriko out the door and shutting it behind him.

For a whole five minutes, the house seemed to go completely quiet and you could almost hear the ringing in your ears. Hoping to hear echoes from previous conversations were your last resort, seeing as Tatsuha and Ryuichi has no chemistry going on now. Ryuichi did not even seem to be talkative, staring at the couch cushions dreamily and then falling face first into the furniture, exhausted. 

 "Tired?" Tatsuha would ask after a few seconds passed, hoping he was even awake to hear his query. The instinctive grumbling of a cushion-filled mouth was a definite 'yes'.

Light, auburn hair suddenly sifted in the light from the room, along with the moonlight shining in through the glass windows. The two different shades made him look very symbolic, the front of his face was much brighter from the light bulb burning in the ceiling, making his eyelids and lips shine. In addition, the moonlight covered his backside of his head, causing it to look darker than the other half, giving it an almost mysterious shine. Ryuichi almost looked like a human yen and yang sign, presenting dark and light forms of his inner being. 

 Moreover, in a way, it was like that.

 "I need sleep," he allowed himself to mumble out, practically falling back to the couch but catching himself. "You can go home now, too," he directed towards the only other person in the household.

Feeling a little bit of defeat and worry, Tatsuha found himself in another bind. He ran here from Kyoto after getting off the subway, and his motorcycle was all the way at home. "I can't go home, I have no way of transportation," he admitted, not really wanting to walk around the streets of Tokyo this late. 

A small glimmer could be seen in Ryuichi's eyes. You could almost say he was happy to not be alone for the night, just as he always was. The very thought of company seemed to make him overjoyed. 

 "Well, you can stay the night," he smiled abruptly at him, moving off the couch and signaling for him to sleep there. "You are already acquainted with my couch," he taunted him teasingly. 

Tatsuha just played along, crawling over to the couch and getting on the rather long couch, "Yes, I am. I never thought I would see her again," he rubbed his cheek against its soft feeling.

"_Her_?" Ryuichi puzzled. He did not realize his couch had its own gender. Cuddling with Kumagorou, he buried his mouth to yawn on the rabbit's back before biding Tatsuha a good night.

After hearing the very statement of 'goodnight' from Ryuichi was too hard for him. Gathering enough courage, he insisted, "Is it okay if I go up and walk you to your room?"

 "What is this," Ryuichi smirked, looking back down at him from his stairs, "did we just get back from the prom?" noticing the already flustered Tatsuha, he sympathized, "Sure, I would love it if you escorted me to my room," he giggled.

Tatsuha was delighted to her the acceptance and quickly walked to the steps he was standing at, and lead him all the way up the wooden stairs, passing the many doors to the designated one. Turning the knob, he opened the door to his room and turned on the light. The room did not even change from when he left it before; it was still as clean as it was when he put Ryuichi in his bed from being intoxicated. Sure, there were a few toys brought out here and there, but you cannot fix everything.

 Without any hesitation, Ryuichi dashed to his king sized bed and dove right into the covers, digging his face into the fresh-smelling pillows with a grin. Sighing in delight of the feeling of his bed, he seemed to instantly fall asleep. He was so beautiful laying there. The covers that were protecting him would bend up and down over every curve of his petite body. Tatsuha decided to shut off the light so Ryuichi could get the sleep he deeply desired, and once he did, he noticed the true beauty. The room was so dark and the only light came from the window, with its curtains pulled back. Moonlight shined right through and on Ryuichi's bed, showing his sleeping face. He looked so childish in this light, yet he seemed so mature at the same time, almost as if he was two people in one perfect person.

 "Goodnight," he whispered, although he knew he never would hear him at the slumber he was at right now. 

Tossing and turning, Ryuichi let out a small groan between closed lips. "Tatsuha," he said at a small whisper. Sleeping was something he was actually not doing. Waiting until the man he called for paused at his door, he continued, "May I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure," Tatsuha smiled, turning back around to look at his featured. Although he was happy enough to do anything for the man before him, he was also very tired and the couch was calling for him.

He could hear Ryuichi fumbling and turning with the covers, "Lie down with me for a while," he barely said correctly. His voice seemed to go up and down in tone while he said the request.

 "…" Tatsuha's functions all stopped at what he asked for. Naturally, he always planned for himself to just jump on Ryuichi like a darting bullet. However, now that he had exactly what he wanted in front of him, asking for it… he could not even move. If he wanted this so bad, why was he unable to do it? Just like when he asked for a kiss at the zoo. Something almost made him stop and warned him not to get too close, and making him shake with fear all over.

 "Please?" the small voice came again in a different tone, "I always sleep by myself, except with Kumagorou. I just get sacred and lonely sometimes," he mumbled to himself.

Sympathy soon took over the boys' body and he carefully walked across the floor, trying to dodge his feet from stepping on the misplaced toys and getting hurt. He could feel his heart beat getting faster and faster, along with the weird feeling of the organ jumping into his throat. Reaching out his hands, he finally felt the bed mattress and sat down on it, knowing the man of his dreams was lying right next to him.

 '_What is wrong with me_?' he asked himself. He was always so dominate and flirtatious with other men and woman, getting them straight to bed and having his way with them. Nevertheless, whenever he gets with Ryuichi, he freezes up whenever he gets this close to the only person he **really** wants do the things with. He does not even feel like himself, but a completely different person. Where is the demeanor that would just pounce Sakuma Ryuichi? Was he that different, even to himself?

Pulling the covers up, he slipped his body into the covers, making sure not to make much contact with Ryuichi. Tensing and nervous, he listened for any kind of movement within the bed and was happy to hear nothing at all. Maybe Ryuichi finally fell asleep after he only sat down.

 "Well, at least I can finally get some sleep," he reassured himself. Letting out a deep breath, he suddenly felt something warm on his stomach area. It sent shivers down his spine, and started putting heat to his body. Reaching down to feel what it was, his hand met someone else's. With a quick gasp, he realized it was Ryuichi's own, small hand on his very stomach. Gasping for a good breath, he noticed the slow, circular motion his hand was starting to take on his body, tugging at his shirt. "Ryuichi," he asked.

Then, at what seemed a second, the other man's whole body seemed to press against his in a cuddling position. Smaller legs entangled with much muscular ones, rubbing his feet against Tatsuha's. Tatsuha could feel a warm, retentive breath along his neck and the rim of Ryuichi's forehead on the broad of his chin. All the closeness made him so nervous for some weird reason he could not explain. 

 '_I cannot do this,_' Tatsuha squinted his eyes shut, trying to figure out why he thought this way. '_Ryuichi does not even_ _know about the whole Miyu situation, he would hate me if he did_!' and then, he realized why he was so nervous. Remembering the "advice" Ryuichi gave him about the person Miyu loved. Knowing how Ryuichi felt: wanting the "guy" to explain to Miyu he loved someone else, and then telling the person he really loved the whole situation. It made Tatsuha feel so uncomfortable, as if he was the bad guy.

 "Ryuichi," he chocked down.

Ryuichi, who was obviously awake, rubbed his face against the boy's neck sweetly, leaving pants of breath along the way, "Yeah?"

 "Remember that person who loved Miyu? You know, the guy she could not love back, and you felt sorry for her about it?" he could not believe what he was saying right now. It was so hard to even bring all of these words out straight, and was afraid of how Ryuichi would act when it was all over.

 "… Yeah," Ryuichi asked curiously. He had stopped everything he was doing shortly and his full attention to was Tatsuha and what he was telling him. In a way, he too was afraid of what he was going to say.

 Could he really tell him that he was the exact man Miyu was telling him about, the man she was crying over? Would Ryuichi feel used after knowing he was doing all of this with him while he was engaged with her? More importantly, would he ever see him again after he told him the truth? Ryuichi would probably never want to see him again.

 "What would you say if the guy she was talking about was me?" not daring to look at the other man, Tatsuha could only look at the pink bunny sitting at the edge of the bed. 

Ryuichi stared up at Tatsuha with unbelievable eyes, and he felt his heart beat stop. Pulling back his hands from his body, he could only think of how much he wanted to strangle Tatsuha with those very hands. Was Tatsuha implying that he was the one Miyu was engaged to? 

 "It was you?" Ryuichi stuttered, not wanting to jump into anything.

Feeling the urge to save himself from any separation at all from Ryuichi, Tatsuha sighed with a big, fake exterior. For now, he could not even imagine his life without Ryuichi and did not want to lose him, at least not now. He was only still getting to know the man he felt deeply for and did not want it all to be for nothing between the both of them.

 "No, April Fool's," he said, kissing him.

 END

 Well, how about that? It seems Tatsuha does not have the courage now to tell Ryuichi the truth. Actually, it is very human for him to do such a thing. It may be a bit selfish, but he just wants to stay close to Ryuichi as much a possible. Anyways, I would have hated my birthday being ruined by that!

 Heh, look everyone… THEY ARE IN BED TOGETHER!! Praise me, and you may get more. =D

Happy Birthday, Ryu-chan! In real standards, you would be around 38 but you are 32 in this story. Be happy you feel so young, still.

 Now, reviews! (I want more.)

**Cherry-Wolf: **Yeah, I think your fanfic is very interesting in many points. It is a little comforting that you 'love' this story. Thank you. To your other comments, truthfully, I have a big heart for Miyu. I hate her, yet I love her. Also, do not get off your soapbox. What you say is very true, but I think Miyu is a little too possessive and wants Tatsuha to herself with no interference whatsoever. That is probably what I hate about her. Heh, I do not even know things about the characters I am writing about. I just type everything without even thinking. Hope to see you review once more!

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **Yes, I am a male. In addition, I am very pleased to receive hugs _and_ kisses from you. It makes me want to get all stud-like. To the main point, I am not very fond of Miyu that much either. However, I still like her and feel a little sorry for her. Furthermore, stay in your seat because more kissing and everything will be coming up. Lemon scenes are starting their engines, also. 

**Queen of Vegetasei: ** Indeed, I am a guy. You do not know how weird it makes me feel to be commented that I write like a girl and seem like one. Hah, oh well. Maybe I should keep acting like a girl to have girls talk to me, and guys find me attractive. Thank you for the review and I am glad you are loving my fanfic! In addition, I wished I could have squeezed the animal suits in somewhere, but Tatsuha had to leave it because Miyu tagged along. Feels like you are back in 6th grade? Wow! I should start lessons and everything. To your seats, class. Tomorrow's lesson, smut between Tatsuha and Ryuichi. =P

**Anna Sartin: **It flatters me for you to say this is a piece of work, making it feel as if this is a masterpiece. As you have said, their relationship is growing slowly. It is not fast or slow, but at a normal pace as you would see in real life. I just now noticed as you implied it to me. =/

**Komioji Fin: **Rabid, rabid! Just kidding, and I love breadsticks with cheese if you are to hit me with one. Kill Miyu? I knew there were going to be a few people who are annoyed by her. Maybe I should just have her spleen erupt. I got more smooched from people! I am a plyaaaahh!

**PikuPiku: **Do you people not believe I am a guy? Yes, I am. I have been a male fan of Gravitation for years now, maybe starting around 1999 or so. Also, Miyu will forever LIVE! She is eternal. Mwaha!

**Noali: **Thanks. About the "strange" Ryuichi, I merely see that as just one of his moods or attitudes, just as people have mood swings. He is only one person to me. Of course, yes I am a male. Everyone is very surprised, although flattering. To your question, I like the manga. I am not really even a fan of the anime at all. So, you may not get some jokes or things in this story unless you have read the manga volumes 1-12. I hope I do not get a writer's block, either.

**The Dark Neko: **Actually, you are right. This world cannot live with Tatsuha/Ryuichi! We should all boycott and demand more Tatsuha/Ryuichi! Sounds fun, ne? Thank you for liking the Ryuichi I have written. As I have said, I do not like him too childish or too serious, he is just normal as he acts a lot more like in the manga. Miyu voodoo doll. Oooh, can I have a Tatsuha one? =D

**Beachan18: **Your reply makes me laugh. =B

**OverBetweenUnder: **I need to celebrate now. Thank you for putting this in your favorites, thank you!

**Woodsie: **My head is going to explode from my ego getting so large because of your compliments. I am the coolest guy ever? Why yes, I am. *laughs* Ryuichi asking Tatsuha to kiss him was a little weird, huh? =/

**Now, your moment of Zen:**

I am **MALE**! Hear my roar!!

 Miyu: You all love me! You really, really love me! *blows kisses*

 Don't eat peanuts, and Gravitation is owned by Maki Murakami.


	8. Stay with me

There are many things going on in my life right now, so I am going to keep this very short for now.

However, I would like for you guys to give me the best wishes, hoping that a certain someone will say 'yes' in going out with me! Please review, also.

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 8**

Everything seemed to be going so fast, confusing every kind of sense in his body. What was going to happen? More importantly, what was going to happen to him? Things were coming left and right, and not even his own mind could put up with this much pressure and new situations. Emotions he had never felt before were suddenly darting inside of him, and he could barely breathe. Is this why he always tried to distance himself from getting too close? Was the reason only the simple fact that he could not take such confusion, change, and pain? It was almost as if he could foresee the obstacles that would happen to him if he jumped in some stupid act. A stupid act like as a mutual relationship. However, what was he really feeling right now? Sure, he would feel so happy that he could just explode from it all, but he had felt this way about every minute of his life. Around his friends, he would act just as he felt now. Was he confused because he was just being settled to a new person being in that position?

 Ryuichi did not even know what was wrong with him. Every day he would stare out of his window, peering into the streets, looking for the answer to the questions inside of his head. All of the changes with Tatsuha in his life now were a little unnerving, causing him to want to be alone and just think about everything from time to time. With that very man in his bed next to him, covered in his covers as if they were his own, Ryuichi could only wonder why he even wanted the man to sleep with him. To have company in the dark night of this room was a wonderful essential, but to have Tatsuha's company seemed like a lot to Ryuichi. To feel his presence next to him in his sleep, to smell his husky, smoke filled scent. 

 Tatsuha seemed to treat Ryuichi as a friend, as he always made time to hang out with him but seemed get a little nervous when they got too close. How did Tatsuha really feel about him, though? More importantly, how did he feel about Tatsuha? To feel his lips seemed almost magical and wonderful every time they would share a kiss. Observing this, what did it mean for him to let Tatsuha kiss him? In fact, why had he asked him to kiss him before? He thought and felt Tatsuha as a friend, but is it right? In a way, it felt something much, much more.

 Feeling the sensation of mild pressure and rubbing against him, he looked over to see Tatsuha turning around repeatedly and mumbling something silently. Once he turned towards Ryuichi, he could finally get a good look at Tatsuha's face. It looked so hard and delicate, probably because it was broad. His bangs would dance across his eyelids as he slept, making him look like a pure angel. His mouth was a little agape, letting breaths pass out from inhaling and exhaling. It had a very beautiful rhythm. Those beautiful, dark raven eyes soon fluttered open tiredly and looked up at the man gazing at his every feature.

Not helping himself, he smiled. "Good morning," he said in his deep voice.

 "Morning," Ryuichi smiled back, feeling his heart beat faster after hearing that voice he always could not wait to hear. Placing his head on the pillow, he looked at the other man who was lying on his pillow. "I was going to wake up," he informed him.

Confused, Tatsuha gave him a look of wonderment. "Why?" he asked, wondering if Ryuichi just wanted to get rid of him.

 "You need to go to school," Ryuichi replied, making him remember that the day was only Friday.

Tatsuha rolled his eyes, not wanting to leave Ryuichi for a place as horrible as school. He knew what would await him once he walked inside the educational doors. Not only work, but Miyu would be there today and she would probably have a thing or two to say to him about the argument they had, and why he had not came back home the whole night. "I don't want to," he let out a small whine, stunning Ryuichi.

 "You sound like a baby," Ryuichi chuckled, never seeing this side of Tatsuha before. "It is just school," he tried to comfort him, hoping he would go.

Letting out a small laugh, he got out of bed, "No, it's hell," he spoke the undeniable truth. Knowing that would never get through to Ryuichi who has lived through high school, he flashed him a genuine smile. "Besides," he bent down and rubbed his hand across Ryuichi's cheek, "I would rather skip school and stay here with you," he tried to bribe, which did not seem to work. 

 "You can come over to my house **after** school," he countered back, obvious of what Tatsuha was trying to do. For Ryuichi to insist him arrive to his house was a big privilege to hear, and he seemed to brighten. Moreover, seeing him getting his socks and shoes on his bare feet was a definite conclusion that Tatsuha agreed with his suggestion. "I am glad you listened," he boasted, proud to convince Tatsuha to do something other than kiss him.

"Yeah," he said with the most pessimistic voice, not wanting to be defeated. Stuffing his foot in his shoe, he got to his feet and tried to think if he had any homework he left at home. Than, putting on his most adorable face, he looked at Ryuichi, "may I please stay here with you, Ryuichi?" 

Waving goodbye to Tatsuha, biding him off to school, Ryuichi shut his door and let out a large sigh of relief. Having Tatsuha around was great and all, but it all seemed so frustrating because of all the things he was feeling and thinking about. He only thought about these things we Tatsuha was around him, so it was nice to get him away for a while. Touching his forehead with his fingertips, he could almost feel the thoughts rushing through his head. He never spent this much time thinking about one person only, and it was starting to scare him.

 "What is wrong with me?" he asked himself before searching for Kumagorou, knowing he would talk it out with him. Walking into his room, he spotted Kumagorou on his floor, head first and his feet dangling in the air. Giving a smile, he asked his friend, "What are you doing?" he walked over and picked him up. 

Sitting down on his bed, still feeling the warmth of Tatsuha, he looked at Kumagorou's black, beady eyes and could not help but notice see the curiosity in his eyes, almost as if he wanted to know what was going on in his mind. 

 "I do not know what is happening," he finally let out. "When I am with Tatsuha-kun, I feel happy and so full of life that it is unimaginable. I think of him as a great guy and wonderful friend," he started to trail off, looking at the little bowtie on the bunny's neck, "but is that how I really feel? I do not even know myself. I have had many friends, but I have never felt this way for a friend before and it is starting to hurt my heart for some reason. If I do have feelings for him, what should I say? If I do not, then why do I feel this way?"

Moving Kumagorou's head back and forth with his hands and fingers pressing against the back of his head, he seemed to have heard a response from the inanimate object, "Do I feel like I cannot live without him?" Ryuichi asked back, seeing as that what he must have asked. His eyes drifted to the very spot where Tatsuha slept with him and for the moment, he smiled by just thinking about the man. 

 "I don't know Kumagorou. I just don't know," he whispered into his large, floppy ear.

_____________

"You really seem to be zoning out today," a youthful, brown-headed boy said. Wearing sunglasses to cover his green eyes, and an earring to give him a mysterious demeanor. It was obvious this boy must be a popular, attractive person and his friendly aura emitted from him intensely. "What's on your mind, punk?" saying that with the utmost formality and friendship, he waved his hand in front of Tatsuha's face, hoping to get a blink out of him.

"Eh?" responding to the sudden flash of tan color, Tatsuha realized that he was still walking the hallways of school with Eichiro, one of his closest friends. Passing the loud, obnoxious sounds of opening and shutting lockers, he turned to him, "What did you say?"

Eichiro knew Tatsuha to drift off into dreamland every now and then, but he could see the serious thought and in eyes. Gripping a hold of the strap of his book bag, he pulled it up to his shoulders for support. "You seem to be thinking hard for some reason," too curious for his own good, he could not stop at that, "What's on your mind?"

 "A lot," he replied, wanting to stop at that. Once they reached their lockers, he tried to avoid any more conversation and started to ruffle out his combination on the lock, trying to memorize the second number. From the corner of his eye, he saw Eichiro already getting into his locker with just a swift hit to the door.

Unzipping his book bag and taking out his notebooks, Eichiro would occasionally glance over to his friend, chuckling at his disability of opening his own locker before going back to grabbing his things for classes. 

 "34..." Tatsuha grunted to himself, twisting the lock to the exact number he mumbled, lifting the latch up, and opening the door. "Finally," proud of himself, he smiled broadly and started to get his books and a pencil. 

Eichiro could not imagine after all these years; Tatsuha always took at least three minutes to get his locker open. Furthermore, to think this would be the last year he would ever see those antics from him in the hallway. "I cannot believe this will be our last year in this hellhole," he mused aloud.

 "I can," he strained after putting the weight of his math book in his hands, "I am ready to run through those doors and never enter them again." 

Eichiro said something underneath his breath, hoping Tatsuha would not hear him. However, he got his attention. "Nothing," he said, "we better get to class," once they shut their lockers, a swift figure walked past Eichiro quickly, making his hair go up from the breeze. The pushed her elbow into Tatsuha purposely, shoving their way past him and kept walking. 

Saying nothing except giving a queer look, Tatsuha turned around to see Miyu walking down the hallway, holding her textbooks and speed walking past everyone. He felt as if he had just been beaten up inside, _hard_.

 "What is wrong with Amori-chan?" Eichiro asked Tatsuha, grabbing some of his books he dropped on the floor. Sensing Tatsuha's uneasiness and his hurt look, he had an idea of what was wrong, "You two have a fight?"

Shaking his head, Tatsuha started to walk down the hallway with Eichiro close to his side. Knowing exactly why Miyu was acting like that was a little comical, yet hurtful. Now he had to explain to his friend, "Sort of," was his short answer.

 "Oh, I get it," he giggled, "you serving up too much smut at night with her, big boy?"

 "Hell no," giving him a glare as if having sex with Miyu never happens, "we did a couple nights back, though," he remembered the night before Ryuichi's birthday. He had almost forgotten about that little rendezvous.

Eichiro thought of her weird behavior for a moment, and did not even really realize that they both had walked into the classroom where everyone would listen to what they are talking about. "Maybe she is pregnant," he meant to say it as a joke, but his tone was rather flat, and serious.

The whole class seemed to turn around and stop all of their conversations at the sound of the rumor, "Who?" many of their classmates asked simultaneously, others were just agape and listened carefully.

 "She could not be," he said nervously, taking note of all the pairs of eyes staring at him. Quickly taking his seat at his desk, he took one of his notebooks and opened it up to cover his face. 

Eichiro leaned down to join him behind the book, "and why not? There is a high possibility, daddy," he giggled.

Ignoring his obvious joke, he answered simply, "She takes birth control."

 "Maybe she skipped a pill on purpose," he countered.

Not fazed whatsoever, Tatsuha put his book down to see some of his classmates gave up on eavesdropping and went back to their own deeds, while a few others still listened. Taking in Eichiro's comment, he knew better than that. "If she was pregnant with **my** child, she would not be mad. Heck, she would have been skipping down the hallway, throwing flower petals, and jumped into my arms," hoping Eichiro would agree, he shut his book, letting the noise snap in his face.

 However, Eichiro was one that hated to be defeated, "I don't know," he continued on, "girls usually get cranky when they are pregnant. It is like menstruation, I am telling you."

After that comment, Tatsuha barely said anything. For the rest of the school day, he thought his friend might actually be right about Miyu and being pregnant with his own child. It seemed like something Miyu would have done, but would she actually do it was the question. Would she go to such lengths just so Tatsuha would have to be with her forever, and not with anyone else, mainly Sakuma Ryuichi? 

 Thoughts ran rampant in his head as he stared at the back of the girl who may be with child in front of him.

All the students would flee from their classrooms after the bell rang, signaling that they can take their break period. Everyone chatted to one another, gossiping about the latest news. Men would walk the hallways with their girlfriends while holding hands together, trying their best to keep up conversation. 

Already feeling like someone had drove him over; Tatsuha stumbled across the hallway and bent down to get a drink from the fountain, sucking up the water that poured out. Licking his lips to get the dripping water off his lips, he headed down to his locker slowly. He noticed the glances he would get from almost everyone. They all probably wondered why Miyu was not hanging off of his arm in some kind of fashion like she always is, or they must have heard the conversation he and Eichiro had before. Once he saw the exact person his whole class must be talking about, he stiffened up.

 Walking down the hallway with a couple of her friends, laughing and chattering to and fro from one another, Miyu seemed so angelic. Releasing a golden smile, she took her index and middle finger to slowly brush back a loose strand of hair from her face and put it behind her ear. She and her two friends seemed to be talking about something interesting, seeing as she gave them her full-attention, expressions changing drastically. The blonde leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she would give her a baffled look, followed by a comment Tatsuha could not hear because of their distance. Her two friends started to giggle after she finished whatever she told them and they followed her steps down the hallway. Giving the perfect moment, she noticed Tatsuha standing there, looking at her at the water fountain. 

 Rolling her eyes, she could not help but feel thirsty and went over to the fountain and take a drink. After getting a good drink of fresh water, she brushed her hair back and leaned against the wall next to the boy. Eyeing him suspiciously, she did nothing but wait for him to say something to her. Saving them both from silence, she opened her perky lips, "What is this whole thing about me being pregnant?"

 "Good news travels fast," he remarked as if he knew exactly what she was going to say. Looking about, he took note that her two friends must have wiggled away somehow, leaving them two alone. Forcing a smile, he gazed at her, "or should we say _rumors_ travel fast?" Even he was unsure if the whole thing was a rumor or not. He was pretty curious.

Miyu could not help but laugh, "Of course it is!" feeling the need to, she patted him on the shoulder. "If I was pregnant, I would not come to school today. I would stay home, bawling. Doesn't matter who the father would have been, I still would react the same."

 "Oh," Tatsuha felt a large amount of stress fly off his shoulders at that exact moment. Wanting to hug her, he held himself back after remembering the grudge he was holding against her. "That is all I wanted to know," he finished in a sour tone.

Turning her face away from him, Miyu needed to bring something up. "I see that you still do not want to see my face anymore, huh?"

Letting out a large breath, Tatsuha retraced his harsh comment he made to Miyu that morning before. Hearing the pain in her voice made his whole heart cringe and turn, as if she was just trying to show him how much he made her hurt. However, what she said about Ryuichi was almost unforgivable to him. They _were_ unforgivable! What she called him, how she sounded while saying it, **everything** she said about Ryuichi and him. Thinking about it even made some cold feeling rage in his heart.

 "No," Tatsuha said plainly, "not really."

 "I see," she dared not to speak anymore, knowing it would just start an argument with him. Watching his back turn to her and leave, walking absently down the hallway, she brought her books close to her mouth. "I will just have to get you using other ways," she murmured.

___________

 Hot, damp, and refreshed were the few factors of his body that made him actually relax after the last couple of days. All too well had he been rushed for work and then stressed upon by friends and others. The week had truly been hectic for Ryuichi and he had no way around it, seeing as most weeks of every year were the same as this one. Grabbing a dry towel, he scurried out of the shower and started to rub his head with the fabric. Water was dripping from the edges of his body, and heat overcoming his skin. Taking a hold of the clothes he set out, he carefully would slip on his shirt, undergarments, and followed by his pants. 

"Hey buddy," he would smile at the pink bunny sitting there, waiting for the finishing touches of his shower. Delicately brushing his hair, Ryuichi would take the hair band and grab a good amount of the back of his hair and put it up. Although, two long strands of his bangs hung down separately on the sides of his face. Looking into the mirror to examine his face and see if he needed to fix his hair at all, he thought about what he and Tatsuha would do once he came back after school. Once he looked into the mirror, he seemed to see something else.

A distorted, confused image of himself. What he used to be seemed almost gone within himself and out of reach. Clutching to his chest, he felt his heartbeat raging and burning. Nothing he had ever experienced had ever been so challenging for him such as this, especially when he did not know what was causing all of this. The feeling almost made him faint but also made him want to throw up. Something was yelling at him from the bottom of his heart and the back of his mind. What was it and what was it trying to tell him? Looking at the mirror once more, his eyes were sparkling with confusion and emotion. He was feeling something.

Whatever that feeling was, he knew the feelings were for Tatsuha. 

"Tatsuha-kun," he said quietly to himself. Overcoming his daze, he was surprised to hear the noise of his doorbell ringing. Feeling foolish for thinking deeply about such a thing, he grabbed Kumagorou and started down his stairs. Clunking all the way to the door, he grabbed the knob and swung open the wood to greet the person.

 "I'm home," Tatsuha chummed playfully to the older man, his backpack swung around his arm. Not noticing Ryuichi's expression, he walked past him and right into the kitchen to grab a drink. "You need some beer in this house," he said while searching through his fridge, taking a carton of juice and drank straight from it. Once he put the carton back in the fridge, he grabbed something from his back pocket. It was his pack of cigarettes and he deliberately grabbed a nicotine stick out of the box and placed it between his teeth. Bringing his blue lighter to the cigarette, he looked up at Ryuichi before lighting it. He was just standing there, looking at him with big eyes that were a sure sign of something. Tatsuha jittered at the look and pulled the stick out of his mouth, "I am sorry, I am acting so weird, almost as if I lived here or something," he stuttered.

Ryuichi had taken notice of the behavior Tatsuha was doing, He just walked into his house, made himself comfortable, rummaging through his fridge, and even complaining about what he did or did not have. What did he expect; for him to go shopping for his needs? Even so, Ryuichi's heart seemed to like his forwardness, making it flutter at his every action. In fact, Ryuichi basically did just stand there and watch his every action, admiring his every move and feature like a love-struck schoolgirl. "We," he actually spoke, getting Tatsuha's attention. "We need to talk about some things," he informed.

 "Okay.." Tatsuha gave him an awkward glance. Truly, he was a little afraid of what they may talk about. Taking a seat at his couch, he motioned for Ryuichi to sit with him, as he did. Fumbling with the unused cigarette with his fingers, he tried to think of something to start their conversation. "If this is about how I was acting, I am sorry. I am acting like a," he tried to find a good word for what he meant, but he found nothing suitable. Of course, he had a word that he did not want to use.

 "A boyfriend or a lover?" Ryuichi optioned to him, leaning into him. Something about his eyes were a bit scary to Tatsuha and made him uneasy for a reason unknown to him.

"Yeah," Tatsuha stammered quickly, looking around the room. He felt himself go hot after looking at Ryuichi's face again. It was so innocent and sweet, yet so mature and confused. Something about Ryuichi was different today, something about his atmosphere and feeling. Wanting to calm down whatever made Ryuichi bothered, he brought his hand to Ryuichi's face, rubbing the silky smooth skin of his. God, did he love the feeling of Ryuichi's skin upon his own. Tracing his fingers through his hair, he saw the emotion in his face. Full of content ness and desire, Ryuichi obviously enjoyed what he was doing to him. 

 "Tatsuha-kun," he whimpered through closed lips, his eyes halfway shut and his knees shaking. Tugging at Tatsuha's pant leg, he drifted his other hand to his chest, rubbing invisible lines across the clothes that separated his palm and fingers from his bare chest. Feeling every muscle and structure, Ryuichi let out a small grunt before digging his head into the seventeen year olds chest, wrapping his lean arms around his back. Taking in every scent of the boy, he would snuggle his against him. Feeling Tatsuha stiffen up because of his actions, he slowly started to rub his back in upward and downward motion, feeling him relax. 

Tatsuha wrapped his arms around the short man, placing his chin on the top of his head, smelling the scent of his just showered hair. "Ryuichi," he panted out eventually, hugging him tightly as if he never wanted to let go. This moment seemed to last forever, and the two of them wanted just as that. Their hearts beating in sync, and their deep breathes would go simultaneously. The warmth of their bodies filled one another completely, making them forget about everything around them. As long as they were this close to each other, the needed nothing else. 

 "I need to tell you something anyway," Tatsuha admitted, wanting this to be the time for him to tell him about the whole Miyu franchise. Also, his feelings for him.

Ryuichi did not even move from his spot, still hugging tightly onto Tatsuha. "I am listening," he would say and then scoot close to him, practically in his lap.

"Well," he started, lifting his head up, "This whole time I have been doing this with you, I-"

 "_HE-LLO!_" a loud, melodic scream came from around the corner and Noriko came running into the room before she frantically paused at the sight. Seeing one of her best friends and a seventeen year old on the couch almost getting frisky isn't exactly what you would want to see once you entered your friend's house. Instead, Noriko giggled to herself and gave them both a mischievous grin, "I always wanted to know how one child would act when they walked in on their parents being sexual," she pointed at herself, grinning. "Now I know!"

Tatsuha could feel Ryuichi jittering on top of him and his face was so hung down, he could not really tell what he was feeling. Whether he was laughing, crying, or whatever a little unknown to all of them was. Noriko just laughed at what she had found, almost as if she had just seen the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. However, Tatsuha was paying more tending to Ryuichi's action.

 "N-Noriko," he finally stammered, lifting his head up. His whole face seemed to be a bright color of red, covering up any other color of his entire face. Looking completely embarrassed, he pointed at his friend, "Shut up! What are you doing here!?"

Not at all fazed by his usual, childlike behavior, Noriko swung her arms up, "Oh, Ryu-chan. I know you are just bashful because you got caught getting _friendly_ with your boyfriend."

This time, it was Tatsuha's turn to say something, and he gave her a glare that could kill, "**Noriko**," he warned her, but his flushed cheeks said otherwise.

"Calm down you two," she said, feeling a little bad about everything she had said before. However, it did not take her long before she got back on track, "Don't worry, Saki-chan has walked in on my husband and I before," she tried to sooth Ryuichi down.

"No wonder your daughter is the way she is," he come backed, but Noriko just seemed to find his joke funny.

Lifting her purse up to viewing angle, she searched through the assessment and pulled out her billfold, "Just to tell you, I am came down here to see if you wanted to go to the mall," smiling brightly, she flashed them some of her money before putting it safely back in its department. 

 "I don't really want to," Ryuichi was still sour about everything, looking away from Noriko and scooting off of Tatsuha. Tatsuha kind of looked neglected at his actions, still having his arms out from their hug.

Not wanting to spoil anything, and hopefully decrease the bad mood in the room, Tatsuha sighed and looked up at Noriko with a smile. "I would like to go, Noriko-chan," he told her using a sweet formality. Of course, his reply got the attention of a certain vocalist. Feeling the look he was getting, he looked over to see Ryuichi gazing at him with a bewildered, innocent look. Trying to encourage him, Tatsuha moved his lips to say, 'come with us'. 

 As if Ryuichi would be tempted into going, anyway.

_______

 "Hurry up, Ryu-chan," Noriko shouted, walking from one store to another. Usually, the ecstatic thirty-one year old would be dashing around with Noriko, instead of toddling behind. 

Feeling a little bad about the whole thing, Tatsuha would stay at Ryuichi's side and say nothing, hoping he would say something first. Maybe just walking by him would make Ryuichi feel a little better in a way. Looking over the man, he seemed completely in the dumps for a weird reason. He walked slowly with his head hung low, watching his feet take each step. He barely said anything, except for the occasional sigh every time and again. 

 "You okay?" he finally found the courage to ask him, hoping he found no problem in asking.

No reaction whatsoever and he just nodded, signaling a yes. Sighing once more, Ryuichi actually looked up at the crowds roaming around the mall and trying to spot out Noriko whenever he could. "I can't believe she saw," speaking for the first time since they came, "I feel so stupid."

 "Stupid?" Tatsuha echoed, feeling a tad bit insulted. However, instead of going off on him, he just brought his tone down, "why do you feel stupid about that?"

It was evident that Ryuichi's cheeks started to go violet and his hand brought to his face, "because," was his first answer. Fiddling with his earrings, he looked up at the boy he was caught with, "aren't you embarrassed?"

 "Um," Tatsuha had to think about it. In his life, he had been caught with many of women and men before by friends and yet that never seemed to bother him. Through years of such sexual actions and being seen he never really was embarrassed, merely because he took pride and stored it in his ego, knowing that someone else saw the beautiful women or handsome men he could get. However, actually knowing Ryuichi was embarrassed about the situation was kind of funny. For he knew the shorter man was shy and bashful because of it, but it was different when he actually admitted to it. The declaration almost made him feel a little embarrassed about the whole thing as well. "Not really," he told.

Ryuichi groaned slightly and threw back his head, "Well I am," he said. "And it was Noriko, too. She will just go and tell everyone she knows about the whole thing. You know how women are," instructing Tatsuha like a child seemed a little weird and ironic. Tatsuha was the one who knew a lot more about women then him, but he let him continue on. After finishing his explanation, he turned to him, "what were you saying?"

 "What?" Tatsuha asked, he had not said a word. In a way, he was downright puzzled and the other, he tried to think of something to day.

Poking him in the stomach slightly, Ryuichi giggled. "When we were at my house, you said you had something to tell me. You started to say something but were cut off by Noriko-chan," he reminded him.

Tatsuha had plum forgotten about trying to confess to Ryuichi about Miyu. To actually think about it, maybe he was going to tell him that because he was so absorbed in their moment, and that he did not want to lie to him. Now, he was just too scared to see the outcome it would bring. However, past the whole Miyu serenade, he had to tell Ryuichi what he was feeling for him. In fact, he was going to tell him that before Noriko trampled in, anyways. Passing an ice cream stand, he tried to eye everything in sight except for the person he was going to talk to. To even look at his face would bring him down and make him freeze up. It was even harder because he was so oblivious to **all** of this, just like a child.

 "Well?" 

Taking a quick, hard grasp of Ryuichi's arm, Tatsuha dragged him over into an almost empty store, and looked into his eyes. "Sakuma Ryuichi, I really do need to tell you something," he swallowed hard; he decided to just skip the Miyu situation and go straight for his feelings. Scanning Ryuichi's face, he could see the intense anxiousness from what he wanted to hear, and the dash of confusion. All of this must be difficult for him; not knowing what Tatsuha was thinking yet would rag him to a secluded place as if it was a big deal. In addition, there was also a sense of fright in his face. It was true that he had not been informed of anything that had been happening between Tatsuha and Miyu, and little of how Tatsuha may be thinking about him. To Ryuichi, this just could be a talk about how Tatsuha would never want to see him again, ending their friendship. 

 "Ryuichi," he had to do it now. If he could not tell him now, he felt like he never could. Closing his mouth quickly, he dragged his face closer to his before continued, "I-"

 "Sakuma-san!" came a familiar voice, breaking Tatsuha off again. 

At that very moment, Tatsuha could have just fallen to the floor. His hands were on Ryuichi's shoulders and their faces were so close together for a kiss, and he was just about to tell him his feelings for him! In a way, he wanted to punch the exact person who ruined this moment.

 "Hold on just a minute," Ryuichi grinned at Tatsuha, patting his hand cutely. He looked over to see a friend of his, Shuichi. "Shu-chan?" he questioned him before running to him excitedly and giving him a huge hug.

Shuichi embraced his friend and started to talk to him about everything that had happened lately with things from Yuki to Bad Luck. "Also, Happy Belated Birthday," it was obvious he felt bad for not even calling Ryuichi up about it.

 "Thanks," Ryuichi found not damper in the whole fact he did not mention it on the exact date and just smiled, happy to see him. "Where is Yuki-san?" he asked, actually noticing that the blonde was not there with his lover.

Shuichi suddenly started to pout, putting on a grim face. "He wanted to stay home. He said that being seen with me in public will make his book sales go down," rolling his eyes, he finished, "I don't see why. He got more popularity because of our relationship being announced, and so did my band."

 "Ah, Eiri is just not a social person, he hates going anywhere," Tatsuha spoke up so that he was not forgotten, hoping to get Ryuichi's attention back. "Except for nightclubs, bars, and stores to buy cigarettes and beer."

Shuichi had to laugh at what his lover's younger brother just said, "Are you kidding me? He makes me go to those places _for_ him!"

 "He makes you go to nightclubs for him?" Tatsuha smirked, imagining Shuichi picking up women for his brother.

 "No," Shuichi quit his giggling, not wanting to think of Yuki hanging around there. "He makes me go and buy him cigarettes. One more year and he will make me go and buy him beer, too."

Ryuichi had to jump into the conversation, "Cigarettes are **bad** for your health," he preached. He was looking at Shuichi while saying this, but it was obvious who he was directing it towards. Many times had Tatsuha pulled out a cigarette in front of Ryuichi in his house, laid down on the couch and started to puff away.

 "Well," Tatsuha perked up in a giddy voice, "it's a good thing _I _don't smoke then." Of course, he got a look from Ryuichi that just shot out the words, 'yeah, right.' He could not help but smile. "Let's go," he grumbled, still frustrated with his declaration being interrupted.

The three of them found Noriko shortly after walking around and she was holding millions of full bags from different jewelry and clothes stores. With the money she had, it was no surprise of all the things she could have gotten. "I still need to get something for Tetsuya and Saki-chan," she looked at her watch to see how much time they had spent in the mall. Mumbling about what to get her husband and daughter, everyone else just watched in amazement on how she could still look at her watch without dropping one, single bag. "Well, let's go to the toy store first. Saki-chan told me she wanted something from the store," she said.

 "Toy store?" Ryuichi shimmered before running ahead of everyone and dashing straight into the store. He started to fumble with everyone, amazed at all the high-tech and normal toys that he could play with. Running over to some balls, he took one out and started to bounce it. "Noriko-chan, I want this!" he called to her, and then dropped the ball once he saw something more interesting, "Noriko-chan, I want _this_!"

Noriko shook her head at his childish behavior, "Ryu-chan, we are here to get something for my **daughter**," she informed him before looking at Shuichi and Tatsuha, who seemed to think Ryuichi's actions were cute, yet disturbing. "He does this every time we go to a toy store," he let them know before looking around the entire store for the toy her daughter told her about.

 "So," Shuichi kicked at the feet, trying to think of a conversation to start with Tatsuha. "I see you and Sakuma-san are good friends?"

Tatsuha looked down at him, "Yeah, we are. I stayed at his house last night and everything," he sunk into that though, thinking about the warmth and feeling of sleeping in the same bed with his God.

 "Oh," Shuichi said, looking as if something bothered him. "So I guess that means you and Amori-san are not getting married?"

 "**_What_**!?" Tatsuha jumped at his query. How the hell did Shuichi know about any of this? 

Shuichi seemed a little taken aback by his shouting, and seemed to feel beaten. He knew he most have said something wrong and just stuttered it again, "You are not getting married with Amori-san? Yuki told me about it, because Mika-san told him about it."

'_Of course_," Tatsuha thought. Miyu and Mika were really good friends and always told each other things about Tatsuha. Mika would share secrets about Tatsuha, while Miyu did the same for her. In addition, soon enough, Miyu had to tell Mika about the 'engagement' and she would go and chirp to Yuki, who probably could not stand the humor of it any longer before telling Shuichi. '_This sucks_,' he thought.

Hearing the shout from Tatsuha, Ryuichi had to come over and see what was happening, "What's wrong?" he asked, a toy figure in his hand. 

 "Oh, it's nothing," Tatsuha told him, waving him off to go and play.

Shuichi looked at Ryuichi too and smiled, "Yeah, it is no big deal. I was just seeing if Tatsuha was still going to get m-"

 "Oh man," Tatsuha shouted once more, startling them both to quit their conversation. Tatsuha seemed so jittery because of the fact he had to save his ass. "I forgot my homework at school," he said to them, hoping they would forget about the whole conversation.

Ryuichi just gave Tatsuha an awkward glance, noticing his strange atmosphere. He never really seen Tatsuha so jumpy and his face was flashing with something. "Now what, Shu-chan?"

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha began again, but with a lot more of a soothing tone. "Come one, I will buy you that toy."

 "Really?" he asked, bouncing up and down. Tatsuha had him right where he wanted him, and all he had to do was say he would buy him something he was wanting. Of course, he lost interest in the whole 'if Tatsuha was going to [whatever]' puzzle and was more happy about his toy. Walking up to the cashier, Tatsuha felt the weight off his shoulders fly away. Proud and happy, he asked, "How much is this?" pulling out the only money he had with him: twenty dollars, he waited for the ring up.

 "Thirty dollars, please." The middle-aged man asked politely.

  Once again, the weight decided to land on him again, making him feel as if he could fall to the floor at that time.

_____

 "That was tiring," Tatsuha yawned, opening the door for Ryuichi to walk in the house. Following in pursuit, Tatsuha walked straight to his friend, the couch and fell on it, face first. In fact, the way was tiring. Tatsuha spent his whole time making Shuichi not tell Ryuichi about Miyu while he was trying to Ryuichi about his feeling for him. Nothing came easy when it dealt with him and Ryuichi.

Ryuichi sat down next to him, playing his new bought toy, "Look on the bright side; Noriko bought me the toy," he said cutely. 

 "It is a damn toy," Tatsuha groaned with a mouthful of cushion, "why is it so much?"

Thinking about it as well, Ryuichi scanned the figure. It was not even that big or detailed, yet they priced it so high. It did seem a little outrageous for a toy that Ryuichi would probably forget about in a couple months or so. "I don't know," he shrugged before placing the toy down on the floor. Leaning into the head of the couch, he stared at Tatsuha, who seemed dead lying there. The couch almost seemed to be eating him in a way. "Don't you think your dad is wondering where you are?"

 "He is always praying or at religious ceremonies," Tatsuha countered, lifting his head up so he could see Ryuichi. "So, I guess not."

 "I'm sure he is," Ryuichi countered back, "You are his son, and you are still only seventeen."

Tatsuha did not want to hear anymore so he buried his face back into the couch, grabbed a pillow, and placed it over his head, "So?" he grumbled almost inaudibly. The couch system made him hardly hearable. 

 "I am just saying this," Ryuichi took the pillow of his head, just to see the back of his cranium; the rest was flat on the cushion. "Not to offend you or anything, but you just walking in my house and flopping on my couch is a little," he paused for a moment, "_weird_." 

A little offended, Tatsuha rolled over to lie down on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Even now, you could notice how empty this house was. "Not used to company this much, huh?" he asked him. Noriko and Tohma once explained about how he hardly has anyone over, so this was probably all new and as he said, 'weird' to him.

 "Not really," Ryuichi mused, a little ashamed of feeling that way. It wasn't exactly normal for someone to be like the way he was, and Tatsuha could have laughed at him. 

However, he didn't. Instead, he sat up and looked at Ryuichi. He was so delicate and broad, and his resemblance to Eiri Yuki was stunning. You could tell in his eyes and expressions that he was completely serious, yet a little melancholy for an unknown reason. Staring into Ryuichi's deep eyes he opened his mouth, "Should I leave, then?"

 "No," Ryuichi answered him as if he was crazy to ask that. "Sure, I am not used to company and sometimes I am a little bothered by it because it is different. However," he leaned in close to Tatsuha, "I like your company." 

His heart started to beat fast but he kept the same look on his face: serious. Ever since he started to be around Ryuichi, he could never say exactly what he wanted to. He would always freeze up because he was too frightened on what Ryuichi may think or say to him. He was even more afraid of what would happen between them. This time, he had to do it. "Why do you like my company?"

 "I don't know," Ryuichi said, quickly going further away from Tatsuha's face and sitting in a normal distance. It was the first time Tatsuha had ever seen him act this way. For once, Ryuichi actually seemed baffled at a question such as this. You could actually see one of his hands shaking and his eyes wander about. He was truly, utterly confused. Ryuichi himself did not even know what he felt for Tatsuha, and looking at his handsome face made everything he was feeling worse. Could he not live with out him? By saying he did not want him to leave, was it true? 

Averting his eyes right and left, Tatsuha made sure that they were alone. They were finally alone, it was almost unbelievable. The day he wanted to come out to Ryuichi was being bombarded with interruptions and now was he chance. "Would you mind if I bared my soul, and came right out and said something?" he asked Ryuichi a weird question, which obviously got Ryuichi confused as well.

Not knowing at all what to say, he looked up at him with glimmering eyes, "Yeah, you can," he told him, a little unsure of what he even meant.

 "You're beautiful," Tatsuha said deeply, not once thinking about how he would react. He did not care anymore; he just had to tell him. Feeling his heart beat faster and faster, it almost seemed to jump into his throat. 

In fact, Ryuichi was feeling the same way, even worse. All of these things were just happening to him without him knowing, and he was confused by it all. What did he feel for him? The compliment was a nice thing, but the look Tatsuha was giving him was a bit unnerving for him. He actually meant what he was saying with compassion, the exact emotion he held in his eyes right now. What should he say? What should he do? Every part of his body seemed to start trembling and his head was getting dizzy, "What?" he asked, making sure he heard right.

 "Just as I said," Tatsuha placed his hands on Ryuichi hips, and scooted him closer. Feeling Ryuichi's pants on his neck were tickling his senses, and he causes goose bumps to spread all over Ryuichi's body by just touching him. Noticing his quivering, Tatsuha just looked at his face. Before long, he leaned into to lock his own lips with his. It felt so good to actually kiss him again after these few days. Ryuichi's shivering soon stopped before he melt into the kiss, holding onto his own chest. 

Ryuichi's face was burning hot and Tatsuha was sure to feel it emitting directly from his cheeks. For a second, Ryuichi felt himself go really dizzy, enough to make him faint. All of this was so passionate and full of feeling; Ryuichi almost did not know exactly what to do. Suddenly, he felt Tatsuha index finger slide up to his bottom lip, tug down on it just a little so he could open his mouth. Sliding his tongue into Ryuichi's mouth, Tatsuha explored the place he never got to with him. Hearing a moan from Ryuichi once he brushed his tongue against his was obvious he was enjoying. Kissing with tongue must have been something new for Ryuichi, seeing as he hardly moved his tongue at all. It did ruin the thought of it just a little, but being able to do such a thing with Ryuichi was good enough.

 Taking his tongue out of his mouth, he pecked his lips sweetly before sitting back up to look into Ryuichi's eyes. "Wow," was all that Ryuichi could say, whole face a dark color of red. 

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha smiled, thinking his reaction was the most adorable thing he ever seen. "I need to tell you something. Something I was trying to tell you all day."

Once more, Ryuichi seemed to stiffen up and started to quiver, "Is it bad?" seemingly, that is all he really wanted to know.

 "Depends on how you feel about it," this time, Tatsuha started to become frightened. What he said was true, and that is what made him scared. If Ryuichi did not feel the way he did, I guess it would be bad for the both of them. Gathering up his courage, he quickly hugged Ryuichi, "Will you forgive me because I feel this way?" feeling a nod on his shoulder, he got away from the embrace to look Ryuichi face-to-face. 

 "I love you."

The silence between them seemed to last forever. Tatsuha just looked at Ryuichi's face for any signs of feeling at all. Ryuichi, on the other, just looked shocked at his sudden declaration. His heart skipped a beat and another, blushing wildly, he had nothing to say. What he felt for Tatsuha was unknown to even himself and his own heart. Looking at Tatsuha, he saw the faint blush on his face and a little bit of pessimism, knowing he was going to get thrown down. 

 "I'm sorry," Ryuichi began, tears forming in his eyes. Tatsuha quickly looked away; his whole face seemed to cringe up in pain and heartbreak. He knew he could never get what he truly wanted. Lifting his head down, he brought his hands to his eyes to wipe the tears. Crying, he explained, "This is just so confusing, Tatsuha-kun. When I am with you, I feel happy and whole and worthless when I am without you. But, I don't love you. I just know that I don't, I just can't bring myself to feeling that way for you, even if I tried. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I am sorry," he whimpered. "The only thing I see you as is a friend. That's it," he finished.

 "I kind of figured that," Tatsuha cringed through a strained breathe. Even in his voice, you could tell he was on the brink of crying. '_Nothing will ever change for me,_' he thought, '_I can never be who I really want to be, being with who I dream to be with. Other people can only make me who I am, just like being married._'

 "Tatsuha-kun," Ryuichi sniffed, "even if I don't love you as you do me, will you still stay with me? Stay here with me like you have been doing?" having Tatsuha gone would leave him alone again, and his heart could not take it. He lived in this house all by himself, with Noriko and Tohma coming and going. However, Tatsuha seemed so much different. Whenever he would leave, he would feel so empty and lost. Losing Tatsuha now would almost seem he would lose part of himself, as well.

The question was a hard one to accomplish an answer for. Tatsuha only liked being with Ryuichi because of how he felt for him, but now he felt as if he could not even show his face around him anymore. Remembering back to when he almost told Ryuichi about him and Miyu, he wished he had just told him right then and there. However, he did not tell him because he just wanted to stay with Ryuichi as long as possible.

Shouldn't he feel that way now, too? He loved Ryuichi; he had just admitted that to him and himself, as well. The reason he did not tell Ryuichi about Miyu was because he wanted to be with him as much a possible, which he **should** be feeling like now. However, there almost seemed to be a void there where he used to hold that desire. Did he not want to be with him anymore? He was so unsure. Looking at Ryuichi's crying face, reality hit him hard. To leave Ryuichi would mean to leave the person he loved, and in pursuit, would probably hurt Ryuichi just as much as it would he. It was foolish of him to actually think about leaving the actual, one person he felt this way for.

Then again, he was a fool. A fool in love with the most wonderful man he has met, and he would never just walk out on that. Not now, not ever. Taking his hand and wiping a few tears from Ryuichi's eyes, he could see a small smile form on the older man's face. Ryuichi felt a little bit of happiness once again, just by feeling the warmth of Tatsuha's skin.

"Of course I will stay with you, Ryuichi," Tatsuha finally answered, rubbing his soft face. "I will stay with you as long as you want me to."

To the both of them, they hoped that meant forever.

      END Chapter 8

 Damn, I'm good. Well, Tatsuha finally confessed his feelings for Ryuichi. Yet, Ryuichi only sees friendship for him. Will that change? I seriously don't know yet, but I have some goodies coming up soon! 

 Now, reviews! (I want more.) 

**Woodsie: **Holy spaghetti, I love getting comments that I write well. This fanfic is based on the manga, except for around the end. Because, if it was, Ryuichi would not be there for one reason. In addition, yes, the manga is a lot better than the anime in my opinion. I had volume 1-12 and I treasure them like my demon children. And to my point, I really LOVE your reviews. Seriously.

**Noali: **Thanks for the praise. Now, you are my slave. Mwaha! Um, the manga in Japan is unfinished and stopped at volume 12, Murakami-sama said she would finish it later but there have been no signs yet. What inspired me to write? Uh, I don't know. I have always enjoyed reading and writing, and to the question of why I like Gravitation: I am weird. Everyone who likes Gravitation is weird, Hun. Lol. Actually, I am bisexual and a friend of mine introduced me to the manga series a long time back. Also, did I feel your need on Ryuichi in this chapter? Seriously, just to let you know, I am buckling Ryuichi down until later. Once we get there, we are going to see a lot of descriptions of Ryuichi's feelings and thought. So, just wait.

**Cherry-Wolf: **Didn't let you? So, FF.Net really IS evil, after all! Uhh... Just kidding. Tatsuha+Ryuichi+Bed=Good. Yes, yes. Wow, someone who actually likes the triangle. Everyone seems to hate Miyu, and you feel the same way about her as I do. Great minds think a like, huh? After all, since your favorite character is Tatsuha, you are a complete Einstein. You think it is awesome because I am male? *laughs* Oh yes, be amazed at me and my shlong!

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **NOOO! Miyu, my baby! I raised her from a little semicolon. Heh, anyways, I assure you that they are going to do something soon. I need to zip my lips now.

**PikuPiku: **Thanks. Seeing as Tatsuha admitted his love for Ryuichi in this chapter, I hope you like it. I am not sure if they will get more lovey-dovey or not. I will just have to see what I think about that, ne?

**Karura:** I am glad that you mean it when you said you liked my story. Uh, it would have been weird for you to say, "Just kidding!" at the end of your review, lol. Um, no, this fanfic is not finished at all. I am slowly working on it and it won't be done for a while now. Thanks for the review, by the way.

**zeli17: ***gets praised* Yes, you do.

**NymAulth: **Thank you so much! I try to make my characters react and seem just like real people would in these kinds of situations. I love Miyu, also. She may be a bitch, but I am very fond of her and everything. Also, I hope Ryuichi does not find out at all, really. It may sound weird, but I don't want him to. Yeah, Tatsuha is a little rude to Miyu, but after being with her for years on end, they seem to get along sometimes, and fight the rest of the time.

**The Dark Neko:** lol, this is the first person that I know of that actually squeals while reading my story. That is so cute! Draw fan art of this, Oh man. That would be so awesome, I am serious. I can just see a picture of Tatsuha and Ryuichi hugging romantically and Miyu peeking behind a tree with evil, red glowing eyes and fangs. Har-Har!

**Komioji Fin: **lol, obviously Ryuichi did buy Tatsuha's "April fools". Then again, this is Ryuichi we are talking about. Thanks for the comment. Also, I did not even like writing about Tatsuha and Miyu getting friendly. I like Miyu, but… no.

**Zufu-chan: **It is nice to impress people with my **manliness**! Uh, I mean... **_fanfic_**. Minions? Wow, I wish had some. All of mine prefer to sit on the couch all day and eat Doritos. Heh, yeah, Ryuichi would only hug meh! ^-^  Coffee? Pixistix? Holy moly, you are my new best friend!

 **Now, your moment of Zen:**

In this chapter, Shuichi told Ryuichi a "Happy Belated Birthday", and in fact, I should be saying the exact same thing to Shuichi. Yesterday was his birthday, and he would be around 26 now. However, in MY story he is 20!

**Shuichi: **I can't believe you forgot your favorite character's birthday!

No I didn't. Tatsuha's birthday is December 21, silly.

**Shuichi: **Never mind. *rolls eyes*

**Tatsuha: ***runs over* Have you guys seen the latest Gravitation Drama CD cover?

**Tohma: **No, I haven't.

Where the hell did you come from?

**Tohma: ***smiles*

Uh, right. Anyways, Yes! I have seen the cover and it is BOOTEHLICIOUS!!! If you have not seen this cover, you should be condemned to hell, all of you!!

**Shuichi: **KB, it is just a CD cover. *sweat drops*

**Tatsuha and KB**: *long, hard, evil glare*

**Miyu: ***jumps at Tatsuha* Let me see it, let me see it! 

Oh, Miyu, hi! The character everyone loves to hate is here. 

**Miyu: ***looks at cover and instantly grows fangs* TATSUHA-KUN! What is the meaning of this!?!

**Tatsuha: **Oh shit, those red eyes and fangs could only mean one thing: PMS.

Okay, this is getting almost too stupid for me.

**Ryuichi: ***walks in*Hi, everybody!

Now is a time to end this chapter, see you next time!

**Ryuichi**: *insulted* Hey!

 Gravitation is owned my Maki Murakami, and don't eat peanuts.


	9. Changes

 A lot of people like my **Moment of Zen**, but I am not adding them anymore. I did that one out of boredom, so I doubt one will come up again. Sorry everyone.

 On a much smaller note, I mentioned something about you guys giving me hope if the person I asked out said 'yes'. Well, it turns out that that person accepted and I am dating! To tell you the gender, I am not going to say.

**Gravitation** © Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 9**

 For some reason, everything seemed to change. Not the seasons or the surroundings around Tokyo, but in Ryuichi's house. It had been almost a week since Tatsuha actually avowed to Ryuichi about his love for him and all in all, lots of things changed after that. Tatsuha would mostly stay down stairs, relaxing on his favorite couch, watching television, and smoking through a pack or two of cigarettes each day. Having a sense of foreboding, he would usually go home after school to visit with his father for a few hours and pray with him, and sometimes would even stay there for the whole weekend.

 Ryuichi always seemed 'busy' all the time. Ever since finding out how Tatsuha felt for him, he would usually be found in his room behind a closed door, writing lyrics. If he was not operating there, he would be at NG Studios working. The times he would come down stairs would be to get something to eat, drink, find something of his, or talk on the phone; which would usually be about work. He seemed so quite around the house, and even if he was energetic, it was all happening in his room.

Through all of this, however, did not make the two of them stop from communing to one another. About every day they would find enough time to stir up something to talk about, no matter the causes. Ryuichi would usually traverse to him, sit down next to him, and they would just start to talk for hours. Tatsuha would always confront him whenever he spotted him outside of his room and converse with him, along side listening to everything he had to say. He knew better to try and talk to him while he was working in his room. However, all of this seemed a little foreign to the both of them. Something seemed out of place because of all these new changes. Never had Ryuichi been so conjured up in his work ever before, especially to be in his room for hours because of it. In addition, Tatsuha always said that he cared to never go home and that his father could careless, but he always seemed to go and stay there a long time each day. Truthfully, they hardly saw each other anymore.

It was true that they both had a bad feeling about what may happen if feelings between them came around, and now, it seems they thought right. 

 "No," Tatsuha spoke, holding his cell phone close to his face. Grabbing the hanging cigarette from his lips, he exhaled a large amount of streaming smoke before putting the stick right back in. "I told you to wait until tomorrow for that," he tried to explain to the person on the other line. Looking about, he stared down at Kumagorou who was absently sitting at the small table in the middle of the room. The bunny must have been left by Ryuichi when he was last downstairs looking for a different pen. Bending over, he grabbed the pink object and started to fiddle with it, all the while listening to the person on his phone. "Whatever," he said, "just don't tell her anything about it. She will freak," he smirked.

 "Where could he be?" came a small voice from the stairs. Ryuichi trotted down, looking left and right with each step. Looking into the main room, he instantly paused once he saw Tatsuha talking on the phone and with Kumagorou in his hands. Not wanting to disturb the conversation at all, he just walked in viewing range for Tatsuha. "Um," he mumbled.

Noticing his presence, Tatsuha looked up at his face and tried to listen to the phone at the same time. Acknowledging Ryuichi, he signaled for just 'one second' with his index finger before going right back to his conversation. 

 "Eichiro, listen. I will talk to you about this tomorrow, okay? I don't exactly have the time right now and I have to let you go," his eyes drifted back to the anxious man standing in front of him. After hearing a response, his hand was getting started to drift away, "All right, later," he finished before pulling the phone away and pressing the small button to end the call. After placing his cell phone down, he instantly took out his half smoked cigarette and put it out in his ashtray. After being around Ryuichi so much, he knew how much he hated the smell of cigarettes. "What's wrong?" he asked him, wondering why he was acting the way he was.

Placing himself on the couch next to Tatsuha, he deliberately took Kumagorou out of his hands and into his own, "This!" he squealed, hugging his pal. "I just realized that he was gone so I came down to find him," he explained thoroughly to Tatsuha, "he helps me think of lyrics." 

 "Is that where all those thoughtful, deep lyrics come from," Tatsuha snickered, looking at the bow tied rabbit, "a stuffed, pink bunny?"

Ignoring his comment at all costs, Ryuichi slid off the couch cushion and fell to the floor, lying down. "Who were you talking to?" he asked, although he heard Tatsuha speak the person's name, he was still curious.

 "Eichiro, a friend of mine," he informed him, resisting the urge to pull out another cigarette. "We were talking about a few people and things going on at school."

Pulling Kumagorou's ears up and down, Ryuichi was a little suspicious of what Tatsuha spoke of, "People? Were you two talking about me?"

 "No," he admitted flatly. It would have been a little strange for him to talk about Ryuichi to Eichiro, when he did not even know that he practically lived with him in the first place. Surfing through the television channels, he found no problem in actually telling Ryuichi the truth, "You remembering Miyu from the zoo, don't you? That is who we were talking about."

Taking a quick second to gather his thoughts, it struck him on who Miyu was, "Amori-san?" he questioned, "did something happen to her?"

 "I wish," Tatsuha let the harsh phrase slip. However, he was relieved not to get a look from Ryuichi, and sighed partially. "He was telling me that she will be hanging out with me and Eichiro tomorrow. Also, she is supposed to call me in the morning."

 "You are always hanging out with people," Ryuichi emphasized, "when was the last time you actually spent the whole day here?"

A little taken back, Tatsuha really did have to think of that one. It had been awhile since he did stay here for almost twenty-four hours, but he never knew Ryuichi would ever care about that. Hell, he never really saw a reason to spend his whole days in the house where Ryuichi lived when the man never hardly came down the stairs. Conjuring up his thoughts, he actually remembered one day, "Sunday," he answered. 

 "Yeah," Ryuichi could not deny that fact. Throwing Kumagorou up and catching him, he had something to throw back at Tatsuha, "and all you did that day was smoke, drink, and watch television."

 "I 'smoke, drink, and watch television' _everyday _here," he countered him back, leaving him a little speechless. Getting a malice look from Ryuichi, as if to tell him he should be doing more each day, he smiled. "Hey, that is not the only things I do; I **shower**." 

Finding the perfect moment, Ryuichi tightened his grip on Kumagorou and tossed him right at Tatsuha, having the bunny smash right in his face. "Get a job," he teased.

 "I still have to go through school," Tatsuha teased back, tossing Kumagorou back to him. "School in itself is worse than work!"

Catching Kumagorou, Ryuichi giggled jauntily, tossing it right back to him. "Well, at least do something! You always just lie around here and do nothing. It is not like you are my _husband _or something."

"…." Tatsuha let Kumagorou fall to his face, stunned at what Ryuichi just said. After seeing his own expression, Ryuichi also went dead quiet. It seemed a little weird to joke about something like that when they both knew one loved the other.  The silence was a little agitating, but to speak would probably bring up even more alien thoughts. Breaking the ice, Tatsuha tried to continue the usual teasing, "So that makes you the _wife_?" he giggled, tossing Kumagorou to him.

 The pink bunny soared over and landed right into Ryuichi's lap. Instead of catching him that time, he just let him fall on him without giving a second glance. Pondering for what seemed like five minutes; he got to his feet and started to scoot slowly across the carpet. "I'm going upstairs," he spoke under his breath, ascending up the staircase.

 "Shit," Tatsuha groaned, punishing himself mentally for saying what he had. Taking out a cigarette once he heard Ryuichi's door shut, he lit it up and took a long exhale. "I fucked up again," the smoke flowed out of his lips, floating to the ceiling. 

 After many trips to the kitchen and grabbing a sandwich or fixing up some ramen, Tatsuha found himself dashing across the house in boredom. No wonder he always wanted to leave and hang out with his friends. After you get so familiar with this house and get enough of Ryuichi's expensive things, everything gets so dull that you just have to get out. Even in his own house, Tatsuha never could stay at one place for so long, especially if nothing exciting happened there. And, in this case, nothing exciting had happened for awhile. 

 Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rang. Jerking around, Tatsuha started to reach to the door. It was a little weird for someone to be coming over before calling beforehand, unless it was Noriko or Tohma. Knowing that is was either the two of them, he sighed and opened the door quickly, "What do you want?" he asked dryly. 

 A fast breeze soared across his fast and past him into the wall, creating a large sound by the time the door even opened. The force brought on a smell that stunk of new coins and smoke. Jumping immediately from the very sound, Tatsuha growled at the person standing on the doormat, unsure of what just flew right past him, almost hitting him right in the face. "What the **hell** was that for!?" he demanded to know, his body on attack mode.

 "Target practice," a soothing, manly voice spoke up. Strangely enough, the words he spoke were in complete English and left Tatsuha dumbfounded. There stood a man with long, blonde hair in a ponytail. Tall and mysterious, he held a gun in his curled fingers, smoke emitting from the pistol. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he found no hesitation whatsoever to walk right into the house and trot into the main room.

With his front side still staring down the entrance of the house, his suspiciousness grew reverent. Never had he seen this man before. Swiftly turning around to see the blonde looking around the house, gun still in hand, he cleared his throat loudly. "Excuse me, who are you?" he asked with no mannerism at all. 

 "Ryuichi!" the tall man shouted aloud for the vocalist, ignoring Tatsuha's question. Feeling the very essence of annoyance shooting at him from the man behind him, he waved his hand in the air. "Don't fret Japanese boy," he mocked in a completely different language than Japanese, "I am K, one of Ryuichi's friends."

Not knowing a single word the strange man said except for 'K' and 'Ryuichi', Tatsuha was still curious on who the man was, and why he just stormed inside of the house. Having Ryuichi jump down the stairs with a rather large grin on his face, jump at the man with a shout of, "K!" made Tatsuha even more confused.

 "Ryuichi, how are you?" the man named K asked, actually speaking in Japanese for Tatsuha to understand.

Wrapping his arms around K, Ryuichi gave him a huge embrace, "I'm great! How are Judy and Michael?" he was a little curious of how his wife and son were doing back in America. Through the entire embrace, he never even noticed the look Tatsuha was giving.

 "They are doing okay," K stuck his gun into its holder, strapped around his waist. Rubbing his palms together in hope of getting rid of the gun smell, he inspected the household. Spotting the ashtray full of cigarettes, his speech went right back to English, "You are a smoker now?"

As one who could actually understand English very well, Ryuichi comprehend every word he seemed to have said. Extending his arm out wide, his thumb pointed straight at Tatsuha. "No, he does," he replied back in perfect English. 

 "I see," he said. Glancing at Tatsuha, he stretched his hand out in front of the younger man. "I am sorry," he told him in a language he could understand, "I did not introduce myself before. I am K," he shook his hand.

Tatsuha could not help but feel a grudge of some sort against him. He just shot at gun at him, ran into the house, and got a hug from Ryuichi, all the while acting as if Tatsuha was invisible to the human eye. Shaking his hand just to be friendly, he gave a look over to the short man hoping up and down in one spot, as if asking for him to explain everything.

 "Tatsuha-kun," Ryuichi seemed to get the message clearly, "You even said that I was not used to that much company, remember?" he tried to give him a good image of when he had told him, "Even I said that I did not like it in a weird way. So, I decided to have K stay the night just to try and get used to company!"

One way, Tatsuha thought it all made pretty good sense for him to try something like this. However, the other side was more dominant, and it was thinking his company to Ryuichi was enough. Scanning the invited guest, he just did not like something about him, "Whatever."

 "Don't be glum," K chirped, his hand reaching at the gun he had just put away. "We are going to have lots of fun tonight. With me, you can guarantee it!"

 "I doubt it," Tatsuha insulted underneath his breath. Luckily, K was too busy polishing his gun with his shirt sleeve to even hear what he had said. He would have gotten away with the insult, except Ryuichi had his full attention to whatever was on his mind. He sure was not happy to hear what was on his mind this time around, though.

Curling up his nose in disgust, Ryuichi stomped up to Tatsuha to look at him right in the face. Why he had a problem with K was beyond him, but it was not stopping him from finding out. "What's the matter with you?" he asked pretty bluntly, "You have no reason to be rude."

 "Yes I do," he snapped back, leaning down to Ryuichi's level. Thinking of a good reason quick, he slapped his hand on his own chest, "You invited some weird American over without my notice!"  
Trying to keep their conversation to a whisper, Ryuichi placed his fists on his shoulders, "When did I start having to tell you who was coming to my house? Besides, **you** were the one who pointed out on how I never have company," he finished proudly.

 "Must be pretty close to hug him like that," he said, changing the subject to the main thing that bugged him. Not even looking at Ryuichi, in his eyes you could almost see the envious, brat like child running around, screaming. 

Shocked at what he had just said, Ryuichi gave him a queer look. "_That_ is what your attitude is about?" he asked in a much more softer tone, getting out of his feminine, girlfriend like, and scarily enough, motherly like demeanor. Even when he had hugged K, he did not think anything of it. "Listen, I'm sorry. I did not know you would get so easily jealous," trying to look on the bright side, he took Tatsuha's chin and turned his head so he could look at him, "Besides, maybe you can get to know K."

 "I'm not jealous," was the only thing he responded to before turning his back to the side. Hearing that from the way he acted was practically the most ignorant thing to say with a person with eyes. 

Hearing a small click, the both of them looked over to see K holding up his gun. He was walking around with his gun aimed, looking through the target hole. Slowly walking around the carpet, he made sure to not trip over any scattered objects. Noticing he was being watched, he laughed uncontrollably, "Well, how about we all go out for a drink?" knowing a much better way to con people into going to bars, he grabbed out a handful of yen from his pocket, "I'll pay!"  
 "Sure," Ryuichi gave him a fake smile good enough to fool anybody. At the moment, he was more focused on Tatsuha sharpening up his mood, "See, he is a good guy. We can all go the bar and have fun, and you can try and get along with him." Walking off to put on his shoes, he poked at Tatsuha cutely, "You always complain that I never have beer in the house, so at least he is taking us somewhere you will enjoy."

Watching the two of them get ready, Tatsuha just stood there with no care whatsoever on going. Ryuichi and his _good friend_ could just leave, get drunk, and stay at a hotel together for all he cared for. Ryuichi did not even love him after all, and it was a little nerve-racking for Ryuichi to think he could tell Tatsuha what to do just because the boy loved him. Wait, he basically obeyed him when he did! 

 Defeated, Tatsuha walked and slipped on his shoes. Grumbling to himself, he watched the blonde walk out the door and hop into his fancy car, laughing and shooting his gun into the air along the way. "I will go," he growled loud enough for only Ryuichi to hear, "but I am **not** going to even speak to that guy, I hate him already!"  
Turning around at the sound of his very voice, Ryuichi smiled that he decided to come along even if he would not speak to K. Waiting for Tatsuha to catch up, he could not help but laugh at his slow steps and long face. Never had Tatsuha been so sluggish when alcohol was involved.

__________

 A large slam against the wall indicated that the three of them had returned to the house, and loud noises of chatter ensued. Drunken slurs amongst their speech were sure signs that they had a lot to drink. In fact, it was almost three in the morning! 

 "Oh," Tatsuha said. Giving a weird look at K, he walked up to him like a predatory beast, lifted his arm, and laid it on his shoulders, "I love you, man!" chummily walking into the house, with a beer can in hand, he can K started to hum together before falling onto the couch and busted out into giggles.

His hair a complete mess, K sat up straight on the couch, chatting up a storm. He was so drunk that he hardly spoke any Japanese, and was almost speaking English completely. "That was so much fun, Tatsuha. Remember that dumb ass who almost stole my beer?"

 "Yeah," Tatsuha rewound the exact thought, laughing. "You shot him, remember?"

K pulled out his gun, having it glimmer in the emitting light from the ceiling. Boasting scornfully, he puffed out his chest, "The guy should know better than to try and steal Mr. K's beer!"

Pulling himself into the door, Ryuichi gasped for air once he entered. Not even the least bit intoxicated, he just looked at the two men talking twenty miles per hour and shook his head. H had to run to catch up with them, seeing as they found it 'fun' to run back to the house, almost as a race. Of course, K was too drunk to even think about his car that he left at the bar. "Both of them are drunk, and I did not even have a drop," Ryuichi said, although he hardly even drank anyways.

 "Hey baby," Tatsuha slurred seductively once he saw Ryuichi. Once he saw Ryuichi's whole face go red, he grinned. "Finally got here?"

Trying to make the color of his face go back, he started to fan his face down with his hand. The whole thing did not help even a little. "Yeah, seeing as you guys ran," he gave them both a glare.

 "Speaking of which," K spoke up, "I won!"

Tatsuha instantly could not put down a challenge, "Bullshit, K. I am the champion and everyone knows it," he grinned, playfully punching him in the shoulder.

 "Nice to see you have found a friend in K, Tatsuha-kun." Ryuichi smiled, happy to see that Tatsuha could befriend anyone with a little beer added into the atmosphere.

 "I've always liked him!" Tatsuha shouted a little too loud, as if no one was in speaking distance. Looking back and forth from Ryuichi and K, Tatsuha finally got the courage to actually as K, "How do you know each other?"

 "Ex manager and ex bodyguard," the blonde grabbed his can of beer and vacuumed the rest of what was inside. Refreshed, he cleared his throat, "you never heard of me? I work for Bad Luck now, but I was always such good friends with Ryuichi. We even went to America together because of his solo talent," he tried to make Tatsuha remember anything about that.

Half-drunk and half-serious, Tatsuha leaned in closer to try and get some dirt, "are you two close?"

 "Yes, of course!" he slurred in English, "You could almost say Ryuichi and I are boyfriends," he laughed maniacally.

 "What?" Tatsuha growled. Even if he was drunk, it would not stop him from knowing when to be under control, and when to kick ass! 

Ryuichi glared at K, "Shut up, K. We have never done anything more than hugged," he admitted truthfully. Looking over at the enflamed Tatsuha, he gave him a look to not worry.

 "Sure," K said sarcastically, grabbing Tatsuha's beer can and drinking straight out of it. Tatsuha never really seemed to notice, either. He seemed to be having a hard time deciding whether Ryuichi or K was right about their 'close' friendship.

It did not take long before K dozed off, mouth agape and his snoring ensued. He had taken accustom to 'Tatsuha's couch', stretched out fully on the furniture and his gun in hand. Finding the perfect cloth, Ryuichi placed a cover over his him. Tatsuha sat in the chair, watching television and taking a drink every three minutes or so from his beer. A cigarette hung low in between his fingers, occasionally rising so he could inhale, then exhale the smoke. Ryuichi, on the other hand, was too busy cleaning up from the two drunkards. It was a little strange of him not to complain about Tatsuha smoking when he was around; then again, they both had been quite for awhile.

"You can sleep with me if you want," Ryuichi spoke up. Throwing the cans of beer away, he started to brush though his hair using his fingers.

Taking one last puff from his cigarette, he scrunched it down in the ashtray, watching the large amount of smoke spurge out from it. K had taken his sleeping spot for the night, and he had no place to go to. "I don't know," he thought, "maybe I will sleep in this chair."

 "Come on," Ryuichi tried to make him think otherwise, "your back will hurt by morning if you do. Just because things have changed between us does not mean we can't sleep together."

 "It doesn't?" he echoed, a little curious of why he thought so.

Grabbing his hair band, he pulled it out to let the back of his hair fall down. He looked so gorgeous with his whole hair down, almost angelic. Something that always stood out about Ryuichi was his hair. It was at the perfect length and always seemed so light and exactly in good condition. His bangs hung over his forehead, and a few pieces would slightly swing above his eyes. He almost looked more mysterious than cute. "If you don't want to," he implied, "you don't have to."

 "I want to," Tatsuha spoke from his heart, "I just don't know if I should." However, whether he knew or not, he instantly got off the chair and to over Ryuichi. "Seeing as I am allergic to back pains, you have a sleeping partner."

Something told Tatsuha Ryuichi was happy, even if he did not smile when he told him. Some kinds of feeling inserted into his own body, making him almost feel Ryuichi's own happiness. It was such a good feeling. "Come on," Ryuichi murmured to him, grabbing his hand and the two of them ascending the stairway and into his room.

 Turning on the light, Tatsuha scanned the room to see the differences since the last time he had been in here. Thousands of papers were scattered across his room and a pile of those papers were on a small desk near his window. On the floor there were the usual line of toys he played with, but his bed was covered in papers. Kumagorou was even drowning in a pile of scrunched up, and thrown balls of paper. Tatsuha had always wondered if Ryuichi was even working up here at all, and the sight of his room gave him a pretty good answer.

 "Sorry about the mess," Ryuichi seemingly had forgotten about the mess. Dashing back and forth, he tried his best to pick up all the papers. Looking from the corner of his eyes, he saw Tatsuha picking up some of the papers as well. Turning one of the papers over to see what was written, Ryuichi ran over and snatched the paper out of his hands, and "don't read that!" he bellowed, scaring Tatsuha.

Tatsuha did not even say anything. Blinking, he could only imagine what the paper contained on it, probably a lot of feelings and thoughts of Ryuichi's. Knowing that more than half the papers were about him made him worry, especially when he acted like that about him seeing it. "Sorry."

 "It's okay," tossing the many papers at his desk and proceeding to his bed, Ryuichi never took his eyes off Tatsuha. "Doing lyrics is kind of personal. I don't like anyone to know what they say until they hear me sing them aloud," it was a little corny for him to feel a way such as that, but it seemed almost so humane. Many people write things in journals about their personal life and how they feel, but do not want anyone to know what they have written until someone had heard them say exactly what they wrote, or something along the feeling of what they had written. Pulling his covers back, Ryuichi seemed so focused on the mattress while taking his pants off, remaining in his shirt and boxers. Wiggling his way into the soft, warm bed, he laid his head on the pillow.

Not helping himself from the very sight of Ryuichi lying in bed, Tatsuha promptly pulled his shirt off and thrown it the ground beside him. Finding the light switch, he darkened the room by hitting the switch down suddenly, and walked over to the bed. Shocking Ryuichi, he tossed himself on the vacant spot of the bed next to Ryuichi. Making noises from the impact, Tatsuha soon got comfortable in his spot.

 Holding Kumagorou close, Ryuichi breathed on the stuffed doll, making the fabric absorb the heat from each breathe. Listening for any kind of movement at all, his eyes started to close in one him. Without him even knowing, two hands drifted across his waist and cradled him right below his bellybutton. The sensation of skin instantly made him wake up from the nap, making him jitter. Tatsuha had already pulled him close to his own body, his chest pressed against his back, and his hands rubbing his sides soothingly.

 "Tatsuha-kun," Ryuichi gasped from the shock, "what are you doing?"

Sliding his hands upward, he covered Ryuichi's mouth tightly, whispering quietly in his ear from behind as he presses the back of Ryuichi's head to his shoulder. 

 "Calm down. It is so much more enjoyable if you are relaxed."

It was easy for him to say, but Ryuichi was in a much more uncomfortable position. Squirming a little to try and get free, Ryuichi made pathetic whimpers from his covered mouth. His pace only to quicken, Tatsuha brought his lips to his neck, licking it thoroughly and tasting every essence of the vocalist. For that, Ryuichi only tried to escape even more but dared not to even make another noise. The whole sensation did not help anything, seeing as the endless movement from Ryuichi only caused the backside of him to rub against Tatsuha's hips and lower regions, sending him into groans of pleasure. Not knowing what to do, Ryuichi was good as helpless when it came to this situation. Feeling a hand wriggle up his shirt and trickle down his abdomen caused a fuzzy feeling go down his entire spine. Close against Tatsuha's chest, he could feel the younger male's heart pounding as fast as his own was going. They have never been this close before and it all seemed so weird.

 "This feels nice," Tatsuha rasped in a deep voice, pressing his lower region against Ryuichi harder. He had already let Ryuichi's mouth free a couple minutes ago because of the consistent aching moan he had been purring on the palm of his hand was enough proof that he was not going to scream anytime soon. Searching all over Ryuichi's body with his hands, they found themselves occupied by quirking with his shirt.

Not even daring enough to speak a word during all of this, Ryuichi remained quite with his head up high. His eyes strained in the entire pressure and his mouth would occasionally open slightly to release large amounts of breath. Wrapping his legs with Tatsuha's was a sure sign that he was enjoying all of it, and indeed wanted it to continue. "Tatsuha," he grunted hoarsely. Actually getting enough free space, turned himself around to look at Tatsuha in the face. His whole breathe smelled of smoke and beer, which was probably one of the reasons he was even doing this to him. At this point of time, Ryuichi did not really seem to care as he kissed him. Grinding slowly in pure pleasure, their tongues would compete for a dominance that was obviously figured out between the two of them physically. 

 Engulfed in heat, Tatsuha scratched the covers off of his body forcefully and scrambled on top of Ryuichi, all the while never unlocking their lips. Tugging at Ryuichi's shirt blindly, he got it over his head and threw it to the floor. Feeling heat from his skin seemed to be the best thing he had ever felt and started to kiss along his jawbone, traveling down his neck and to his chest. Hearing the distinctive moans from Ryuichi only made Tatsuha more lust filled for his body as he licked an invisible line down his chest to his lower stomach. Traveling back up in light pecks, he put his attention to the small, perky nipple. Nibbling and licking, the reaction he got was much more than satisfactory.

 "Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi moaned, grabbing tightly at locks of the raven hair, his feet burning from the hard rubbing and squirming against the covers. Breathing out of line, they were long and hard. Once Tatsuha moved to the other nittle, another large moan escaped his raspy mouth. Making a courageous move, he started to fiddle with Tatsuha's belt, tugging and pulling at the device that seemed so complicated in this position.

Knowing exactly what he wanted, Tatsuha grinned and undid his belt for Ryuichi to pull his pants off, letting his own legs be free for more movement without the hard sensation of the jeans. "Ryuichi," he actually moaned out his name, pulling himself closer to kiss him. Everything they had done in the past could never compare to the moment they were sharing now. Their bodies were so close, their hearts beating at the same time, and their breaths collapsed against each other's. Everything was so intimate even if they were full of lust, it was all worth while. Sliding his hands down Ryuichi's slick boxers, he grabbed a hold of Ryuichi's already hard erection.

 "Tatsuha," was the only thing he could say. He could hardly even speak. Hell, he could hardly breathe. Everything seemed to be in such a groggily, hazed state of mind that he could barely feel the bed he was laying in. Once Tatsuha had grabbed him, he gasped for air and grunted in ecstasy. He did not want any of this to stop, but he did not want it to happen.

 Without saying another word, Tatsuha sped up the rhythm. Ryuichi squeezed his eyes shut and started to kick his feet down from the intensity. Biting down on his lower lip, he did not know how much more he could take. His whole body had the need of release and could barely hold out any longer. His knees started to quiver as Tatsuha quickened his pace. He pumped over the length in long, smooth strokes, making silent purrs come from Ryuichi. 

He kept building up by each stroke, quivering more and more by the time Tatsuha started to go even faster. All of this seemed so _wrong_, but felt _so_ good! Never had he known the joyous feeling while getting this done by someone else. His cheeks flushed far passed a normal red color, he gasped for air once he was on the brink of holding himself back. Tatsuha seemed to notice his desperate actions and take his strokes to a new quick, rubbing the head of his erection.

 "Tatsuha…-kun," Ryuichi moaned under a strained breath, letting him self be released. Jolting his eyes open once he came, he could almost scream of his actions. To actually ejaculate on another guy's hand was pretty embarrassing to say the least, and his boxers would need cleaning to boot. Tatsuha untangled his arms from around Ryuichi and let go of his erection, letting the cum travel down his arm. Not even saying a word, he would get to his feet and go to take a shower, which Ryuichi should be doing more. Once he came back in the room, cigarette lit in his mouth, traveling a line of smoke wherever he traveled, he acted as if nothing really even happened. He only looked at Ryuichi, smiled, and sat on the bed with his back turned to Ryuichi. The only sounds that were heard were the house resting with the usually creeks, Ryuichi's deep panting, and the puffs of Tatsuha's cigarette. What had happened that night between them was not going to be forgotten, but sure as hell never to be mentioned again. Room filled with worry; they could only wonder what would become of them now.

 They did not say another word to each other the rest of the night.

 _________________

   "Good morning," K said in a hoarse, groggy voice to the newspaper he held as he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. Entering the kitchen, he spotted another specimen, "good morning," he said to Kumagorou, who strangely enough, found his way on to the kitchen table. Sitting down at the table, he started to search through the newspaper for any good, related news. Peering from over his paper, he looked at the bunny. "What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be in Ryuichi's bed?"

 "….." the bunny thought otherwise.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, K yawned loudly. "What am I doing, talking to a stuffed bunny? I feel like Ryuichi or something," he scratched the top of his head, trying not to awaken his god awful headache. He had really drunk too much last night. The sound of footsteps from upstairs got his attention. 

 "You are still here?" Tatsuha asked, walking down the stairs fully dressed. Reaching his destination of the kitchen, he opened the door to the refrigerator and took out the half full milk carton. Pouring the white liquid into a glass, he looked over at K for a response.

Face practically in his toast, K managed to look up at Tatsuha. "I hate hangovers. Seeing as I drank twice as much as you did, I have a reason not to be gone yet," thinking about leaving, he took a bite from the bread on his plate. "I am probably going to leave in a few minutes, anyways."

Swallowing the milk, he only nodded and sat down on the opposite side of the blonde, carrying a small plate of break feast with him. Poking at the food with his fork, he would look up at the man from the corner of his eyes. "So," he tried to stir up some conversation. 

 "Where's Ryuichi?" was the only thing he wanted to know.

Sighing, Tatsuha looked up to the ceiling, "he is still sleeping. He had a hard night."

Listening to their very conversation, Ryuichi turned in his bed. The light from the sun had already started to peek through his curtains, blinding him. It did not matter, though. He still felt so numb from everything. What happened last night was so bizarre to think about. What frightened him most of all is whether Tatsuha was truly doing it from his own mind, or he was doing it because of the alcohol. Remembering when he told him that he loved him amongst the passionate fooling, he could not help but wonder if he was honest at the time. 

 '_Why did I even let him do it?_' he thought, shutting his eyes tight. '_I actually let him touch me like that! He is only my friend, yet I let him... I let him…_' wanting to cry, he brought the blue covers to his eyes to help hold back the tears. It seemed so wrong to let him get that close to him. To get close to him, another male and a seventeen year old at most! He actually let him get away with everything, and he even went along with all of it and participated. Nothing was right in all of this, yet he let all of it happen. Enjoying all of it would be so absurd and wrong, but he did. What Tatsuha had done to him last night made him gasp in ecstasy. He had never felt so good, so hot, or so taken. Tatsuha was the only person to ever actually make him feel so good in his entire life; he made him feel needed in a real life experience.

 However, it just seemed too wrong to even touch each other. How could he even look at him now? 

Hearing a small ringing, he got out of his thoughts and started to look around for where it may have been coming from. Throwing around his pillows, he finally saw a glowing light from his lamp desk. "My cell phone?" he did not remember placing his there. Picking it up and looking at the caller ID, he realized it was not his but Tatsuha's. He did not know who the person was on the caller ID, but not to be rude, he clicked a button and brought it to his ear, "Hello?"

It was probably strange for the person on the other line to hear someone else other than who they were calling, but they did not really seem to mind at all. Listening to what they had to say, Ryuichi smiled to himself. "Yeah, he's here." 

 "Who are you talking to?" Tatsuha was curious, knowing Ryuichi was one to talk to inanimate objects from time-to-time. Turning the knob and peering in, he was baffled to see him on his cell phone. Freezing up, he remembered that Miyu was supposed to call him this morning! If she got the chance to tell him about what is going on, he would be dead! Lunging at the bed, he grabbed the phone from Ryuichi's hands and fell straight onto the floor, sliding until he hit the wall. "Miyu?" he asked, hoping it was not her.

 "_What the **hell **are you doing at Sakuma Ryuichi's house!?!?_" Yup, it was Miyu. By the sound of her tone she either had just gotten up from sleep, or she did not find delight in where he was at. More than anything, it was probably the latter one. "_So, first I see you kissing the bitch and now you are at his house? Who knows what the fuck you did with the whore._"

Not wanting Ryuichi to hear even her voice shaking from the cell phone, he tried to keep his voice down. "Hey, I thought he was your idol, you hypocrite."

 "_Yeah, he was until I found out he was a rival in my love for you,_" she said almost cutely.

Glaring at the wall, he could only wish she could see the hate in his eyes now, "You can pretty much forget about that now," he spitted. That phrase could have meant two things. Tatsuha never wanted to see Miyu again and Ryuichi and he were in love, or that she did not have to worry because Ryuichi did not love him. Tatsuha was upset because of the right one, but made it sound as if both were a possibility.

 "_I'll see you later today_," Miyu ended the argument as she usually does.

Quickly changing his tone, he sighed. "You too," he said in a normal tone. He and Miyu always were like that: arguing one moment and just being normal to one another the next. Hanging up his cell phone, he could feel the confusing coming from the bed. Looking up, he saw Ryuichi leaning his head over the side of the bed and looking at him. Once he made eye contact with him, Ryuichi threw himself back, out of sight. 

"You… talked to her?"

A quiet voice came from the bed, "a little. She got to ask me if you were here, and started to say something but you dove at me and took the phone." He answered, his voice cracking from his nervousness.

 "Okay," he felt relieved. He could still hide his secret from Ryuichi awhile longer. "K left," he informed him and heard the rustling of his covers suddenly, then his small footsteps.

 "I did not tell him goodbye!" he pouted, running to the door.

 "Hey," Tatsuha objected, causing Ryuichi to stop in his tracks. Ryuichi turned around, his hair shifting from the movement and his eyes glimmering. Pushing himself up with his arms, he walked over to Ryuichi slowly. "Do you want to talk?"

Stunned, Ryuichi was too scared to even look at him and now he wanted him to talk. Foreboding feelings overcame him, knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about. "Sure," he tried to say in a normal, calm voice but it came out rather jittery and rustled. 

 "About last night," Tatsuha immediately got onto the subject. "I know how uncomfortable you must have been, and still are. I kind of regret what I did."

Taken back, Ryuichi let out a small, inaudible gasp at what Tatsuha just said. To know Tatsuha was feeling as weird and uncomfortable as he was made him feel really relaxed and relieved. He was thinking about it as much as he was. And he thought that he made nothing of it last night by just taking a shower and coming back to smoke in his bed. Truthfully, he was really tense and worried with a lot of things on his mind. "Don't worry about it," he forced a smile.

 "I can't help it," Tatsuha said, clenching his fists. To actually feel this bad about doing something sexual was a rare moment for him, but he sure dragged it. "I knew I shouldn't have slept with you," he laughed. "If you would like, we don't need to talk about this ever happening again."

Ryuichi knew that was the best way to forget about it, but in a way, he did not want to forget. Doing that would make it seem that it was all for nothing. It made it feel as if they were just trying to hide what happened from themselves and everyone around them. It may have been the best way to avoid everything, but it was not the best thing for them. Was it? They did not even know anymore.

 "Yeah," Ryuichi came to a decision. "I will be cautious next time," he teased. "You actually thought you would hate K."

Giving him a death glare, he felt like sticking out his tongue like a three year old, "It was just the alcohol."

 "I love you, man!" Ryuichi showed him just as he did the night before, throwing himself onto Tatsuha in fists of giggles. Tatsuha caught him with pleasure, and started to rub his hair.

 "Say that one more time," he pleaded.

 "Not a chance." 

__________________

 "Sakuma… who?" a voice asked again, confused on exactly this person was.

Miyu dashed across her room in a fury, "Sakuma _Ryuichi_. You know, the guy Tatsuha always babbles about from sunrise to sunset," throwing a magazine with a picture containing Nittle Grasper's vocalist at the boy, she looked out the window.

 "Oh," he examined the photo, lifting down his sunglasses to look more closely at the picture. "Not bad," he smirked as he admired the man's body. "No wonder Tatsuha gets a stiffy for this guy. Hell, I'm straight and I am getting one now!" he laughed.

Miyu groaned, grabbing the magazine from his hands, which he tried to keep from her taking away and threw it into the trash barrel. "You are so stupid, Eichiro. No wonder you and Tatsuha are friends. Why I told you all of this is beyond me."

 "I have a right to know," he come backed, waiting for a challenge with insults. "I mean, if it was not about boning you, I know it had to be about **something** you would know about. Tatsuha would never tell me, anyways."

Throwing her hair back, she slipped her arms off the windowsill and started to fix up her makeup, "So, will you help me?"

 "Damn girl," he grunted, unsure of what exactly to do, "it goes against my code of honor-"

Snorting, Miyu had to give him an awkward look, "Code of honor? Eichiro, I didn't know you and Tatsuha still did cute, little Boy Scout promises to one another." 

 "Shut up, bitch. I am going to help you as much as I can." Not guaranteeing her anything, he gave her a sly look as if he was up to something. Grabbing the magazine from the small trashcan, he flipped through the pages to look at the same picture she had shown him of Ryuichi. "You know, maybe Tatsuha is right about the whole bisexual thing. He gets a lot of hot women **and** fine specimen such as this. He needs to teach me a few things or too. Maybe I can stay at this guy's house, too." Laughing, he turned his head in the direction of Miyu to only get face contact with her alarm clock smashing into his face. Sunglasses flying, he was thrown back on the floor with a thud from the compact. "Ow!"

 "I can _really_ see why you and Tatsuha are friends," she roared, stomping out of her room, "you are both so stupid!"

   **End Chapter 9**

I don't like this chapter. I do not know why, but my muses seem to hate me at the moment. The one thing I did like was adding K and Eichiro (again) into the story. I love K so he was good to have, and I am falling in love with Eichiro's personality. However, he seems to be a 'bad guy' at the moment with Miyu. So sad.

Now, reviews! (I want more.)

**Cherry-Wolf: **Once I saw 'Tatsuha' and 'mature' in the same sentence, I literally laughed. I am so stupid, but whatever. I had fun writing the interruptions, because I can just see it all happening. On your comment of Noriko, I agree. I think Noriko as such a great, funny character. She's ALL woman and proud! RAWR! Also, I think Miyu pregnant would be weird, although it would have been funny if I made her do something like that. Seeing an offspring of Tatsuha is freaky enough, but seeing Tatsuha being a "Mr. New Dad" is even worse! I am not going to make a comment about you almost shitting your pants, lmao. I keep my characters in their right personalities? Wow, that is a great compliment. *kisses your feet* my moment of Zen is basically pure boredom from me. Yeah, I am stupid.

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **Yeah, now Tatsuha is the one being rejected. Also, why do I only get a little support if it is a girl? You want me to be with a guy or something? :P Actually, to give you a clue, it is not a girl. 

**PikuPiku: **Oh man, I love it when people say the number of reviewer they are. 50, you say. Man, it makes me feel good to know how many I got! YES! Everyone hates me for what Ryuichi said, don't be mad at me, be mad at him. Heh, I put Miyu in this chapter and she ruined something! Mwaha!

**Woodsie: **Yay, another person who likes Miyu! Miyu has grown on me like an undead fetus… or something another. Don't worry, I get excited over small things like videogames and such so I can relate to Ryuichi. And to your comment of being one of the best writers… *has heart attack*.

**Zufu-chan: **lol, I dub your review the "Minion chat." Your review was cute and amused me for a good minute, thanks! *eats Pocky*

**Noali: **Original. I like the sound of that! Also, I have seen too many fanfics where the characters just instantly fall in love or already like each other and blah-blah. I find that a little corny, don't you? About it being like Miyu/Tatsuha with him and Ryuichi, you are the one who made me notice that. I laughed once I noticed. You are pretty conservative. I have slaves, heh, just what I've always wanted. FAKE? I love that series so much, it has nice moments. *growls* I am a fan of shounen-ai and yaoi, actually. Uh… yeah, you change the subject and make me do the same! ^-^

**Komioji Fin: ***hands you tissues* It is a little sad on what I did between them, huh? Maybe I should have Miyu get hit by a car in a chapter or something. That would be funny to me. Damn, I love getting compliments on my writing. Personally, I think I am not good at all. In addition… Strawberry Pocky, because it is KING!

**Beachan18: **I love how you call Miyu 'Amori-san', it makes me smile. You know, Ryuichi jealous because of a love related thing would be interesting to see. Heh, ideas are popping in my head. *slaps Miyu for you*

 Oh, yeah! Ahem! Queen of Vegetasei… where are you? I am dying without your reviews! I am so sad without them. *sniffles*

 Gravitation is owned by Maki Murakami and don't eat peanuts!


	10. Am I Wrong?

No announcement today.

**Gravitation **© Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 10**

   "Black shirt, red shirt," a deep voice tried to decide. A line of shirts were lying on his bed for him to look them over. "Long sleeve, short sleeve," trying to figure out what shirt to wear, he stood only his jeans. His sunglasses, of course, were on his face. Scratching his head, the brown locks of his hair waved up and down in front of his eyes. "This is too confusing," he growled at the attire.

 "Ei-chan," an older woman called, creating an agitated mood in him. "Tatsuha-san is at the door for you, sweetie!"

Eichiro forgot about his never-ending battle for a shirt and left his room to meet up with his friend, walking out of his room and looked over at the door. His mother was so fascinated with Tatsuha that every time he came over, she would talk up a storm about everything that had happened lately or future things she had planned. She never hesitated to listen on what was happening in his life, either. Rather than wanting to know about Eichiro's life, she would always ask him how 'Tatsuha-san was doing' and how he was 'such a nice, young man'.

 "Tatsuha-san, you seem to be getting taller each time I see you!" she cooed sweetly, admiring the height of him. "Have you grown any lately?"

Revealing a small smile, he played along with her sweetness, "Actually, I think I have. Last time I checked, I was 6'0"."

 "That tall?" she could not believe it, her eyes almost popping out her head. "My, you are not far behind your brother." How she knew Yuki, was beyond anyone. She probably read it in one of his books.

Eichiro walked right up to Tatsuha, flashing a friendly smile. "Nice to see you weren't late today," he mocked. Every time Tatsuha was invited to do something with him, he always showed up late somehow.   

 "Nah," Tatsuha said, scanning over his shirtless friend. "I just had to come see you on time, _Ei-chan_."

Not even liking to hear that annoying pet name his mother gave him when he was two, he glared at Tatsuha menacingly. "Shut up and stop checking me out," he commented uncomfortably, wrapping his arms around his chest and stomach area in pursuit to hide them from his bisexual friend.

 "Oh, you boys," Eichiro's mother laughed full heartedly, seeing their comments as usual, boyish acts. Turning to walk into the next room, she gave a pat to Tatsuha. "You two have fun, and say hi to Miyu-chan for me," she told, walking off.

After hearing her name, Eichiro had to look at Tatsuha's face for any reaction to it. Only meeting up with Tatsuha's eyes, he sighed. "Come on, maybe you can help me pick out a shirt," he said, traveling into his room. 

 "I thought you were just walking around the house without a shirt on for kicks," Tatsuha said with disappointment.

Back to where he was, Eichiro started to puzzle over which shirt to wear today. Giggling at Tatsuha's comment, he looked at him through the black lenses, "My mom would kill me, especially when you are the guest. She knew what I was doing, so she bothered not to say something."

 "When I'm the guest?" he asked.

 "Don't act like you are oblivious," he grunted with his nose, "my mother is obsessed with you, man. She is always talking about you and wondering what you are doing. Hell, she would rather want you as a son over me," he said flatly at his last sentence.

Turning his attention to the shirts as well, Tatsuha tried to act as if he did not notice what Eichiro spoke of. He always knew how much his mother liked to talk to him, but he did not know she was _obsessed_ with him. It was a little too much, "Well, doesn't matter," he said, examining the red shirt he put out, "I don't go for older people. Not exactly my type."

 "Yeah, I know," he lied. Knowing Tatsuha had just lied to him, he wanted to pull out the magazine he stole from Miyu and stuff the picture of Ryuichi in his face, asking for answers. Instead, he took a much slower approach, "I finally watched the Nittle Grasper video you let me borrow," he informed him. "I was so bored yesterday and I remembered how much you begged me to just watch it. So, I watched the damn thing."

Watching Eichiro with full content now, Tatsuha was curious of what he thought of the Nittle Grasper concert video, "Did you like it?"

 "I like the name of the band," he grinned and pulled out the DVD case from underneath his bed. Why it was there made Tatsuha give him awkward looks, but took it from his hands no less. "I never knew that band was so good," he started, his eyes full of determination behind the sunglasses. "That vocalist… he's amazing."

Tatsuha's face was in complete shock and surprise, as if he wanted to jump up and down in his very spot. Someone else other than a girl thought Sakuma Ryuichi was amazing and that meant everything to him. Rubbing the case against his cheek, he purred, "I know! Sakuma Ryuichi is so great, isn't he? Personally, I think he is the best looking member of the whole band, sexy beyond compare."

 "Oh?" Eichiro questioned, grabbing the red shirt and slid it over him. "Isn't he like, thirty-two? I thought you did not go for older people, Tatsuha. My mother is thirty-six, or are you just saying my mom **looks** old?" he asked, a bit of hate rolling off his tongue.

Quitting his luxury of rubbing his face against the very image of Ryuichi, his eyes darted at his friend, "What are you getting at?" he asked, his voice surprisingly had turned into a much more deeper tone than when he was squealing about Ryuichi.

 "Nothing!" Eichiro laughed, showing off his perfect teeth with a rather large smile. "Besides, I think this Sakuma Ryuichi is pretty nice looking, too."

For awhile longer, Eichiro still had to pretend as if he did not know anything about him and Ryuichi. If Tatsuha would to find out now, the plan would only be ruined.

___________________

 "This is not going to work," Tohma slapped down some papers on his desk. Turning in his chair, he looked out the window from NG Studios, rubbing his temples soothingly.

Ryuichi rolled his eyes for about the fifth time of Tohma telling him that, "What do you mean?" he had to shout this time, rushing up to the desk and looking over his lyrics Tohma just declined. "What is wrong with my lyrics?"

 "We can't be having such dull lyrics, Ryuichi." Tohma explained, turning around to point out his various mistakes on the sheet of paper. "Many people won't be appealed to what you are trying to say here, and the beat would not be good throughout this entire song except for these three verses," picking up the stack of papers, he shifted them into a perfect order.

Grabbing the lyrics he desperately worked hard on from Tohma's hands, he searched through them. "Why should it matter if it appeals to the fans? The point of me writing lyrics is to write down how I feel, and if the _fans_ don't like it, they can eat it!"  
 "Someone is in a bad mood," Noriko commented dryly to Ryuichi, painting her fingernails a bright pink. Blowing slightly on them to dry, she leaned back in the lather chair. "Must be some personal writing for you to act this way."

Rolling a pencil in his palms, Tohma scanned through the lyrics once more. "The point is: the lyrics are hard to understand, meaning the listeners won't be interested because they do not get it. You need to write lyrics that they can relate to."

 "There are millions of people who relate to what I am trying to say in these," Ryuichi started to pout after his arguing did not get through to him, hugging one of the lyric papers.

The smell of fingernail polish was starting to get a little nauseating and it was not before long that Noriko closed it, put it up, and started to wave her hands. "Two dollars that I know who the lyrics are about," she betted sternly. 

 "Noriko-chan," Ryuichi warned, knowing that she probably was right. After all, she had encountered him and Tatsuha getting friendly on many occasions before. Knowing he would never get passed Tohma's decision, he let out a sigh. "Fine, I'll redo everything."

 "You do not have to redo **everything**," there seemed to be no way getting through to Ryuichi. "You just need to make so adjustments."

Taking the lyrics in his small hands, Ryuichi curled his fingers, scrunching the work he had done into a paper ball. It almost hurt as he done so, but he threw it away carelessly. Doing new lyrics might be for the better, anyways. 

 "I'm… going home," Ryuichi hardly even said aloud, walking out of the office with slow steps.

Both Noriko and Tohma watched him as he exited and shut the door behind him. "Tohma," Noriko was starting to feel sorry for him, "don't you think you should have let him keep the lyrics?"

 "I would and you know that," Tohma sighed. "However, we cannot just slap up every song he writes. If we did that, we would not be as popular as we are now."

Propelling her legs up, she laid her feet down on the seat, placing her chin on her knees. "It's obvious he has strong feelings for him," she thought out loud.

 "I know," Tohma put on a sober face, thinking it was not a good thing. "It is so… indecent."

Noriko just gave him a look as if he had a lot of room to talk about being 'indecent' with feelings for someone.

_____________________

 "Hey, guys!" Miyu shouted from the park, the exact place Eichiro and Tatsuha promised to meet her. She had already gone a couple minutes early and sat around but once she saw the two of them, she started to shout for them in high spirits. Waving her arms around, you could almost feel the whirlwind she was creating.

Pausing for a split second, Tatsuha had a bad feeling about going over to even see Miyu. The only thing that would be brought up his arguments between them. "Shit," he hissed, thinking this was a bad idea after all.

 "Get over it," Eichiro comforted. He had a sixth sense when it came to what Tatsuha was thinking, or maybe it was just because he knew him too much. Averting his attention to Miyu, he smiled and waved back at her, "Yo!"

Hopping from enthusiasm, Miyu gave an even wider smile once they finally reach to her. "Hi, Eichiro," she winked at the sun glassed boy, giving him a message just by doing so. "Hi Tatsuha-kun," she said to her fiancée, latching herself onto his arm giddily.

 "Stop it," Tatsuha groaned. Being in public was the worst with Miyu, seeing as she always wanted to be a little too close with him. Eichiro, on the other hand, thought the whole scenario was funny.

Purring and cuddling against his soft arm, she looked up at him. "Listen, let's put everything behind us. We were both acting pretty immature about all of this, especially me."

 "Really?"

 "I am serious," she responded, a twinkle in her eyes. "However, we are still engaged. I just want to end all of this stupid fighting."

Somehow, Tatsuha did not like the news anymore. He would much rather argue with her twenty-four seven than still be engaged to her. Nothing would turn out right. Grinding his teeth, he was ready to start an argument right then and there until a hand covered his mouth.

 "Down tiger," Eichiro chuckled, holding him back. Being the one to break up fights all the time sure would be tiresome. Letting Tatsuha go after he had settled down, he pointed into the direction of the most colorful city of Tokyo, "We are going to Shinjuku."

Miyu squealed with delight. She had always loved going to Shinjuku to just go and shop for hours. Tatsuha never really seemed interested in the whole place, except going there to the gaming centers.

 "Let's hit the train," Tatsuha led them as they traveled to the train near by.

Watching Eichiro lift himself into the contraption full of people, Miyu scurried over to him. "Hey, you are still going through with it, aren't you?"

 "Oh man," Eichiro was tongue-tied, looking over at Tatsuha was his first reaction. Thankfully he was not even paying attention and he leaned down to Miyu, "yeah, I am. I do too much for you, girl."

Watching the assortments of gray buildings and crowds of people from the glass window, Tatsuha wished he had not even left Ryuichi's house today. Sure, being around Eichiro was a good thing but just knowing Miyu was around made the atmosphere unsettling. Although she had voluntarily asked to quit their idiotic quarrels and start anew, he still had a bad feeling even around her. Maybe it was just him.

 Passing into Ikebukuro, he knew that Shinjuku was only eight more minutes away. To him, it seemed like a good hour.

 "Hot Men's Book!" Eichiro was already satisfied with their trip to Shinjuku, running over to the fashionable, red doors. Drooling at the very sight, he did not want to leave.

Tatsuha and Miyu only gave him a disgusted look, although Tatsuha wanted to do the exact thing he was doing to the place. "It doesn't open until night," Tatsuha pointed out as if he had been there before.

 "I know," Eichiro felt insulted. He had his share of rounds going to the famous place himself, "we may just stop by here again."

Miyu instantly tugged on his ear, "I don't think so! I am the only girl here and I would rather stay away from there," she ignored the constant whimpering from Eichiro and they continued their walk.

 "Fine," Eichiro slumped his shoulders but was instantly more interested in the schoolgirls parading about. "It's not the Hot Men's Book, but it is good enough!" catching his breath, he watched as a group of high school girls giggled, their skirts twirling from the slight breeze and their movement. Never had he seen _Tokyo_high school girls before and they were mighty delicate and their skirts much shorter. "Sweet, sweet women!" he cooed, getting attention of both Tatsuha and Miyu.

Miyu rolled her eyes instantly, "Oh my god," she growled. Everywhere they went; Eichiro was gaping at every woman he could see. She was surprised however, to see Tatsuha not pay any heed to the women around him. It was almost scary.

 "They just looked at me!" Eichiro's face went crimson, and put on a goofy smile. "I think they saw me looking at them."  
Not amused, Tatsuha looked over at the giggling girls. It seemed as if they were looking straight at Eichiro. "Yeah, but only one problem," he grinned, pointing at Eichiro's face. "They would not know if you were looking at them, seeing as you always wear sunglasses." 

 "Shut up!" Eichiro growled, making sure not to look too beastly in front of the schoolgirls. "I think I am going to talk to them," he gulped, gathering his courage.

 "Watch out, bastard!" a boy in school uniform snapped at Eichiro, purposely slamming his shoulder into him. Almost falling to the ground, Eichiro watched as a group of schoolboys walked past him and over to the very girls he thought were gazing at him. Sunglasses practically falling off, his green eyes were visible and the very shock was seen in them.

 "Tough break," Tatsuha patted him on the back, "seems as if they were looking at their boyfriends."

This time, Miyu felt a little bad for Eichiro. He had always wanted a girlfriend in the past but could never swoon one good enough to achieve his dream. "Yeah, this kind of thing always happens. Those guys were ugly anyways, you are much better looking!"

 "Amori-chan?" he looked up at the smiling brunette, feeling his heart beat faster. Grabbing her small hand, he looked at her sincerely, "will you go out with me?"

 "What!?" Tatsuha and Miyu said in unison, baffled.

For an odd reason, something triggered off in Tatsuha. His head suddenly went steaming hot and his hands acted on his own, grabbing Eichiro by the collar, "who said you could ask her such a thing!?"  
 "Eichiro," she said nervously, not expecting such a question from **Eichiro**. "You know I don't feel that way about you. You are a nice guy and all, but I can't." 

Feeling like a total idiot, Eichiro blushed immensely and felt the instant urge to hide his head inside his shirt like a turtle, even if Tatsuha was still holding onto his collar like a ravaged beast. "I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling Tatsuha's grip loosen and let him go. "I don't know why I said that," he rubbed the back of his head, not daring to look up from the sidewalk.

 '_Why... did I just do that_?' it was obvious Tatsuha had more on his mind. Looking at his palms, he thought of how he had just acted to Eichiro's question to Miyu. Out of all people, he got mad because he asked Miyu out? What the hell was wrong with him? Was his mind in the wrong place and he heard him say something completely different? Tracking along with them around Shinjuku, he pondered. He did not hate Miyu, but he did not like her in the way to be jealous or protective. He should careless if she dated someone; actually, he should be delighted to get her off his back! However, he did not like Eichiro saying such a thing.

 Why? Had he gotten so used to Miyu's constant 'I love you's that he felt some sort of ownership? All of this thinking made the front side of his head pound.

"Fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me," Tatsuha leaned back in his chair. The three of them had reached the nearest restaurant. It was full of the color red and black and J-rock music was blaring loud enough to make anyone's ears pop. Luckily, they sat nowhere near the large speakers. Miyu had left due for the need to use the restroom and gave Tatsuha the perfect moment to talk to Eichiro.

Dipping some of his french-fries into ketchup, he did not really seem to have a desire to answer. "Oh?"

 "How I acted when you asked Miyu out," he made him remember, causing him to blush suddenly. It was a sure sign that that was the only thing Eichiro did not want to talk about. "I feel like such a hypocrite or something."

 "It's not big deal," Eichiro munched down some of the fries, going back for more. "You are just having a complex. You know how a guy will put up with a girl who has a major crush on him, but he has no feelings for her at all? Well, after so many months or so of constant flirting and shit from the girl, the guy will grow some kind of  attachment to it and feel like he should be the only one to have her. Don't worry," slurping from the small straw, he eyed Tatsuha casually.

 "But I don't _want_ her," he whimpered, making sure she was still out of sight.

Stealing some fries from Tatsuha's meal, he rolled his eyes. "I know, I am just giving an example," twisting around the food, he found a good opportunity, and "so, who do you like?"

 "Who..?" Tatsuha blushed, taking his eyes off Eichiro and practically slamming his entire face into his food. He couldn't just tell Eichiro he was in love with Ryuichi; he would laugh and tell Miyu. "No one," he lied.

 "I think otherwise."

His voice seemed to drift to a much more serious tone, causing Tatsuha to look up at him with curious eyes. Eichiro had his arms folded against his chest, and even though you could not see his eyes through his sunglasses, you could sense the flames they were setting off. "Eichiro?" Tatsuha questioned suspiciously, giving him an equally serious look.

 "Tatsuha," he leaned in closer, head above the table and looking him straight in the eyes. Both of them were sending suspicious messages to one another with eyes only. Eyes closed, he grabbed the sunglasses he always wore and took them off, shaking his eyes and opening his eyes. The mystical green color stared at Tatsuha intently, "Do you like me?"

Jumping far back in his seat, Tatsuha swore that he could have almost had a heart attack right there. What was with Eichiro? First, it was Miyu and now, him. "Are you just being a jackass today or something?" 

 "I'm back," Miyu announced as she sat down at the table, not even noticing the looks the two boys were giving each other. Eichiro seemed rather serious, while Tatsuha just seemed scared as hell. "Eichiro," Miyu grabbed a nikuman between her chopsticks, "sit down."

 It did not take long for the sun to settle beyond the tall skyscrapers and leave the city of Tokyo in darkness, only the thousands of lights to shine the city. Shinjuku was the prize of the night in Tokyo, the buildings fueled with lights from build boards and signs, many in which would contain a pattern of moving lights. Colors of red, yellow, blue, green and many others flashed around the city amongst the shining of headlights.

 "Shinjuku is so pretty at night," Miyu admired the abundant colors, feeling as if she was in the presence of something godly.

Scanning his surroundings, Tatsuha could instantly spot out the thousands of walking people, "Yeah, but the city itself is not so pretty, and the people make it horrible."

 "Whores, drug dealers, murderers, and strip clubs," Eichiro listed down the few horrible things around the city, "sounds like a perfect trip away from boring, old Kyoto!" 

Enjoying every minute with her two best friends, Miyu walked a little closer to the both of them but was instantly repelled away, holding her nose. "Eichiro, you seriously need to shower!"

 "That's the both of us," Tatsuha smiled, the sweat glistening from their foreheads were pure evidence. "Eichiro just had to challenge me to a Dance Dance Revolution tournament at the arcade, so I gave him what for."

Smelling to see if he really was that bad as Miyu acted, he gave Tatsuha a competitive look, "Bullshit, I beat you to the ground!"

 "You wish, you slipped about five times!"  
 "Hey, at least I wasn't the one asking for 'time outs' all the time."

 "You were the one asking for time outs, dumb ass."

Shaking her head at their stupid argument, Miyu figured it would have been a lot better if she had not even mentioned anything, ignoring the sweat smell all together. Hearing the distant echoes of a familiar tune, Miyu stopped in her tracks and turned to look to the side. A rather large music shop had its doors open and lights on. Teenagers dominated the store, grabbing the latest CDs of their favorite artists while others sampled out the soundtracks, listening to a few songs with the headphones. One schoolgirl was tapping her foot and swaying to the rhythm of a Nittle Grasper song, holding one of their CDs. Even wearing headphones you could still hear Ryuichi's singing voice.

 The very voice made Tatsuha stop as well, and just wanting to fit in, Eichiro stopped as well. Just to hear his voice made Tatsuha more nostalgic about Ryuichi, even if it was from a CD and not the real thing. '_I wonder what he is doing right now_,' he thought, thinking of all the things he may be doing right now.

 '_Sakuma Ryuichi_,' Miyu grew furious as she looked at the Nittle Grasper poster posted up on the store window, Ryuichi the main subject of it. Her fingernails were squeezing into her palms from fury, almost enough to make the bleed. '_You are not going to have my fiancée._' Taking one look at Tatsuha's dazed state from even hearing Ryuichi made her jolt over, "Let's go home," she said, trying to hide any anger at all.

 "Yeah," Tatsuha said soon after, following behind to try and still listen to the song from a long distance.

 "Hey, wait! What about the Hot Men's Club!?"

____________________

 "Aren't you glad?" Eichiro asked Tatsuha, the two of them walking down a quiet street of Tokyo. The street lights sent out a small buzzing noise but gave them enough light to see each other's faces. "Miyu asked me to walk you to your brother's while she went back to Kyoto. That way, she won't have to give you goodbye kisses," he laughed.

Ignoring Eichiro's comment, Tatsuha could only think of how he was going to get to Ryuichi's with Eichiro in suit. Knowing his brother would not welcome him with open arms, he would have to go to Ryuichi's house with his friend either way. "I am staying at a friend's house," he lied to him, hoping he would fall for it. "We need to go there," he felt his heart beat speed up in doubt he would not believe him.

 "Okay," he said, just agreeing because of the plan Miyu had told him. In all truth, he was the one who had been lying the whole day to him.

The entire street in Tatsuha's memory, he knew exactly which house was Ryuichi's, "right here," he pointed to the two story house to the right and headed for it. Listening Eichiro's distant footsteps from behind, he could not believe he was following him!

 _"He will probably go to Sakuma Ryuichi's house," _Miyu had told Eichiro exactly what to do. _"Follow him all the way up there."_

Reaching the door, Tatsuha started to knock. His eyes never drifted away from Eichiro and he started to feel a lot more nervous than usual. What would he say once Ryuichi opened the very door he was knocking on? This was bad, so bad.

 "Yes?" the door opened, Ryuichi standing there in his pajamas. Even with enough light to see them, he could not see the blushing faces from **both** men once they saw him. "Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi squealed at the sight of his friend, eyes sparkling from excitement. He had earnestly waited for his return and really seemed to pay off.

His worries about Eichiro finally faded once he saw Ryuichi smiling hugely just because he saw him, and it all made it worthwhile. Giving Ryuichi a loving smile, he replied, "I'm back."

 "I better get going," Eichiro said, acting as if he did not even notice who the man at the door was.  "Bye Tatsuha," starting to walk away, he stopped once he remembered the plan Miyu had devised. 

 _"Then, right before you go, you have to do something that will make Ryuichi never have feelings for him. Do something so that Ryuichi will think Tatsuha is just using him as he does every other woman he goes with. You have to kiss him."_

"Oh yeah, Tatsuha," he sighed. He knew this would not only make their friendship awkward but it would destroy it. However, he had to do this for Miyu. Turning back around to face them, he was ready to plant a long kiss on Tatsuha. Once he saw Tatsuha standing there smiling, his arms wrapped around Ryuichi and the vocalist smiling just as bright as he was... he could not do it. Never had he seen Tatsuha as happy with someone as he was like this and it made Miyu's plan seem so heartless. To break Tatsuha from the happiness he and Ryuichi were having together would have been almost inhumane. Sweat dripping from his bangs, he felt like a total asshole.

 "Yeah?" Tatsuha looked up at him, Ryuichi rubbing his cheeks into Tatsuha's torso.

 "See you at school," Eichiro finished before dashing off.

Finding the nearest bench he could find, he sat down and sighed to himself. "I could not even break some damn, little 'Boy Scout' code with Tatsuha. He just seemed so happy with that guy," thinking back to the scene of the two of them, he could not help but smile. "Lucky guy. I sure am glad I didn't kiss him. I do not want my first kiss to be with a guy."

________________________

 "Did you have fun?" Ryuichi jumped up and down, following Tatsuha around the house. He went to his usual destinations: kitchen and to the couch. Tatsuha had been gone for about the whole day and Ryuichi sure missed him.

Taking a large swig out of some orange juice, Tatsuha planted down on his favorite couch, "Yeah, I did. I beat Eichiro at many games in the arcade," he boasted.

 "Eichiro? Was that the guy you came back with?" clutching to Kumagorou tightly, he was interested in everything he had to say.

Surprised that he was intently interested in everything he was doing while away, Tatsuha ruffled Ryuichi's hair playfully. "Yeah, he is a good friend of mine. Sucks at DDR, though."

Clutching to Kumagorou tightly, he watched Tatsuha make a courageous move by pulling out a cigarette and lighting in. He probably did not even think about it, but Ryuichi was not even bothered this time around. "I'm glad you're back, I missed you." he said in a straightforward fashion.

"Me too," he replied in the same manner, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

Wanting to say anything to start a conversation, Ryuichi put on an annoyed face, "Tohma told me to do my lyrics over today," he pouted.

 "Really?" Tatsuha asked, appalled. "You've been working for ever on lyrics, haven't you?"

 "Yes!"

Scooting the black ashtray closer to him, he flicked the pieces of drying cigarette into the bowl. "Tohma just has bad taste sometimes. Look who he is married to," he giggled.

 "How _brotherly _of you," Ryuichi mocked him playfully.

Batting his feet together, he managed to slid his shoes off and swing his legs onto the couch in barely a minute, sighing of exhaustion. Listening to the buzzing noise of silence, he could only wait for him or Ryuichi to say something. "I'm tired," he was the one to say something and he had said something wrong.

 "Oh," he heard him respond in a quiet voice, almost as if he has been insulted. It was a little rude for Tatsuha to say something like that, making it sound like he wanted Ryuichi to get away from him. However, he had been out all day and needed rest. Rising up, he tracked along the floor. "I'm going to bed, too. Good night Tatsuha-kun," he blew him a cute, little kiss as if he was three and ran up the stairs.

 "Night," Tatsuha replied a little too late. Contemplating on why he had said that to him, he knew he should have talked to him awhile longer. They hardly saw each other as it is and this made things even colder between them. "I always fuck things up," slapping his forehead, what he spoke of was fact. He always seemed to turn Ryuichi down in some kind of shape or form. "I am not going to do it again," he growled, jumping to his feet and walking up the stairs in a determined fashion. Walking to the door, he tried to make no sound at all to starter Ryuichi, just incase he was asleep. Pressing his ear against the door, he could faintly hear Ryuichi talking to someone. Whoever it was, they were not responding. Taking the tips of his fingers, he pressed the door open slightly enough to look in.

 Ryuichi was sitting on his bed, face turned to the door, and his face buried in the pink bunny. "I don't know what to do Kumagorou," he whispered under a strained breath. His arms tightened around Kumagorou for a closer hug, holding back many emotions from the stuffed animal. His body shaking, he brought up his head a little to look at Kumagorou in the eyes, "What should I say? I..." slipping from his arms, Kumagorou smashed against the bed. His hands traversing to his face, Ryuichi covered his eyes. His stomach started to hurt from his bended state and his mind was boggling. Whimpering and small gasps of breath were good enough evidence that he was indeed, crying. Rubbing his upper legs together, he inhaled a large amount of breath and released what he wanted to confess 

 "Kumagorou, I love him..." throwing himself forward onto the bed, his face met with the covers. Crying silently, his body rising up and down, Tatsuha still stood and watched him, surprised at what he had just heard. 

 '_It can't be me_," he thought. He wanted to believe that Ryuichi was talking about him, and yet he doubted its very essence. Taking a small step back, hoping to just walk away was enough to make the floor creak a loud, obnoxious sound. Freezing up, he knew he would be caught. Watching Ryuichi freeze just as he had done, he knew an argument or awkward silence would ensue.

Turning around quickly, Ryuichi's hair danced across the breeze. Small, wet drops of tears gained flight from the sudden dynamic and stained the carpet. Almost as surprised as Tatsuha, Ryuichi was more embarrassed. Even if embarrassed, the feeling of sadness was much more dominant amongst his eyes. Knowing Tatsuha just heard what he had just said, Ryuichi started to blubber harder even though he was trying to hold it all back from him.

 "I'm sorry," was the only thing Tatsuha could muster for eavesdropping. "I didn't mean to overhear, I just wanted to tal-"

 "Do you think that I am a bad person?" Ryuichi interrupted his foolish forgiveness and going into deeper waters. Biting his lower lip, he could not even stand the sight of Tatsuha at the moment.

Baffled, Tatsuha decided to not run away from any of this and walked into the room. "Bad person?" he echoed. He could feel his heart beating faster in his chest, and his fingers were twitching out of control.

 "That I love you," Ryuichi said as if he thought he had not heard him at all. Taking hold of Kumagorou's red bowtie, he tossed the pink bunny with devil's force. His stuffed toy hit the wall with a thud before falling to the floor, legs in the air. "I love a seventeen year old!!" he screamed, tears dripping from his eyes like a leaky faucet. Convinced that he was a bad person, he could barely even touch himself without pulling back.

Tatsuha felt as if he has just been beaten. Beaten **hard**. Never did he think Ryuichi would think much of his age, but now he was being based on it because the man loved him. '_I don't know what to say,_' Tatsuha puzzled, wanting to fall to his very knees. Ryuichi was not a bad person, he knew he wasn't. But what are the good things about being in love with a man fifteen years younger than you? How can you be a good person when doing illegal acts, all while knowing so? Although it crushed him to realize it, Ryuichi was partially right about it.

 "I don't think you're a bad person," Tatsuha chocked back a few tears. Truthfully, he thought Ryuichi was the most wonderful man he had ever met, how in the world could he be a bad person to him? Wanting to hug Ryuichi, he carefully proceeded to the bed and stopping before he could touch to mattress.

Scooting away, Ryuichi could not bare to be touched at his current state of mind. "But I am a bad person!"  
 "Only if **you** think you are a bad person," Tatsuha let a shout roll from his tongue, pounding his fist on the bed. Standing up straight, he felt sorry for his sudden outburst once he saw Ryuichi's stunned eyes and trembling body. "It's true that people will think you are wrong for loving someone of my age, and it's true that it may be wrong. However, it is only completely and fully wrong if you too think it is. Being in love, being happy... how is that wrong? Loving someone is not a crime; people just make it that way. People make you the 'bad person' by seeing something they disagree with, but if someone can have revering feelings for someone unconditionally while knowing the consequences… that person is not a bad person. They are just a lot more loving and dedicated than most people."

Hiccupping behind closed lips, Ryuichi still had tears forming in his eyes. Whether he agreed or not with what Tatsuha had just preached about, he sure got a reaction out of Ryuichi. "I don't think it is wrong necessarily," he cried.

 "Then it isn't," Tatsuha smiled sweetly, settling himself down on the bed, not getting too close. "Who cares what people think? If you are happy, then none of that should matter. I understand you are scared because this is all so new, don't worry, I've been there."

Not wanting to look like a complete fool, Ryuichi wiped away a few tears with his sleeve and look at him with wonder in his eyes, "Really?"

 "Of course," Tatsuha made it sound so obvious. "Classmates always made fun of me when I liked people older than me, but this is just who I am. I can't just like who _they_ want me to like." Laughing slightly on his statement, he could just image if that were true. Eichiro would be setting him on dates with four women a day from Playboy.

Something in Ryuichi's eyes told Tatsuha that he was happy. It was a very small signal, but it was there. His eyes just seemed to get a lot brighter after Tatsuha had consoled him and a smile would faintly appear on his smooth, feminine face. It may not have been that big of a small as he usually has, but it was a lot stronger than most. Laughing at Tatsuha's stories and silly movements he made with his hands while doing so, Ryuichi knew in his heart that he loved the boy. Every moment he spent just talking, standing next to the boy was the most enjoyable experience he had ever had. He did not know if feeling this way for him and knowing the 'consequences' made him a lot more loving or dedicated, but he did know it made him alive. 

 "Tatsuha," he chirped, getting attention of the boy frolicking around the room, practically dancing with Kumagorou just because of his storytelling.

His ongoing mouth came to a halt and his blinked twice before looking at Ryuichi. "Yeah?"

 "I love you," he told him with his face crimson then gave him a genuine smile.

Smiling back, Tatsuha felt a large piece of acceptance spread open inside of him. Butterflies were going rampant in his stomach except he actually was enjoying it this time. "I love you too," he answered back, unknowing of the blush covering his face, "Ryuichi."

 **END Chapter 10**

 It's so short this time around and I apologize. It took ten chapters for them to actually 'get together'.  Once again, I do not like this chapter. I need to make a good one. .

 **_About Eichiro_:** What can we say about the dear soul? Well, let's just say he and I are very much… alike. I never meant it to be that way, but it seems me and Eichiro are very similar. Our mothers... are just alike. How we act seems to be the same as well. Good old' Ei-chan, I love you!

Now, reviews! (I want more.)

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **Thank you so much, even though you make it sound like I am new father or something. Heh, I hope you like where they got in this chapter. *winks*

**Zufu-chan: **Umm.. *grabs Pocky* Thanks for the compliment.

**PikuPiku: **I love how people make Miyu seem like an evil sorceress plotting something. =P Eichiro is not really against Tatsuha, but merely wanting Miyu to be happy or something. He has a crush on her.. I think. You liked the intimate things, eh?

**Cherry-Wolf: **Lemon-scented? Rofl! This one was grape if you are wondering. About the ten year old: that is pretty funny. It is a little bit of how I see FF.Net's rules around here. I am glad to see you have found interest in Eichiro and there was a lot more of him in this chapter for fan girls, like you, to love! How you said about Miyu is totally right and I never even thought about it that way. My reviewers are smarter than me... gezz. I am in a relationship! Sorry girls, you can't have a piece of this bisexual, Gravi loving, sexy man! =D

**Queen of Vegetasei: ***cuts off the touching, reunited music* Wow… you made me feel bad. Lol, your review made me curl in a corner for a minute. Literally, this is the first review like this, but I appreciate it! Also, the time frame is probably a little bit after the tenth volume. K was there at the cooking show, but they have never communicated before. Tatsuha forgets people pretty easily, even if they saw him at Tohma and Mika's wedding. I thought maybe K with Tatsuha would be a cute notch. I did do K's English speech.. In the manga, he just goes and speaks English perfectly; it is just the anime seiyuu who have a hard time saying it in English, Lol! Thanks for the tips, because in many things, I did not notice. And I am left-handed to your pervy comment! Heh, actually I was doing a report so I rushed. About Miyu, yeah.. Girls are like that. They can put up this mask then go to a completely different mood…. No offense women! Tatsuha's monk comment? Hmm... he does do that in the story, but I think Ryuichi wants for him to get money. =P  Everyone loves Eichiro, he is just the shit! My fanfic is a soap opera? Umm "Days of Our Lives"… GRAVI STYLE!

**Woodsie: **People are poking at my mistakes today… this is strange. Actually, I enjoy it. About Miyu, you have to love her! Come on, think if you were in her position then you would love her!

**Malik**** Ishtal0607: **Someone actually upset about it! Heh.

**Beachan18: **Spawn of Satan? I love it! Heh, my reviewers are so funneh! Ryuichi getting jealous: I have seriously been thinking about this for a long time now and it just may happen! 

 I am sorry because a lot of my reviews were lost because of FanFiction's updates and everything, so just review for this chapter if you did not make it for the ninth!


	11. Finding out

Nothing really going on, just flipping through my Gravitation Remixes and decided to write up a chapter! There are some things in this chapter you may not get if you have not read the Gravitation manga. I will explain at the end of this chapter! I hope none of it spoils anything.. I did not think it was a big deal. =/

**Gravitation **© Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 11**

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"Why must I be stuck in such a band where I am the one who acts the most mature?" tapping down on the small keyboard, Suguru checked to see if every key was in the right tone.

Shuichi had been exploring around the room in a much too jaunty manner, laughing and dashing from one corner of the room to the other, rambling on and on about Yuki.

Hiro would sit at the exact same spot with his attention too focused on his cell phone, talking to Ayaka and blushing every time it seemed she must have said something cute. With enough free time on his hands after their long recordings, Suguru decided to take a few minutes to sit down with his legs pounding. Standing up for hours and slamming the tips of your fingers on keys was pretty tiring, even if it looked pretty easy.

There had been a lot of work for Bad Luck the past few months. Sakano and K had been pushing all three of them hard due to their new CD to be released in the next few weeks and it only caused so much migraine. Well, it would affect people like Suguru and Hiro while Shuichi seemed invincible and would continue to sing, sing, and sing. For being older than Suguru, Shuichi sure seemed to have more stamina and willpower. 

"Yuki is wanting for me to come home tonight," Shuichi said for the fourteenth time, spinning around on one foot like a ballerina. "We are going to eat supper together, Hiro."

It seemed pretty useless to try and even speak to the longhaired guitarist when he was on his phone with Ayaka. Acknowledging Shuichi, he would smile and nod at him then return to his girlfriend on the line. "I swear," he cooed sweetly, promising something to her. It was a nice sentiment for him and Ayaka to call each other, but they seemed to talk **all** the time whenever they were apart. It was almost disgusting. 

Suguru was the only one who seemed to take everything about their work seriously. They all had their share of what they were more determined about but they were also side-tracked by relationships or something. Suguru had nothing of the sort to pull him off track, so he was more focused on the most important thing for him now: the band. In a way, he felt as if he was the one who kept the whole thing together, that he was the glue sticking the band from falling. He wanted to surpass Tohma, his cousin more than anything. However, he seemed to just want Tohma to notice his talent and feel proud. 

"Let's start packing up everything," suggesting such that, Suguru started to fold up the legs to his keyboard and unplugging the wires. Once he closed the case to his instrument, he hoped to look up and see his band mates at least starting to put things way. What he found: the both of them still in their usual state. Shuichi was rolling around and talking about Yuki, and Hiro was chattering away to Ayaka on his mobile phone. Crossing his arms, Suguru decided not to even say a word to the men and packed everything else up.

Everything was put away and now was the time to really rest. Taking a break was probably the best part about any job and musicians cherished it more than any other working person ever could. It was strange enough to say that when their break actually came up, everyone went quiet. Shuichi would amazingly stop his cute banter about Yuki, Hiro would say his goodbyes and hang up his cell phone, and Suguru would finally sit down next to the two after he had packed everything. Silence would be common, along with a usual sigh every few seconds from Shuichi. Everyday was the same as this one during break and it was pretty nice. 

"Does anyone want coffee?" Shuichi spoke up, really wondering because he was yearning for the black liquid.

Hiro shook his head, "I want a beer."

"I don't want anything," Suguru declined, "I don't like coffee and I am too young for beer."

Nodding at their requests and decisions, Shuichi continued to lie there without any movement. Suguru and Hiro gave him a look as if he should have gotten to his feet and fetched the beverages, but he must have only asked from curiosity. Watching the ceiling fan rotate, the silence continued to overcome the entire room. A distinctive ring from hallway was a sign that someone entered the floor from the elevator. Suddenly, quick and loud patters were heard from the hallway and were coming closer to the room by each minute. The sound caught the attention of all Bad Luck members as they stared at the door, waiting for someone to knock. Instead, the door flew open and shut with a large slam after a figure entered the room. 

"Sakuma-san?" Shuichi asked, looking at the vocalist who seemed scared out of his mind. Breathing heavily, he kept his back against the door as if to hold whoever was out there from coming inside.

Sweating from either running or working at the studio, he sure had been precipitated. After listening for any sound on the other side of the door, he looked at everyone in the small room before waving his arms frantically, "Hide me!"  
"Aren't you supposed to be recording?" Suguru asked with nervousness running through him. One could only imagine why Ryuichi came here scared out of his mind and wanting to be hid.

Ryuichi half looked at Suguru before flopping behind Hiro, "Hide me, Takashi!" slapping his hands over his head to hide, he must have thought that whoever was looking for him would not be able to see him that way.

"Sakuma-san," Shuichi bent over to look at him, actually the back of his head. "What's wrong? Who are you hiding from?"

Almost as if on cue, the door set off a thundering bang and swung open, hitting the wall it crashed against. Noriko stood there, hair up in the usual pigtails, but you could swear they were devil horns at the moment. Heaving and growling, you could tell something was not right today for her. 

"Ryuichi!" she hollered, dropping the 'Ryu-chan' and calling him by his true name, as she always does when angry with him. "I know you are in here," she boasted. Looking around and ignoring the confused, shocked looks of the Bad Luck members, her eyes shot down the small ball behind Hiro's chair, quivering. Smirking, she rolled a strand of her hair between her fingers, "I wonder where he could be," she mocked. Walking over to the curled up vocalist, he stopped all movement, knowing he was found. 

"Eek," he yelped before getting to his hands and knees and running off around the room like a stray dog. Progressing slow as he was to the door, he would never get away from her. Stopping all movement once her shoe slammed in front of him, he gulped loudly before looking up at her with a goofy smile. "Hi," he managed to say.

Snatching the back collar of his shirt, she surprisingly could bring him to his feet without any trouble at all. Everyone knew Ryuichi was small and short, but it was strange to know how light he was. Glaring him in the eyes, Noriko stomped her foot. "How could you not tell me about this?" snorting through her nose, she desperately needed a response.

"I don't know," Ryuichi sighed. A little regretful, his shoulders slumped down. Noriko gave him a look that showed she forgave him somehow.

"You're not going to are you?" her eyes were clouded in a tragic sense. The both of them were simply ignoring the others in the room, focusing on the conversation between each other. "What about Tatsuha-kun?"

His eyes closed for a moment to cover up his mystical eyes. Sliding open again, they seemed to be filled with a sense of astonishment and inquisitiveness. He had never told Noriko about him and Tatsuha being together. "How do you know about us?" he asked icily.

"I do now," a smirk played across her face after she got a secret out of him. Feeling Ryuichi tense up underneath her palm was when she decided to avert back to the serious issue, "you can't do this, Ryu-chan. It will ruin everything for us. You had already went back to Los Angeles in pursue of become an actor but soon came back here. Why do you want to go back?"

Unlacing himself from Noriko's grip and sighing to himself, Ryuichi put on an indecisive face. "I don't know," his quiet words were loud amongst the silent barrier created from everyone.

"Excuse me," Shuichi spoke up, vacillating for the first few seconds. The two pairs of eyes from the woman and man turned to look at him as if they did not know they were in an occupied room. "May I ask what is going on?"

Full of disappointment, Noriko respired soothingly to herself. "Ryu-chan announced to me that he was thinking about moving back to LA and trying to be an actor again," finishing she jumped out of her sad demeanor and gave Ryuichi a glare that could kill. "However, he will **not** be doing so."

"I said I was _thinking_ about it," Ryuichi come backed in whisper, still a little down trotted for even thinking about doing so.

On the edge of his seat, Suguru nictated his eyes in a fast motion. There were still some questions unanswered, "Why were you chasing him around?"

"I wasn't," Noriko announced, appalled. "Ryu-chan told me about going back and I got infuriated with him, yelling at him. Seeing as he could not take the discipline, he ran off. I could not just let him run off without listening to what I had to say, or just leave his work so I came after him."

Ryuichi bit his bottom lip, giving the most innocent and mistreated look to his female band mate, "I ran off because you were being mean to me," he whimpered. 

"Oh, I love you Ryu-chan," Noriko apologized, her eyes rolling from his little act he always seems to pull with everyone. "Just promise me you won't leave Japan and I won't be a bitch to you anymore," this was the only way to get Ryuichi to come to terms with her.

Conjuring up a verdict, he started to turn and meddle with the many earrings he had. Switching back and forth from right and left ear, he finally stopped. "I promise," smiling widely, he was almost too easily persuaded that it seemed mysterious. 

"Last question," Hiro interrupted. Shuichi and Suguru had already asked two questions and now it was his turn to ask a question left unanswered, "What is this about him and Tatsuha?" Hiro did not really know the boy, and did not really care anything for him. However, he had met him before at Yuki's house the time he convinced him to dress up like his brother at the cooking show for Shuichi. 

That question got the most attention from Shuichi. He always seemed to be interested in Yuki's family as if he was apart of it and he had to know what was going on. Ryuichi, on the other hand, was the color of a perfect apple. Hiro could just see the rumbustiousness sparkling in Noriko's eyes.

"He and Tatsuha are lovers," she paraded around the room, giggling and making a little heart with her hands. Shouting and squirming were coming from Ryuichi, wanting for her to stay quiet about all of it.

"Noriko-chan!" he squealed like a newborn piglet, "Now everyone knows about it! I can't believe you just told them," throwing himself to the floor, you could almost swear the carpet was starting to burn from the heat emitting form his face.

Shuichi sprang to his feet from hearing what he had just heard. "You and Tatsuha?" he questioned in utter surprise. He always knew Tatsuha daydreamed of being with Ryuichi every waking moment but never did he expect it to actually happen! "I can't believe it," he muttered but a smile appeared most dignitary.

"Isn't Tatsuha-san my age?" Suguru also could not believe the very words Noriko spoke of. He had never encountered two people dating that were fifteen years apart before. It was strange.

Ryuichi instantly looked Suguru in the eyes with an almost murderous look. "So?" he asked in a manner that threatened the life of someone, rather than just ask them what was wrong with it.

"I do not oppose," Suguru chocked up, waving his hands nervously. Nittle Grasper's vocalist not only could look as intimidating as he was on stage but even worse while off duty. Chipper then ever, Shuichi pranced down by Ryuichi.

"Are you on top or bottom?" he asked casually, wanting to know. He seemed to act like it was nothing to be ashamed of, saying it loud enough for everyone to hear.

The apple color was back. "W-What!?" was the only thing Ryuichi could muster for an answer. If he knew being in a relationship with someone made your personal life invaded then he would have thought twice before jumping into such a thing. Hoping for Shuichi just to give up, he looked away from the pink haired singer.

"You know," Shuichi smiled, knowing he would not have to explain the process with someone who is dating Tatsuha. 

Not returning his eyes to Shuichi because it would only cause him to blush again, Ryuichi shook his head. "We have only been dating for five days," he said in a disgusted tone. He would not just jump in bed with Tatsuha and have sex with him when they had not even dated for a whole week.

"Tatsuha has not 'done it' with you yet?" Shuichi's jaw dropped, astonished. Hiro and Noriko had done the same, knowing how Tatsuha was when it came to Ryuichi. It seemed like a miracle.

"Of course not!"

Changing the subject in fear of finding out more awkward things, Shuichi tapped Ryuichi on the shoulder slightly only to get his attention. "I should sleep over sometime then! I mean, Tatsuha is _my_ lover's brother, and Yuki is _your_ lover's brother. It would be perfect!"

"That sounds like fun!" hopping on his stomach, Ryuichi was thrilled of the idea. The two vocalists remained on the floor, giggling and thinking up plans for a slumber party.

* * *

"I'm home," Ryuichi said once he entered the door to his house. It was a little weird to be able to actually say that with real company in the house. Slipping off his shoes and placing the house key on the small drawer next to the door, he waited for Tatsuha to welcome him back. The house remained silent, which got Ryuichi a little suspicious. "Tatsuha-kun?" he called out, walking around to see if he could find him.

Entering the main room, smoke was flying up from a burnt out cigarette in the ashtray and the television was on, lighting up the room. "Well, at least I know he is here," Ryuichi calculated to himself. The couch was empty for once, too. Starting to worry, Ryuichi looked for any note that he may have left in case he decided to go out. There was none. 

"Tatsuha-kun?" he asked again and was answered by the sound of a door opening. Turning around to where the sound was coming from, he saw Tatsuha walking out of the bathroom with a towel in hand, rubbing his face. The look on his face once he saw Ryuichi was nice as he smiled.

"When did you get back?" he asked sweetly, happy to see him back from the studio. Placing the towel over his shoulder, he walked over to get Ryuichi in an embrace.

Soaking himself in the heavenly hug they were sharing, Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Tatsuha's waist and burying his head into the sweet smell of the boy. "Just now," he answered. "I called for you. Where were you?"

"Shaving," replying in a plain tone, he seemed to be a little embarrassed about it. It seemed a little clear now after Ryuichi saw him come out of the bathroom, rubbing his face with a towel.

A little puzzled about his reasons to do so, Ryuichi gave him a queer look. Lifting himself up a little and reaching up with his hand, he rubbed it against Tatsuha's smooth, shaved face. "You actually need to shave at your age?"

"I can't help that my body is faster than my age," he answered firmly. Watching Ryuichi's hand travel down his neck and trickle down his neck, all the way to his chest made him really intrigued. "Okay, what do you want?" he joked, very much enjoying the attention he was receiving from his lover.

"You can tell?" Ryuichi stopped his distinctive rubbing almost instantly, making Tatsuha want to fall off his feet. Tracking his hand through his light brown hair, Ryuichi surely thought Tatsuha would not actually tell he was going to ask him for a favor.

Not wanting the moment to end, Tatsuha brought his lips to Ryuichi's soft neck and started to make a line of kisses on his skin. Listening for any kind of purr from him was Tatsuha's main motive and was pleased to hear a soft whimper escape his lips.

"Tatsuha," Ryuichi smiled, pushing Tatsuha back a little. First he had to ask him about having Shuichi stay the night before they could get frisky. "Would it be okay is Shu-chan stays the night?"

Looking Ryuichi over, Tatsuha only wanted to hold the man in his arms for a couple more hours, even though it was obvious it was not going to happen this time. Letting Ryuichi free, he looked at the clock. "When?"

"Tonight," he answered quietly, not wanting a reaction from Tatsuha that would be negative. Daring, he looking at him from the corner of his eyes to see him sighing and his eyes closed slightly. Knowing there would be no way around Tatsuha, Ryuichi got on his tiptoes to lock lips with him. Smiling to him after their kiss, he gave him pleading eyes. "Please?"

Not one single person could resist those eyes Ryuichi would give so often to get his way and Tatsuha was no exception. Practically melting from the kiss and on to those beautiful eyes, he could hardly stand on his feet. "Okay, but just be good." Defeated once more.

"Yay!" Ryuichi cheered on, running into the main room to prepare everything for the slumber party. He would dash up the stairs to fetch pillows and blankets, laying them on the floor next to the television. Tatsuha would just stand and watch him like a preying wolf, indulging in his cuteness about the whole deal, smiling as he watched his every move.

"You are so cute," letting out his exact thought caught Ryuichi's attention, making him stop midway from carrying a pillow to the main room. 

Blushing slightly, he ran over to place the pillow down with some of the covers. "Thanks," he said bashfully. He wanted to say so much but could not find the right words to say. "Um, Shu-chan and Yuki should be coming over any minute."

"….." that must have broke Tatsuha's mood, "my aniki?"

Brisking around, Ryuichi finally got everything ready and sighed at his accomplishment. Not taking the time to see Tatsuha's look on his face, he just gave a nod. "Yeah, Shu-chan said you two need to bond a little more," he paused. "He says you two have not seen each other in awhile."

"Shit," Tatsuha cursed, imagining what his brother would say once he sees him living with Ryuichi, being his lover also! Yuki was one to tease Tatsuha about such things, being an older brother is was basically his soul duty. It was not only embarrassing but it would be the first time for one of his family members to find out about his relationship. He might as well say goodbye to his pimp like shell.

At the sound of the doorbell, Tatsuha wanted to shoot himself. Ryuichi pranced like a wild deer to the door and opened it up merrily.

"We're here!" Shuichi stood with Yuki by his side. Yuki sure looked as if he did **not** want to be here and in which Shuichi probably dragged him all the way to the house. 

Ryuichi seemed so thrilled once he opened the door and welcomed them both in so formally, "I got everything set up," he showed them the main room.

"I get the couch," Yuki said once he saw it. Shuichi would not mind sleeping on the floor with the assorted pillows and blankets, but it would only give him pains in the neck. Not even noticing his brother walk up from behind him, he was even more shocked to hear the voice.

"Hey aniki," Tatsuha grumbled in a welcoming tone. Yuki looked over his shoulder to see his younger brother standing there with a face that was indescribable. 

Scanning him over, Yuki remembered something about Tatsuha living here from Shuichi earlier today. However, he was too busy working on a novel to listen to all of what he had to say. "Hey Tatsuha," he said back. Tatsuha's look portrayed him to be a little worried of what his brother may think, so Yuki just took it off his shoulders. "You live here, huh?"

"Yeah," Tatsuha blushed. "I am Ryuichi's lover."

Not at all fazed at his proclamation as others were, Yuki just pulled out a cigarette. "Dream come true," in a way, you could tell he was happy for Tatsuha. He always encouraged Tatsuha to just set up a date for the both of them, even offering for him to get Tohma to do something about it. It did not surprise Yuki one bit to see Tatsuha finally with the thirty-two year old.

"Yuki, don't smoke here," Shuichi grabbed the caner-on-a-stick from his boyfriend's very fingers and threw it into the nearest trash can. "We are guests!" hearing Yuki snort made Shuichi know he had won for now. 

"I didn't know it was that easy," Ryuichi mused over how easily Shuichi could make Yuki not smoke one cigarette. Saying this, he could not help but give Tatsuha a sly look. 

Trying his best to not respond to Ryuichi's thought, Tatsuha turn to his brother for conversation. "How's work?"

"Sucks," Yuki replied in a normal tone, leaving it at that. Slapping his hand from the urge to grab another stick from his cigarette carton, he looked at his younger brother sarcastically, "how's praying with the old man going?"

Continuing his own mistake, Tatsuha took his chance and snatched a cigarette from Yuki's carton and placed it between his teeth and lighting it soon afterwards. Exhaling the cluttered smoke with a sigh, he looked up at his brother. "Okay, I guess. I usually go home on weekends to pray with him. To get away I just tell dad that I am staying at your house or something," he chuckled, yet wished he hadn't said that. Knowing his brother, he would find great please in ratting him out to dad. The same sounding chuckle from Yuki made Tatsuha feel at ease with good foreboding ahead.

"Tatsuha-kun," Ryuichi stepped up towards Tatsuha, holding Shuichi's hand as if they were about to run off and play. The dark, raven eyes looked down at him, giving him a questionnaire look. "Put it out," he flicked at the hanging cigarette in his mouth, causing some ashes to fall off. Satisfied to see him obey his demand by grabbing the ashtray and squishing it to the hard surface, Ryuichi tugged at Shuichi's arm. "Let's go sit down by the TV," chirping and ecstatic, he led Shuichi to the spot where the covers and pillows were spread about.

"You sure have a nice home Sakuma-san," Shuichi tried to compliment him nicely but it came out with a large amount of envy. "I don't see why you would want to leave it," he said, checking back at what Noriko had told them.

Quickly speaking up, Tatsuha crossed his arms. "And he isn't going to Los Angeles, either. It makes me feel as if it is because of me," lowering his voice, he hoped his brother did not hear his last sentence. However, Yuki laughed once he did hear it.

"He knows?" Shuichi was pretty surprised.

Scrunching up his nose, Ryuichi gave Shuichi a look that made it seem as if it was obvious, "Of course! Tatsuha-kun was the very first person I discussed with about the whole thing."

"He should go with you," Yuki spit out, making him self comfortable on the couch. Whether he was insulting or joking around with his brother, he made it come out all too flat. 

A wave of emotions surfed across Ryuichi's face, settling with a heavy sigh. "Tatsuha-kun wouldn't want to, mostly because he can't speak English."

"It's not my fault I am getting a D- in that damn class," he cursed underneath his breath so Ryuichi could not hear. Taking his time to traverse over to where his lover was sitting, he plopped himself down next to him. Smiling up at him, he could tell Ryuichi _did_ hear.

"I said I would help you," Ryuichi said solemnly. 

Defeated yet still up for a quarrel, he slapped his hand down on his pant leg. "Really? Okay, how do you say my name is English?"

"Tatsuha," was what rolled from his mouth. Giving Tatsuha an almost screwball look and receiving one back from him, he had the urge to explain. "Your name never changes not matter what lingo you are speaking. Pronunciations may change due to their vocabulary but that is about it."

For a moment everyone was completely silent. It sure did make most of them uncomfortable. "I didn't know that," Shuichi replied in wonder, even if he was called that in America by Rage and Judy, who were in fact, Americans.

"No wonder you are failing Tatsuha," Yuki dusted off his shirt sleeve, already knowing such a thing from his past trips to the US. However, his English was so faint now that he could only speak so many words. 

"Acting is so hard," Ryuichi converted the conversation so easily, putting his hair up in a ponytail. "They have such high standards and you actually need to be very, very experienced in the whole thing!" throwing up his legs and arms as if he was trying to be picked up in an embrace, he toppled down with his head falling down on Tatsuha's lap. Staring up at the ceiling and feeling Tatsuha starting to pet him like a domestic cat, his chest raised with a heavy sigh. "The only reason I got a job in acting was because of my work in Nittle Grasper and how good I look."

"Someone is modest," teasing with a small chuckle, Tatsuha pulled back some of his hair and placed it behind his ears. The small hoops of his earrings started to shimmer like diamonds from the light coming from the bulb. Tatsuha found interest in them **pretty** quickly, turning them and feeling them.

"It's true though," he replied, looking over at Shuichi who seemed to understand what Ryuichi was saying like he had been through the same thing once. "The shows I got where not that big anyways. I would do commercials or some small television show now and then, but the directors would always say I did not have enough potential to make it big in acting. They said the only form of media in which my face, body, and voice should be in is music."

"Aren't you satisfied with that?" Shuichi asked, almost covering his mouth for asking. The feeling of security and nosiness made him listen closely.

As he answered, his voice seemed kind of stuck between a lie and the truth, and between a cheerful tone and a melancholy one. "Yeah—no," he sounded so confused and he could not make up his mind. The icy look in his eyes he gave was an indicant he knew how he felt, "sometimes."

No one ever really had the need to question how Ryuichi felt after that. Not one person seemed to know why they had no feeling to not even speak a word of it. Maybe it was the way he looked so sad and hurt inside of himself, or just because he sounded just as he looked. Any time Ryuichi would be in such a state, time would seem stand still. It was surely weird like some kind of magical force, but it always is assumed to happen. However, it never takes long for Ryuichi to just smile again and say something cheerful.

This time, he didn't. He would seem to lie dormant while his face would be groomed slowly and his expression never really seemed to change as he eyes wandered around the room.

"I hope it is like this all night," the blonde novelist smiled to himself, never having such a quiet moment like this with Shuichi in the room. Turning on the television, everyone's attention was focused on the screen.

"Don't you have a _book_ or something to work on?" Tatsuha said wearily, getting back at him for saying such a thing.

The small remote was being used as a scratch utensil, rubbing against Yuki's head and rolling against his cheek as he turned through the channels. "Deadline is coming up," he remembered, "I'll get it down. I didn't know you were worried about my work."

"You always say that," Shuichi whined, hopping up at the end of the couch by Yuki's feet. "Why don't you get on the floor and you can rub me, just like Tatsuha and Ryuichi?"

Averting his eyes to the seventeen and thirty-two year old on the floor looking like they were in nirvana, Yuki almost looked disgusted. "They are acting like fucking newlyweds," he replied, snorting from his nose.

"That reminds me!" Tatsuha practically jumped out from his spot, sending Ryuichi across the floor. Looking down at the beauty, his eyes turned to a romanticism look, raising and lowering his eyebrows, "when is our honeymoon?"

Laughing from his sleazy comment, it was a sure spitfire sign that Tatsuha was the person to bring Ryuichi out of a bad mood so quickly. "We already had it," he purred softly, lifting his hand up to flick at his nose.

"No we haven't," Tatsuha opposed, raising his index finger like an intelligent professor, "Honeymoons include getting more acquainted beneath the sheets."

Ryuichi did answer but simply gave him a droll look with blush staining his cheeks. 

"Yuki and I have been around the **world** because of our honeymoons then," Shuichi joked, dodging a shoe thrown by his lover from behind him.

Blowing a raspberry, Tatsuha could not pass up the chance to say something about his older brother. "Aniki and his large libido. Shuichi probably becomes unconscious every night."

"Like you have a small libido," Ryuichi rolled his eyes sarcastically. Tatsuha looked down at him as if he expected that kind of comment from Yuki! However, there had been many occasions where Tatsuha would always want to kiss and rub against Ryuichi in bed more than outside of bed.

"Mika almost sprouted a volcano form the top of her head when she found out where you were living," Yuki said, clicking the volume button on the black controller. "She said you are wasting your life away here."

"Mika is wasting her life away with Tohma," he replied with a hiss. Almost at the same time he said that phrase, Ryuichi gave him a glare. Sitting up, Ryuichi gave him a small slap on the cheek that barely fazed him. Just to be dramatic, he rubbed the spot where he was hit. "It's true."

Feeling his hair, Ryuichi started to fix it where Tatsuha would have messed it up a little too much in the process of grooming him. "I don't care if it is true to _you_. Tohma is one of my best friends and I am not going to tolerate this because to me, Tohma is a great person."

"Yeah, anybody who is obsessed with me sure is great," Yuki said in a sarcastic, freaked tone. Shuichi seemed a little too insulted at that.

"Ryuichi," Tatsuha slurred, looking at the man staring back at him.

Never since he kissed him on the night of raffle contest prize had he seen Ryuichi so corybantic with anger at him. His eyes would shine with an invisible fire burning within him as if he wanted to constrain him. 

Tatsuha could only look at him with an afflicted expression while his own threatening emotions were building up inside.

The _honeymoon_ would have to postpone.

* * *

Movies played on the television, flashing off abundant lights amongst the darkened room. It was starting to get late and only a few were still awake. The two Uesugi brothers were still awake, smoking the first chance they got once the other two males had fallen asleep on the floor. 

"Remember when I went to New York about a year ago?" Yuki started a conversation, asking a weird question. Tatsuha only looked at him then brought his cigarette to his mouth.

Chest rising from the long inhale and falling from the deep exhale, he turned his head to look at the man who he guessed was still mad at him. Seeing as he was asleep, he couldn't ask. "Yeah, I remember."

"Do you even know why I went?" he asked, curious of how Tatsuha would respond.

Tatsuha's eyes scanned over to his brother, full of curiosity. He did remember when Shuichi was so called 'captured' to go to America and then Yuki had left soon after, but he never got an explanation. "Why?"

"I went after the baka," he sighed, obviously talking about Shuichi just by the way he looked over at the vocalist once he said the word 'baka'. Smoking the last of the nicotine stick, he smashed it in the ashtray and he leaned back in the couch. The two of them sat there, looking ahead of them and not at each other. 

"I had heard about him staying in New York with the new management from some crazy girl. I went to seek him out and had seen that girl, Rage was her name, on many occasions and spoke to her to try and get to Shuichi. She had a huge crush on him and despised me for our relationship, I guess. She would never let me get to him," Tatsuha looked down to see Yuki curling his hand into a fist, it quivering from his tight grip. "Soon enough, I got that damned girl on the top of a building and almost killed her, but Shuichi came and had to save her. I had finally found Shuichi and asked him—no, I told him to come to me," a smile curled across Yuki's face. Actually, it would be considered a small smirk of remorse. Startled from the very sight, Tatsuha was confused on what that smirk actually meant emotionally. "He told me no," he ended, causing silence to go about again.

Closing his eyes in the quick pain from burning his cigarette out on his hand, Tatsuha started to whistle in pursuit to end the silence. Finally looking over at his brother, he smiled. "Why did he say that?"

"I really don't know," Yuki grumbled, saying it as if he knew Tatsuha was going to ask that. "I think because he saw me with Tohma once and we were trying to get him jealous, you know, to get rid of him."

"_Why_!?"

Chortling for a small moment and then rubbing through his hair, he answered in a much serious tone. "Shuichi is always such a bother to have around. He causes so many ruckuses and is nothing but a memory carrier for me, causing my life a living hell. A lot of people help me to try and get him away from me once and for all. But each time he actually is gone, I want him to be with me. I always yearn for him to go away yet I am lost without him. That is what it is like to be in love I guess," grabbing another cigarette, he did not even take the time to light it and just tapped it around on his arm.

"And that is?" Tatsuha chocked back, wondering why he was even telling him all of this for being such a cold, insecure hard ass.

"To be with someone you love and having to through millions of complications and difficulties together is so hard and hurtful," his eyes never drifting away form Shuichi; you knew he was saying this all about him from his heart. To see Yuki like this was truly rare but amazed you on how deep he really was. "But, being apart is much, much more hurtful."

Never once did Tatsuha doubt what his brother had told him. Why he was telling him this was unknown to Tatsuha but he kind of thought he may have a slight idea, and it probably dealt with him and Ryuichi being in a relationship. Yuki would try and cover up anything to give him brotherly advice for the present or future and Tatsuha sure appreciated it. With a smile he looked down at Ryuichi, spread out on the floor with his mouth widely agape with Kumagorou on his chest, rising up and down. His was so cute and innocent, prior to when he was staring him down with a menacing glare. He could only imagine if he would one day be separated form his one true happiness. 

Would it hurt as much as Eiri said it would?

"Damn," Yuki cursed. "You sure as **hell** can tell I am a romance novelist with my idiotic blabber!"

* * *

Shuichi dashed about in the kitchen, grabbing eggs and mix and putting them into designated plates or pots. Morning was a perfect time for him to try out his break feast making abilities. His apron curled around each move he made, causing more drifts to pass by. "Sakuma-san, you want to help?" he asked the man sitting at the table watching him.

"That's okay," he said, looking really jaded from his awaken. "I will just wait and eat the food if you don't mind."

Not at all disappointed in Ryuichi's decision, he just continued dashing back and forth to many categories of food to fix. Ryuichi sighed against his arms, leaning over with his chin on the table. He was planning to sleep up in his own bed but fell asleep on the floor and hardly got any sleep at all.

"Hey," a deep voice echoed behind Ryuichi, causing him to look behind him. Tatsuha stood there with ruffled hair from sleeping on the couch, in which he got pushed on the floor by Yuki. He smiled at Ryuichi full heartedly, and then gave him a scared frown after seeing how he did not respond to him at all. "Are you mad at me or something?"

"What? Of course not," he replied, giving him an awkward look. 

Relieved, Tatsuha sat himself down beside Ryuichi. "Okay, I thought maybe you were still mad at me for what I said about Tohma."

"I was mad when you said that," he explained. "However, I can't stop you from how you think about one person."

Raising his arms and lowering it, he wrapped it around Ryuichi softly and pulled him closer. "I forgot to say good morning."

"You don't have to," he replied, leaning his head back on his chest. Mumbling something inaudible under his breath, he snuggled cutely with a purr.

Feeling the warm sensation form Ryuichi put Tatsuha in pure ecstasy. To actually have Nittle Grasper's vocalist this close to him was only a blurry dream to thousands, or millions of people and it meant everything to him. He never knew that something in his life could be better than a dream. "I love you," he whispered into Ryuichi's ear and feeling him cuddle closer to him was good sign indeed.

"That's so sweet," Shuichi cooed to himself, hugging onto his spoon as he watched the couple.

As Tatsuha held Ryuichi close, he only could wish it would stay like that forever. Being with Ryuichi was not at all hurtful or hard for him like Yuki said it is to be in a relationship, so would it be even harder when they are apart? 

Feeling his lover's heartbeat against his, he could only imagine.

**END CHAPTER 11**

****

Well, this chapter was completely boring and useless. My muse is really not working lately. shakes worn out sock Come on my muse, help me out here!!!

Anyways, time for **manga check-up**, shall we?  
****In this chapter, it was brought up about Ryuichi going to Los Angeles to become an actor. In the manga, this is true. Ryuichi leaves in around… the eleventh or twelfth? My manga is right in front of me but I am too lazy to grab them and flip through. So, I mentioned that. However, it is not evident if he comes back as I made my story say. So, you can pretty much think of what the timeline is now. 

Also in this chapter, there were many talks of when Shuichi went to New York. This is true and starts happened in volume 8. The Americans Shuichi was thinking of were named Judy and Rage. Judy is K's wife and she is in the manga, as is Rage. Rage is much different; she is a really cool American girl who has a crush on Shuichi. She kind of becomes Bad Luck's manager, dresses them up in silly costumes, and controls a giant, robot panda!! MWAHAHA!!

The story Yuki told Tatsuha was true in the manga. Let me not be lazy and see what volume it is in…. 9. I had to check real quickly. Heh. 

Now, reviews! ( I swear, if I get ninety or more for this chapter… I will piss my pants! )

**Cherry-Wolf: **Yeah, Eichiro is a kissed virgin. Poor guy, I used to be like him. Heh, I made Tatsuha say that so people could react the way you did. Miyu will probably find out, I mean, come on! Of course she is going to! Mwahaha! KumagorouBeam-….sama??? YESSS!! I am your master!!!

**BadLuckShuichi****: **Thank you for the compliment, and the plushies! I love you already! 

**Ellechan****: **I love enthusiasm from my reviewers! Please come again!

**The Pocky Nazi: **I am truly honored. It is truly a wonderful thing to avert people into something with such a.. bad fanfic such as mine! You need a badge for such the remarkable review you gave me, it just gave me the biggest ego I have ever had! I love you so much! 

**Queen of Vegetasei: **Eichiro is pretty weird, no matter how normal he seems. He is like one of those guys who can hang with guys like Tatsuha, talk the talk, but has never been with a girl. laughs and about everyone breaking them apart… you are right. There will be only a few people who will support them, but everyone else will want them away from each other. I feel sorry for the two of them. Cosplaying? Heh, like Tatsuha "cosplaying" as Yuki for Ryuichi's numbers. =P P.S. I love K's seiyuu as well! 

**Zufu-chan: **Seriously, it's the coffee. I love coffee and it really touches ya somewhere. Talk or something? I would but I have none of those kind of things. If I do get one, I will let you know!

**Woodsie: **It disappeared?... A MYSTERY TO BE SOLVED! takes out magnifying glass Come, dear Watson! You love Miyu now? Yeah, she is truly lovable for some.. evil reason. Eichiro is the symbol of cool! Muchly? Har, you are funny. Also, I am glad you saw the fifth volume. Of course I would not make that up.. this is based on the manga. I don't like the anime so… yeah. Everyone looks a lot better in the manga in my opinion. =/ CAPYBARA!!

**Koori-Yami: **Thank you so much! I actually find myself running out of words to use sometimes. Thank you about how good I keep the characters, too. Ryuichi is just… a normal guy to me so that is why he is just normal. =D

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **lol, I have never thought about Eichiro and Tatsuha getting together before. However, now that I think about it… that is a good idea! Mwahaha.. you made an idea pop into my head. Yeah, Ryuichi had MPD to a lot of people, but I just think he is like Shuichi: happy, hyperactive, and a nice guy BUT he just takes his work seriously and has some serious mood swings. Maki never clarified so many people just see it as they want. Lol, about your equation on Miyu and everything! Eichiro and Tatsuha stuff is coming up because you got me thinking about it!

**PikuPiku: **Don't worry about being late Piku, babe. You are just as important as everyone else. Eichiro is okay to me, he is based off me for accidental reasons so I don't like him that much. =/ Also, might as well bring out your chainsaw and be ready! Lol!


	12. Red Ribbon

I am going to write a short chapter. My muse, the worn out sock, has spoke to me in my sleep.

Also, has anyone noticed the abundance growing with Tatsuha/Ryuichi fanfics? Oh yes, baby. The world **is **coming to an end!!

**Gravitation** © Maki Murakami

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 12**

Thirteen years ago-

_"Tatsuha-kun!" called a young voice, burning with the sensation of pain. A small girl with blue eyes winced as she barely touched the small scrap on her leg. Never did she expect to fall from the swing and sure did get a surprise from it when she did. Tears building in her eyes, she yelled again, "Tatsuha-kun!"_

_"Miyu-chan?" bursting over in a small brisk, a young boy toppled over to see what she was crying about. Tatsuha's raven hair shined in the sunlight, and quickly moved once he looked over at her injury. "What happened?" Not at all moving from her spot, Miyu pointed at the swing as if it was some kind of fiend._

_ "I fell from the swing," she sniffed, a tear falling from her eye and down to the dirt ground. "One of my ribbons fell out," pouting softly; she pointed to her missing hair bun. _

_Tending to her small scratch, probably from falling on the ground, Tatsuha gave her a shocked look. "Our parents said we shouldn't be swinging too high, Miyu-chan." He enforced, not wanting to get into trouble._

_ "I wasn't!" Miyu cried. "I was swinging good until it bit me."_

_Rubbing where she had fallen, Tatsuha helped her to her feet and proceeding to dust off her little dress. Giving her a small smile, he walked towards the swing to look for her red, missing ribbon. "There it is," Tatsuha spoke almost excitedly, as if it was something huge. Twirling the smooth fabric in his hands, he showed it to Miyu. "Look, Miyu-chan! I found it really fast like a doggie!"_

_ "My ribbon," Miyu wiped her eyes dry, which instantly got as big as plates after seeing what she was looking for. Toddling over to the raven eyed boy, she threw herself into an embrace. "Thanks, Tatsuha-kun!"_

_Losing balance, Tatsuha whimpered at the thought of getting himself and Miyu again hurt. Wrapping his arms around the girl, he got his balance back. "It's no big deal," he laughed. Taking some of her hair in his small hands, he wrapped it up in a small bun and tied the ribbon around it. "You look cute with your hair up like that Miyu-chan," he stammered._

_Unsure of how to really respond, Miyu just gave him a large smile to indicate how happy she was. _

_ "Tohma brought me a video of his band again today," Tatsuha became much more enthusiastic. "He said me and you could watch it after we eat lunch because how much we liked the other one he brought."_

_Getting excited as her friend was, Miyu jumped up and down in her pink shoes, "Hooray! We can dance again, right?"_

_ "Okay, but I am the main guy this time," Tatsuha pouted. He hated that every time they watched a video Tohma brought of his band, Miyu had to be the 'main guy' who sang._

_Throwing up her arms, Miyu was on the brink of crying again. "No," she whined. "I want to be the singing person. He is who I want to be when I am grown-up!"_

_ "Okay," Tatsuha grumbled, deciding he would just be a dancer or something when they listened to the music blaring form the television. "Tohma said something about how he is not in the band anymore because the main guy," a pause. "Ryu-u-uichi went away." _

_Miyu looked appalled, after all, the singer was her favorite person in the group. "Where did he go?" _

_ "I can't remember," Tatsuha puzzled, slapping his head in a comedic way. "Someplace far away, though."_

_Not taking another thought, Miyu gazed at Tatsuha with the most innocent look. "You are so nice to me," she said, touching the bun he had fixed for her._

_"Of course I am silly," Tatsuha said in the utmost cutely manner, "you are family!"_

_Nodding in agreement, Miyu snagged Tatsuha's hand and tightened her grip. "I like you Tatsuha-kun," she cooed._

_ "I like you too, Miyu-chan."_

_Overcome with joy, Miyu hugged Tatsuha again just like any other young child would. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Tatsuha brightly, her blue eyes waving like an ocean. "When we get older and I become a singer like that one guy, we should get married!"  
 "Miyu-chan," Tatsuha took a moment to take all what she had said. Even if he was the same age as she, he was a little more exposed to what feeling and emotions were because of what his family had told and preached. However, only being children of four, they had no real concept of what marriage meant. Smiling once again, he could sense Miyu's happiness swarm around him. "Sure, but only if I get to be one of the dancers!"_

_Hearing Tatsuha laugh made her follow him soon afterwards in the same chuckling. What he was laughing about made Miyu lost but her heart inflated even more to see him so happy, even after saying that. "Tatsuha-kun, we are always going to be best friends, right? And we will still be best friends when we grow-up, and get married?"_

_ "Of course we will, Miyu-chan."_

_

* * *

_

 "Not that dream again," Miyu shifted in her bed, sitting up. Looking out her window, she watched three birds sing to one another on a small branch. Haunted by her past, she could only shake it off every morning. "So much for everything we told each other," she said to herself in an almost humorous way. As much as it hurt to even realize such a thing, she would have to face it sooner or later.

 It was not soon after the night she had seen Tatsuha when Eichiro had told her he could not go through with her deal and explained to her why thoroughly. He had said something about how inhumane it was of her to try and break apart what Tatsuha was having with Ryuichi and how happy he was with him. Even if she despised the very thought of him courting with Ryuichi... was she going too far? She did not feel like a monster but to everyone else, she might as well be one.

 Why was she trying so hard to get Tatsuha away from Ryuichi and have him all to herself? Something almost drove her to do such things, all the while not letting her know why she was doing it. It caused Tatsuha anger and pain, so why should she even do it? Millions of times she would just sit down in a chair and just tell herself she might as well give up and move on.

Why couldn't she just do something **that** simple?

Trotting slowly to a small mirror, Miyu took hold of a large amount of her hair, pulling it up in some kind of bun shape. Smiling, she did kind of look cute that way.

 "I'm off," Miyu chimed aloud to her mother and father, tapping on her school shoes before racing out the door. Even going to school seemed sort of useless anymore, especially when you had no one there waiting for you. Getting out the door and looking about, Miyu actually did have someone waiting for her.

 "Yo," Eichiro waved sternly, his sunglasses shining off the morning sunlight. He must have been waiting for the past twenty minutes for her by the tree nearest to her house. Getting out of his leaning position against the tree once Miyu got to him, he smiled. "Let me carry these for you," he insisted, grabbing Miyu's schoolbooks from her hands.

Yawning slowly and throwing back a few straightway hairs, she only glanced up at Eichiro. He was walking merrily about with a silly, small smile on his face. His sunglasses guarded any sight of his eyes, shadowing the many vague emotions you could see within them. It was pretty mysterious, but Eichiro had to be _cool_ somehow.

 "How long has it been?" starting off a conversation, Miyu walked beside Eichiro but never looked at him. The cherry blossoms were starting to disappear from the trees, leaving a weird feeling in the air.

Pulling the many books back up to his chest, just incase they may fall; Eichiro had no idea what she was talking about. "Since when?"

 "Me you and Tatsuha went out together," straining to get all the ruffles out of her school skirt, Miyu purposely elbowed Eichiro slightly, causing a small gasp to escape from him. "And when you chickened out from the plan."

Wanting to say so much to her at that moment, Eichiro gritted his teeth and was in complete attack mode. He never really 'chickened out' from the damn plan, just refused to do so because of what he saw. Instead, he decided to just deal with all of this stupid occurrences. "A month and two weeks ago," he answered almost like an automatic calendar.

 "That long?" Miyu shook the feeling off from her shoulders. Walking closer to Eichiro, she eventually leaned her head against his arm and ignored his muffles from embarrassment. "I only see him at school and… that's it."

Scratching the back of his head, Eichiro progressively put his arm around Miyu and gave her a few pats on the shoulder to console her, and for his own enjoyment. "He stops by my house every now and then, talking about how his life is going."

 "How is it going?" Miyu asked as if she did not care. Eichiro knew that it mattered a lot to her because she looked at him for an answer when he didn't speak. He laughed suddenly to cover up any other emotion.

 "Pretty good it seems. He and Ryuichi seem to be very close, excluding the fact he hasn't got any yet!"

 "Good," Miyu's voice flowed out silently. She got out of Eichiro's grip to speed up on her walking to school, leaving him dumbfounded.

Frowning slightly, Eichiro grabbed the rims of his sunglasses to take them off. The sky was a little dark and that was the only way to see her clearly as she walked away. His deep, green eyes scooted around, following Miyu. "How is that good?" he wondered to himself, snapping his sunglasses back on and went to catch up with her. "Amori-chan!!"

_

* * *

_

"I think I may be sick," Tatsuha dragged his feet across the carpet and into the front room. He had a miserable expression, but his eyes almost said otherwise. Ryuichi obviously heard what he had said, but did not stop playing with Kumagorou on the floor.

 "You are feeling bad?" he asked, lying the pink bunny down and looked up at the boy. Ryuichi was pretty worried, even if Tatsuha had used this statement thousands of times on school mornings. He waited for Tatsuha to join him on the floor to feel his forehead. "You don't feel warm," he blinked.

Putting on a long face, Tatsuha groaned to himself and turned to his back. "But I feel awful! I think I may have to stay here."

 "Monday sickness?" Ryuichi comically asked, although it came out rather annoyed. He could see Tatsuha nodding from the corner of his eyes. Letting out a deep exhale, he started to play with Kumagorou again. "I have to go to work today, Tatsuha-kun."

 "Call in sick," he replied, making it seem so easy.

Ryuichi giggled playfully, poking Tatsuha in the side, "like you?"

 "Hey," Tatsuha gave him a demanding look, "I really am sick!"

Bonking Tatsuha on the head with the pink bunny, he got the perfect opportunity to catch in a warm kiss. Pressing his lips against Tatsuha's, he felt a soft purr come from his mouth. The warm feeling of Tatsuha's arms around him made him feel more alive than anything, even standing up on stage and getting cheered by millions of people could not beat Tatsuha's company.

 Licking Ryuichi's bottom lip, Tatsuha opted to rubbing the man's back. "Honestly, I am not really sick."

"Kisses always make you tell the truth," Ryuichi hugged onto him, smelling the new cologne he was wearing. Rubbing his cheek against his shirt, he could hear the fabric sliding silently. "Don't you have a test today?"

 "I do tomorrow," he felt a little like a procrastinator. "An English test, too. I can't speak a lick of English, except for a few verses like 'excuse me' and 'I can't speak English'."

Pulling out his cell phone, Ryuichi clicked through the list of phone numbers he had listed, searching for a certain number. "What do you want to do today, Tatsu-kun?"

 "Get in your pants," he commented smugly, humor dripping all over it. Even the look his received from Ryuichi did not make him stop from a short giggle, and then proceeding into true thought. "We should go out on the city, babe. There is a lot of stuff to do around Tokyo!"

Tapping his index finger to his mouth, Ryuichi signaled for Tatsuha to be quiet. Tapping a button on his cell phone, he brought the device to his ear and waited for a response. Of course, it was evident when someone answered by his alertness. "Is Seguchi Tohma in his office? This is Sakuma Ryuichi."

 "You are actually calling N-G Studios?" Tatsuha burled, astounded that maybe he and Ryuichi would just hang out together today.

 "He isn't at the moment?" Ryuichi's voice lowered, a frown appearing on his face. "No, I don't need to speak to Noriko. However, when you see one of them, tell them I am sick today. Thanks," turning off the cell phone, Ryuichi exhaled to himself and looked at Tatsuha with a toothy grin. "I do too much for you."

 "No," Tatsuha jumped to his feet, searching for his shoes. "You just love me," he corrected him as he found his sneakers and slipped them on. Not hearing a decline, he sure was happy.

 "Too much," Ryuichi corrected as a comeback, reaching for the nearest pillow and flopping down on it. He listened as Tatsuha's footsteps increased to come towards him. The stopped suddenly and he could see two sneakers standing beside him.

Tapping his foot, Tatsuha glanced down at him with a jacket thrown over his shoulder. "You going with me, or are you really going to play sick?"

 "I'm going with you!" Ryuichi whined, getting up and throwing himself into Tatsuha's arms. "We should go to the zoo, Tatsu-kun!"

Chocking back a comment, Tatsuha nudge a little before replying calmly, "Um, we have been there twice, Ryuichi. The last time we went wasn't exactly that great." The next thing Tatsuha knew, Ryuichi threw himself off of Tatsuha and stomped to the door.

 "Is that how you see it?" Ryuichi groaned. "The last time we were out the zoo was the fourth time we kissed, if you can even remember!"

Blinking from confusion, he examined Ryuichi's actions before even commenting. "You know, you are acting like a lot of women I have dated."

 "Well, that is because you are dating me," Ryuichi whimpered. He looked at Tatsuha with teary eyes, hoping for an apology.

In defeat, Tatsuha walked over to Ryuichi to give him a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry. I just want to do something more romantic or something." The stars in Ryuichi's eyes were evidence that he was impressed with his suggestion.

 "Romantic?" he cooed, grasped onto his hands. Without another moment to speak, Ryuichi dragged Tatsuha out the door in a hurry. "Where do you want to go?" he asked with much excitement. Noticing the grin on Tatsuha's face, Ryuichi had to speak up before he said his famous line. "No, not in my pants," he giggled. Not even hearing another word from him, Ryuichi puzzled until he came to a conclusion. "Tokyo Tower!"

Interested in the idea, Tatsuha gave a nod. Tokyo Tower was a famous landmark in all of Tokyo, and surely was a huge attraction for couples to go to. The special observation station would be the most romantic place for the both of them to be together. Being away from school to be with Ryuichi was a great idea!

 He and Ryuichi walked together, because they both thought taking a bus was too much of a hassle. In fact, Ryuichi did not live that far away from the tower anyways. The only problem they encountered along the way was the many people whispering to each other, noticing that Sakuma Ryuichi was walking around right before their eyes. Women and men alike would approach him, ask if he was truly Ryuichi, and go on to ask for an autograph or just praise him. It was almost amazing how Ryuichi seemed so jaunty to every single person who came to him, not seemingly annoyed or bothered at all, even after the twelfth one came around. One thing about Ryuichi that stuck out was his sweet personality and kind aura.

 "There's Tokyo Tower," Tatsuha spoke up, as if they could not have seen the 333 meter tall structure once they walked out of the _house_. The red and white colors seemed to blind in together almost perfectly, and the red light at the very top, blinking on and off was almost like a shouting for it to be noticed. It sure got the attention it was wanting.

The Nittle Grasper vocalist must have visited the Tokyo Tower once many times before, but it surely did not stop him from being overjoyed by the sight of it. Anyone would get a few jitters by standing next to the enormous thing, looking down at you with its great mass. "I want to see the fish," Ryuichi said enthusiastically, dashing off like an airplane.

To much dismay, Tokyo Tower seemed to have a lot of things other than its superb view amongst the city. On the first floor you could go and see an aquarium, or just sit around at some of the cafes and order a meal. The third floor holds a wax museum and other attractions, and then the fourth floor has a Trick Art Gallery. That was probably why it gained millions of visitors a year; the interesting attractions.

Walking up to it, Tatsuha finally could understand the height of the tower. It sure was tall, reaching up to the clouds and grabbing the sun. Well, it almost seemed that way. Crowds of people were walking in and out of the door to enter Tokyo Tower, and Ryuichi was waiting right up there for him to catch up. "Come on, Tatsu-kun!" he would holler, smiling at his boyfriend.

 "Coming," Tatsuha gulped down. It was common for a sheltered Kyoto boy to have never gone inside the accomplishment, and he sure had never been in. Making his way to the door, he almost held up a few lines until he squeezed his way through to Ryuichi. Not knowing what to do next, he let Ryuichi take his hand and traverse over to a door.

 "The aquarium is in here," Ryuichi instructed him, almost like he knew Tatsuha had never been here before. Opening the doors, you could get the best glimpse of aquatic animals swimming about in their tanks. Reflections of blue, clean water shimmered across the walls. "Look," Ryuichi said, pointing at a rather large turtle gliding around in the water. Its stubby arms flapped like wings, gaining him speed. "That's me!"

 "A turtle?" Tatsuha could not help but laugh at his childish behavior. He could see Ryuichi as many things, but never had he imagined a turtle. Not even wanting to question Ryuichi's happiness, he searched the many fishes himself. The only thing he could really associate with himself was a ribbonfish. Something caught his eye, and he tugged at Ryuichi's shirt. "Let's go to the observation stations."

 "Let's go to the special one," Ryuichi suggested, grasping at his hand and walking out of the aquarium. Tatsuha, on the other hand, was looking back at something. "Tohma and Noriko have taken me here before, but we never went to the special observation station."

 "Why's that?" Tatsuha asked, curious of why the three of them did not want to get the amazing view of Tokyo from a bird's eye view. The special observation deck was the highest, and the one where many couples went to. A shrug was the only answer he got. "Elevators, huh?" he said, noticing that the stairs would probably be the worst decision. Cuddling up in the elevator with Ryuichi was a nice thing, but being crammed in the elevator with a lot of people while doing so wasn't.

 With a beep, the elevator stopped and its doors opened. There were many people looking through the observation binoculars, and others just stood looking out the windows. Ryuichi to no time to look out the window and at the thousands of buildings below. "So high," he dazzled at the mere height they were standing in. You could only see the tops of building, like little blocks. Not at the top, they stood about 250 meters high and it sure was neat.

 "I never knew Tokyo could be so beautiful," Tatsuha admired the scenery. "It is dirty, crazy, and amazing down in Tokyo because of the lights and things you see. However, up here, you would never really know."

Ryuichi's chest rose and fell with a large sigh, leaning his head against Tatsuha and closing his eyes. "I used to be afraid of heights," he admitted. "That is the reason why Nittle Grasper did not come up here before, because I whining and afraid to be up so high. Being here with you kind of got rid of that feeling and I am glad I could see this with you, Tatsu-kun."

 "Me too. I love yo-"

 "Yo!" a voice shouted, patting Tatsuha on the back, nearly making him fall on his face. Turning around to see the dumbass who hit him, he came face to face with his best friend, Eichiro. "Enjoying the view, Tatsuha?"

 "Eichiro?" he questioned why he was even here instead of school. "What the hell?"

Lifting his sunglasses down, Eichiro finally got a good look of Ryuichi. Straightening up his shirt, he held out his hand to the vocalist. "Sakuma Ryuichi, am I right? I am Eichiro, one of Tatsuha's friends."

 "I remember you," Ryuichi said with a smile as he shook his hand. It took him a little while to even recognize his face. Examining Eichiro was not that hard to do, seeing as you should be able to point him in the crowd because of his sunglasses.

Not being able to take the wait any longer, Tatsuha broke in between the hand shake. "Eichiro, why are you here? I thought I saw you waving at me at the aquarium."

 "Yeah, and you ran off from me," Eichiro pouted, giving a stray dog look. "The reason I am here is because of a school trip. We just got here recently, if you must know."

A light went off in Tatsuha's head, "That means Miyu, doesn't it?" he asked Eichiro who merely smiled. Wanting to jump out of the Tokyo Tower window, he decided not to once he heard Ryuichi speak up.

 "Amori-san?" he asked simply. "I remember her too. I talked to her on the phone awhile back, but I have not seen here in a long time."

Rubbing his locks, Eichiro just looked around the station. "Well, she is a lot more timid than what she used to be about this one person. I know that would be good information for someone," his eyes went to Tatsuha. "She says she has given up."

 "What?" Tatsuha echoed, almost feeling run over. Miyu just wouldn't give up, because if she did, that meant she was probably just depressed enough to say that. For a moment, he kind of felt like an asshole. However, before anymore conversation went on, a big gust of wind came by.

 "Ei-chan!" Miyu screamed, throwing herself at her friend. Gaining her balance, she looked over at Tatsuha and Ryuichi to only give them a happy wave. "Hi Tatsuha-kun," she greeted.

 "You messed up my sunglasses Amori-chan," Eichiro whined, trying to fix them in their proper place. Miyu unwrapped her arms around Eichiro to stop his constant blushing and gave something to Tatsuha in a box. "Here, I feel kind of stupid for keeping this for years. I thought maybe you would want it or something."

 "Thanks?" was all he could say, not knowing at all what it was. Ryuichi leaned over his shoulder to just see the box, hoping he would open it. "Listen, if the teacher is here, I better get going."

Laughing, Miyu rolled up a brochure she had in her hand and waved it at Tatsuha. "Not wanting to get caught, bad boy?"

 "Not really."

Eichiro sighed with relief, "Okay, see you later, skipper." He watched as Ryuichi and Tatsuha walked out of the station and enter the elevator. A little concerned, he turned to Miyu who already went to look out the window. "Are you sure it doesn't bug you? That was a precious item to you."

 "I need to move on," she turned her head to look in another direction of the city. The whole conversation did not seem to bother her at all one bit. "Maybe I should date you, _Ei-chan_."

 "Shut up," he grumbled underneath his breath. Watching Miyu come towards him, he felt his heart beat faster with each step she took.

 "That's okay," she cooed, whispering in his ear. "After all, we both love the same person."

_

* * *

_

 The door creaked as both Ryuichi and Tatsuha entered the house. It was quiet and it was nothing new at all. Throwing the box down on the couch, Tatsuha walked into the kitchen. Only Ryuichi cared about the gift he received for Miyu.

 "Hey," he dived at the box and grabbed it, holding it to his chest. "This was a sentiment for you, Tatsu-kun. You can't just throw it around."

Taking a drink from a milk carton, he rolled his eyes before he was able to answer. "Like I care, it is probably something stupid."

 "Well, you have to open it sometime," he demanded. It would have been rude if he was to open it. Tatsuha sat down on the couch next to Ryuichi, held the box and sat it down on a small coffee table.

 "I will later," he promised him. Not even really wanting to find out was inside, he still was a little curious, especially when Miyu had 'given up' on him.

The cushions started to shake as Ryuichi scurried closer to Tatsuha, practically sitting on his lap. His arms went around Tatsuha's neck, supporting him self from falling backwards. Looking into his raven eyes, some kind of force seemed to pull him into a kiss. Pushing into the kiss deeper, Ryuichi opened his mouth slightly for Tatsuha to enter his tongue. Tatsuha was more than happy to explore Ryuichi's mouth, rubbing his tongue against his.

 Slight whimpers and moans made Tatsuha even more encouraged to continue on with their passionate kissing. In the sensation of it all, he went to nibble on his bottom lip while his hand traveled up Ryuichi's shirt, feeling his soft skin.

 "Cold," Ryuichi breathed, commenting on his freezing hands against his warm flesh. Shivering from the feel of his fingertips crawling up his chest, Ryuichi held on tighter to the seventeen year old. "I love you," he said clearly. The whole statement seemed like he had forgotten they were in such a process and it made Tatsuha feel a little weird. Building up all the courage he could muster, he parted his lips.

 "Do you want to go to bed?"

Looking out the window, Ryuichi saw the sun still way up in the sky. "It's still morning," he reminded him, a little uneasy of what Tatsuha was implying.

"I know," he responded in a deep voice. It seemed so stern yet emotional. His eyes were full of passion, yet the very essence of doubt was drawn within them. About ready to regret saying what he did, he heaved.

 "Yeah," Ryuichi said in a low voice, but audible enough for Tatsuha to hear. His cheeks were a bright red and his eyes could barely even stand looking into Tatsuha's own for long without turning away, "I want to."

 "Ryuichi," Tatsuha was a little amazed. After all this time, he never thought Ryuichi would be willingly to go to bed with him in knowing the consequences. He would truly become his once and for awhile. Leaning into a kiss, Tatsuha finally understood why people always say that being in a relationship and loving someone is wonderful.

Being with Ryuichi made him complete.

_

* * *

_

 The sound of a distinct alarm set off suddenly, beeping like crazy.  The room was a pitch black and the curtains were drifting in the breeze coming from the outside. The only light was coming from the creaks in the curtains, and the lighted numbers from the alarm clock; which was still beeping.

 "God damn," Tatsuha groaned hoarsely, pounding down on the clock to stop its evil noise. Feeling around, he captured the wire to the lamp and twisted it on. Ryuichi's room was his surroundings, like always. It only was a brief second until he remembered the night he had with Ryuichi.

 Looking over, he saw Ryuichi lying in bed next to him, cuddle up in the covers. He face was so innocent and divine, with his mouth slightly agape. Only a sleeping child could be compared to what he looked like in his slumber. Locks of hair hung down in front of his eyes, which would twitch a bit every once and awhile. He was so perfect. It was hard to believe Tatsuha was holding that body last night, doing what he always wanted to do with it.

 "Mmm," Ryuichi groaned, opening his eyes slightly. The light awoken him and he just looked up at Tatsuha, "morning." He managed to say, his voice still a little scratchy from last night. Rubbing his face down into his pillow, he murmured. "I can't believe I have to go to work today."

Not only did Tatsuha have to go to school, but he still had to get ready! "Shit," he said, getting to his feet and searched for his clothes. "I need to go to school." Grabbing all the clothes of his he could find, he hurried to put them on as fats as he could. Fully dressed and ready, he headed for the door. "I got to go, Ryuichi. I love you, bye."

He had no time to wait for a response from him and jetted down the stairs, even jumping over a few of them to hit the floor. Going past the main room, he stopped almost instantly from spotting something inside. Quickly walking into the main room, he picked up the small box Miyu had given him the day before. Opening it up, he felt a little dumbfounded on what was inside.

 "A red ribbon?" he said, holding up the small piece of fabric to his face. It seemed pretty old with it being dirty and ripped, but still did not lose its muster. The red still glimmered. "Why the hell would she give me a ribbon?"

 Then, he remembered she said she had been keeping it over the years, and it finally hit him. It was the exact ribbon she had lost thirteen years ago and he had found when she fell from the swing. Miyu must have treasured it because he told her how cute she looked with her hair up with those ribbons. Dropping the ribbon, he felt like a complete jerk. He did not even wish to take the gift, yet just now realized its importance. It was a symbol of how much Miyu had loved him, even after thirteen years.

 The ribbon hit the floor, twisting up in it like a puddle.

 It was then; Tatsuha realized how much Miyu really meant to him.

**END CHAPTER 12**

This is one of shortest chapters I have done. I AM SO SORRY!! This short chapter probably made everyone run away from my fanfic; hating it or something. Oh well, at least we are getting to the main plot. It is so short because of a lot of things going on in my life.

The next one will be long, I promise!!!! Also, the horn dogs will be made at me because no sex scenes. =D

Also, in small reference:

I have been to Tokyo Tower so I decided to put some information and everything on it. Ryuichi and I have something in common… his hate for heights. Har!

Also, the words Tatsuha could only say in English were from Gravitation Remix 2. So, I bet hardly any of you even got that. I am so pathetic.

Now, reviews!(I want more.)

**Nittle Grasper Wonder: **Howdy! Eichiro and Tatsuha together is a cute idea, yet they would probably fight a lot. They are too much alike in some factors; however, I hope you liked how I did that in my chapter!!

**Woodsie: **You liked the chapter? Thank you oh so much, girl. The manga is great, and I love it to death. I have all twelve Japanese volumes and can read it fairly well. =P

**Cherry-Wolf: **You're right, I put them in the same house… what was I thinking!? It could only end in a sonic boom, I tell you! Heh. Hm, filler like? Really, a lot of what was said in this chapter is going to play later on. I don't make chapters that have no meaning. You are cynical, wanting all of them to find out and everything. Now, because I am your master, fetch me some grapes!

**Queen of Vegetasei: **Your review wasn't cruel. In fact, the fanfic is getting somewhere. However, I am someone who likes to try and put a realistic touch on my stories. Exciting things don't pop out of nowhere everyday, so I try and make moments seem just like a normal day for a couple or anyone. Now, this chapter was the gearing point of the plot. Basically, it is going to be a dramatic kind of thing for both Ryuichi and Tatsuha trying to be together… sort of. Yuki was kind of in character… weirdly. Now, Tatsuha did not cum because they weren't really having sex. Jacking Ryuichi off is more like it. Believe me, I know not all males will ejaculate by just fooling around with clothes on. Been there with many partners. Wedding dresses?..... I need to go laugh for a minute.

** Ish: **Um, Ryuichi is shorter than Shuichi. Ryuichi is 5'4 and Shuichi is 5'5. Also, Tatsuha is a lot taller than Ryuichi, because Tatsuha is 5'11, almost 6'0. In comparison, that is a big difference. Also, don't worry, I am short too. WE RULE THE WORLD! Also, I am partial to Ryuichi being an uke… because he was with Tatsuha in the Remixes. drools

**BadLuckShuichi: **Useless brain? Yay, another useless brain is reading this fanfic! And guess what my friend: You are in the review thingy again!!

**PikuPiku: **It's not pointless. Also, if you love them a lot, you will like my new fanfic coming soon. After Angel Dust is finished, I have a Yuki/Shuichi fanfic to serve!

**Zufu-chan: **I am… okay! I AM THE GREAT KUMAGOROUBEAM-SAMA!! Thanks for the comments and coffee by the way, I love you!!!

**Ellechan: **Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!! You have a lot going for you. Miyu and Tatsuha being implied for that comment made my brain think of something, so thanks a bunch! Review because I have more romancin'!!


	13. Cell phone call

_ANGEL DUST_

**Chapter 13**

   "Have you two finally settled things?" the bald man asked, his voice sounding a lot raspier than what it usually was. His monk garments were lying on the floor because of his sitting position, curling over fabric on fabric. His wrinkled eyes did not wander far until he could see Tatsuha in a good viewing angle. The tall boy was too wearing his monk attire yet paid no real heed to the endless praying he had to endure at his house. Shrugging with little concern, he muttered quietly.

 "I guess so," it was so obvious who his father spoke of that he did not even need to ask. Hand covering his mouth, Tatsuha almost whimpered out what he said next. "She gave me… something yesterday."

The very look on his father's face almost made it seem like he knew what she had given him, as if he was in on it. "I see," he coughed. "Miyu-san had informed me about a week ago that she was going to give you her ribbon. In a way, I am kind of disappointed in you."

Jerking up quickly, Tatsuha blinked three times before even realizing what his father had just said. Never in his life had he said such a thing to him, and the only child he would say so to was Eiri. "Why?"

 "I see it as Miyu-san's gain and your loss," wrapping his fingers around his small teacup, the elder monk looked at Tatsuha in the most serious way possible. "I do not hate you for what kind of lifestyle you choose, Tatsuha. However, becoming your disrespectful brother will cause a horrid distaste in my mouth."

 "Is that how you see me?" Tatsuha's mouth was agape, "as some kind of carbon copy of my brother? You are just afraid that I will somehow morph into him, and leave you here by yourself, don't your father?"

The hot tea rippled once his father placed it down on the table, steam igniting into the air. The monk raised his arm to swing it back down, slapping Tatsuha across the face. "How dare you, Tatsuha! To speak so to me, you might as well be a carbon copy of Eiri. You think so down on me when all I want is for you to not become some damn lowlife such as your brother."

 "Shit," Tatsuha cursed, holding on tight to the cheek his father's stern hand met with. He could feel some tears build up in his eyes, but he just could not let his old man see him cry, at least not now. "I would rather be a lowlife," his voice cracked, giving sure proof that he was on the brink of tears. Stumbling to his feet, he got a good look at his father before walking out the door, remembering how indignant and hateful he was looking at him. At that moment, he knew why Eiri hated him so much.

"Why am I so cursed?" the elder man exhaled, slapping his hand to his forehead and running it down his face.

   Entering his room, Tatsuha browsed about at his many forgotten things. All of his clothes has been dragged out of the room and taken to Ryuichi's house, among many other necessities of his. The main thing he that was left behind was his Nittle Grasper CDs, posters, videos and everything related to them. He had no idea why it was so, but every since he started being with Ryuichi, and fell in love with him, he had no real desire to have the band items. The only real reason he liked Nittle Grasper was because of Ryuichi and now that he was with him, he did not need to hug a picture of Ryuichi when he could just embrace the real thing! Why kiss an image when the genuine person asks for one from you everyday? Being with Ryuichi made him feel wanted and loved, something he never felt before and acknowledged it.

 Turning over to his bed, he spotted the small, red ribbon of Miyu's. Grasping the ribbon in his hand, he quickly contemplated on how much he really loved Miyu. It was true that he loved Ryuichi more than anything, but he had loved Miyu for a much longer time without even knowing it. How can you love someone when you never knew how to before? Miyu had always offered everything to Tatsuha, even her hand in marriage, yet he refused everything she had thrown at him. It was true he got annoyed at her at times, yet he always did enjoy her company and her sweet nothings she would say to him. He always looked out for, and he discovered recently that he did so because he wanted no other person to have her; like how he acted to Eichiro on their night out. The only thing he was drawn away from her was because they were cousins, and he would use that as an excuse so they could not be close or was sexual actions on each other. However, when they did do such things, he loved every moment of it. He loved being around Miyu, teasing her whenever he could, and just seeing her. Miyu was like a prize possession to him, but it only took him thirteen years to realize it. Did he really love her more than Ryuichi?

A Nittle Grasper CD in one hand, and the red ribbon in the other. Tatsuha looked at both, his heart sinking with an enormous hole through it. He loved both the man and the woman but who he loved more was vexing him. Throwing his head down, he cried.

"God damn."

* * *

   "A concert?" Noriko's melodic voice ringed, looking at the small schedule in her hands. Tohma was working on some of his work papers, and Ryuichi was busy eating a sandwich. Giving her two band members a queer look, her voice came in flows. "We don't even have a new song to play at this up-coming concert."

Pushing down the lat bit of the bread, Ryuichi tried to speak through a stuffed mouth. "I can write something," he managed to get through. Swallowing the rest of his food, he smiled. "I can't be that hard to write one song in a few days."

 "The concert is in a couple days Ryuichi," Tohma cautioned. "Are you sure you want to go to such lengths? I mean, we could just use an old song we haven't used in awhile or one we never did at concert."

Ryuichi showed he disliked the idea by rolling his eyes. Sitting up with his legs crossed, he twisted his earrings. "I want to write a new song. It will be done before the concert, okay?"

 "Making a new song in a few days is kind of difficult, Ryu-chan," Noriko was a little worried about the idea, too. "We are not sure if we have enough time to compose a brand new song in a few days." Ryuichi took one glance at her before patting himself on the chest.

 "I can do it!" he bellowed, "We can make a new song easily, just like we used to do! Just because we are getting older doesn't mean we haven't lost our touch or anything."

 "Well, we will give it a try," Tohma finished. It may not have been the best idea, but Ryuichi seemed determined on making a new song that you probably could not make him think otherwise. Ryuichi cheered happily, prancing about the room with Kumagorou hanging on tightly to his head.

Snatching a piece of white paper from Tohma's desk, Ryuichi giggled to himself, "I better get started on these lyrics." Taking a pencil from his pocket, he curled it up in his fingers and brought the sharpened lead to the paper.  Tapping his foot for some sort of rhythm, he began to scribble something down.

 "What is the most important thing in your life?" Noriko spoke up, asking a weird question that you would most likely find in some magazine. Not even getting any eye contact from the both of them, she continued. "I know we all love our job and all, but there is always something more precious to us. For instance: My husband and daughter is the most important thing in my life."

"Eiri-san," Tohma said underneath a muttered breath, not even taking time to look up from his papers. Noriko only smiled that he responded, and responded _honestly._ She turned to Ryuichi, who was so engrossed on writing something down on the paper that he probably did not even hear her.

 "What about you Ryu-chan?" she asked, getting his attention. A little 'what' from his mouth gave her the idea that he was not listening, so she asked again. "What is the most important thing your life?"

Biting down on his pencil, Ryuichi started to really think about the question. Although, he looked both confused and thoughtful. Taking a gander at what he had written on his paper, he blushed. "Tatsu-kun."

"The most important thing to all of us isn't a **thing**, after all. We all love a someone," Tohma said happily. Looking up at Ryuichi, his eyes traveled down to the piece of paper he was holding. "What have you gotten down?"

 "Nothing much," Ryuichi said unnervingly. Grasping the paper to his chest, he laughed fakely, his voice shaking.

Noriko's curiousness grew suddenly with rapid speed that she ran up to Ryuichi and tried to take the paper away. "Let me see, Ryu-chan!"

 "No, get away!"

With a quick shift, Noriko got the paper with utmost ease and looked it over. Her eyes contrasted and a laugh escaped her pink lips, and threw the paper back to Ryuichi. "That's cute, Ryu-chan."

 "Shut up," Ryuichi blushed. He looked down at his paper, which had 'I love Tatsu-kun' inside a huge heart he drew. Not taking another moment to waste, he hugged onto the paper with all of his might. "I love Tatsu-kun," he cooed to himself.

 "Last night is taking effect, eh?" Noriko said dryly, grinning at Ryuichi. How she knew about what Tatsuha and Ryuichi ha done last night was behind anyone. Laughing, she caught the small pillow Ryuichi threw at her from embarrassment. The sound of knocking made them all seize their actions. As the door opened, a rather large man peered in. It was a worker from N-G.

 "Excuse me," he bowed. After taking his courteous gesture, he looked over at Ryuichi. "You have a guest that insisted on seeing you for something. She says she knows you."

The pink bunny fell from his head, and fell into his arms. A little puzzled, he could not think of anyone that he knew who would come to see him at work. Not wanting to be rude, and wanting to know who it was, he nodded. "Let her in."

 "H-Hi," an almost inaudible voice muffled behind the worker, quiet and sweet. Miyu walked in the door, looking shy and unsure of her self. The door shut behind her, causing her to look back.

 "Amori-san?" Tohma was surprised to say the least. He had not seen the girl since she was a little girl play tea parties, and was basically Tatsuha's little follower. The look on Miyu's face signaled she was happy to see him, as well.

Scanning about, she got even redder in the face. "I can't believe I am in a room with the band Nittle Grasper," her legs started to shake. Feeling a hand pat her on the back, she yelped.

 "You're jumpy," Noriko said soothingly. "Sit down, sweetie."

Miyu obliged to her suggestion and sat down next to her, feeling a little more at ease. Fiddling with her rings, she could not figure out what to say. "I came here to say I'm sorry," she chocked.

 "Sorry?" Ryuichi asked, confused more than ever. What had she done to him that would make her want to apologize for? Watching her jitter about, he knew she was about ready to cry.

Miyu looked up at Ryuichi with a giant smile, "I am your number one fan, Ryuichi. In addition, I feel like I shouldn't be able to be called something so honorable for what I have thought about you."

 "Thought about me?" Ryuichi sighed, still confused. However, he rather got the idea that she probably thought of him badly. The girl started to look down at the carpet, looking melancholy. Smiling, Ryuichi walked over to the beautiful girl and placed Kumagorou in her lap. "Amori-chan, you are not a fan. You are my friend, okay?"

Miyu could not hold back any of her tears after what he had said, and started to blubber. Bringing her head up to look at him, she started to cry even harder. "Thank you, Sakuma-sama. You are so nice to me," she smiled.

 "That is how friends are supposed to be," Ryuichi laughed, making Kumagorou kiss her on the cheek cutely.

 "Ryu-chan," Noriko said, moved by how caring he was being to a girl he hardly even knew.

Miyu wiped a few tears from her eyes, feeling a little bit like a child. She took out her cell phone and started to go through some phone numbers. "Sakuma-sama, can you give me your cell number? Since we are friends and all, I would like to keep in touch."

 "Sure!" Ryuichi chirped, taking her cell phone and typing up the number she could call him by. Letting the phone go back to her, she shook his finger. "Call me anytime you need some guidance or something or if you just want to talk, okay?"

 "Thank you so much," she smiled, hugging Ryuichi.

* * *

   Entering the house, Tatsuha took note of the silence that awaited him. Only his breath and his slow footsteps against the floor was the only sound to be heard. Ryuichi should have been home by now, but Tohma and Noriko would occasionally make him work a while longer before letting him go. Clicking on the light switch, the room instantly lit up. Tatsuha looked about the room, even if he knew no one was home at the time being. Tossing the house key to the small table beside him, he sighed impatiently with his dark eyes scanning about.

Whether or not his constant battling of thoughts was to end, he knew that Miyu and Ryuichi would still be on his mind. How could he tell which one he loved more? How do you even know when you love two people?

 "Ouch," he hissed as he sat down on the couch. His legs were aching from the force he used against his motorcycle on the ride up and back from Kyoto. A soft sensation hit his hand, ticking him. Looking down, he saw the small ribbon peeking out from his pocket. Grabbing and pulling it all the way out, he took a good look at it. So beautiful.

 "Miyu," he whispered to himself. He wished that he could take back all the mean ways he acted towards her, telling her how he really felt. However, what would become of him and Ryuichi? The one man he always wanted could never be replaced in his heart. Could he?

The sound of clicking at the door got Tatsuha's attention, causing him to jump off the couch. He recognized the sound quickly, and knew Ryuichi was home. Unlocking the door, Ryuichi came hurling in with a turn of a knob. Jaunty as always, he was humming his whole way inside with Kumagorou tightly in his grasp.

 "Tatsu-kun," he purred like a kitten. Knowing exactly where to find him, he skipped over to the couch. Surprised to see him standing instead of sitting, Ryuichi's mouth dropped for a brief moment. "How's your dad?" he asked, taking out his hair tie, letting the small ponytail fall.

Wincing at the thought of the bastard, Tatsuha turned away from the shorter man. "Okay," he growled, not wanting to let Ryuichi know of him and his father's new relationship. However, Yuki would be _proud_.

 "Mad at your father?" he asked softly, not wanting Tatsuha to get mad at him. Walking around the couch, he went up to the dark-haired boy and started to rub his arm soothingly.

 "No," Tatsuha snorted. Feeling Ryuichi's small hands stop for a moment and then continue to caress his arm, he let out a sigh.

 "It's okay," he responded. "It's good to have a few arguments with your parents."

Shifting away, Tatsuha brushed off Ryuichi's arm. "I don't have a father, anymore." He hissed crudely, looking down at Ryuichi with the most serious look he could muster. Looking down at Ryuichi's wide, glassy eyes, he could sense that he hurt Ryuichi somehow. Maybe that is how Eiri feels with Shuichi. Instead of acting just as his brother any further, he took Ryuichi into an embrace. "I'm sorry," he cooed.

A little moan came from Ryuichi lips as he cuddled deep into Tatsuha's shirt, taking in every scent that was around him and feeling every sensation on his body. Tatsuha was so warm and being in his arms made him feel so protected and safe. A sot tickle started to go across the back of his neck, causing a shiver to go down his spine. Reaching back, he felt something thin and grabbed it.

"Hey!" Tatsuha warned, feeling the ribbon come out of his hands. Watching Ryuichi looked at the small thing, he noticed how his eyes looked as vexed as a foxes. "It's what Miyu gave me yesterday at Tokyo Tower."

"Amori-san?" Ryuichi grinned, being reminded of his new friend. "She came over to N-G Studios today and talked to me."

Grunting, Tatsuha jumped back a little. Miyu actually went and talked to Ryuichi? "Did she say anything about me?" wondering if maybe she still loved him truly or not, Tatsuha waited for a reply.

"No," he replied, handing the ribbon back to Tatsuha who took it back slowly. Tatsuha slumped back a little until Ryuichi hugged him again, causing him to stand upright. "I love you Tatsu-kun," he whispered almost inaudibly, but loud enough for Tatsuha to hear.

 "I love you too," Tatsuha said back, inhaling deeply and letting out a long exhale. It was true that he loved the very man he held, but he also loved someone else. To tell Ryuichi that would probably break his very heart, but Tatsuha yearned to just let him know to not cause any harder heartbreak. However, to tell him would mean to leave him…. He did not want that. To be so close to Ryuichi was a dream come true and he didn't want to give that up. However, he did not want to give Miyu up either. "I got to go," he managed to say.

Looking up at the confused boy, Ryuichi wondered. He had just gotten back home and now Tatsuha wanted to leave. "Where are you going to?"

 "My cousin's house," he finished. Slipping on his shoes and his black jacket, he could feel Ryuichi's faze on him. Building up even the smallest smile, he turned his head to look at him. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Miss me while I'm gone."

* * *

"I'm sorry Tatsuha-chan," the elder woman said, shaking her head. "My daughter went out with her friends just awhile ago."

Tatsuha's shoulders dropped and a small sigh came from his hard lips. Looking up at his distant relative at the doorway, he bowed slightly. "Thanks you, Amori-san. By any chance, do you know where they went?"

 "You don't need to be so polite with me, Tatsuha-chan. We have known each other for a long time," she giggled, patting him on the head while he was still bowing to her. Leaning her arm against the door, she brought her hand up to nitpick at one of her shirt buttons. "Miyu-chan told me that she and her friends were going to see a movie in Shibuya."

 "Shibuya?" he didn't realize that Miyu was that faraway, all the way in Tokyo! The whole trip to Kyoto was so meaningless now and he had wasted it. Her mother nodded sincerely and placed her hand on his arm.

 "Don't worry dear," she smiled. "They left just a few minutes ago. By now, they are probably still on the train so I am sure you can still call her."

Not even thinking of that before, a light in Tatsuha's eyes sprang, and he bowed from sheer excitement. "Thank you so much," he gratified. Blushing, he remembered that she had just told him that he had not need to be so polite and stood up as straight as he could. "I mean… thanks," he said in a deeper voice than usual.

 "No problem dear," she said, waving him off before shutting her door.

Tatsuha walked off, finding the nearest bench to sit down on. Feeling a little nervous, he took out his cell phone and called up Miyu's number. Listening to the loud ringing made him very impatient as it continued on, and on, and on. "Pick up Miyu," Tatsuha gulped down some saliva, hoping that she even had her cell phone with her. Then, the ringing stopped and he raised his head for her to answer his call. Her voice spoke up.

 "_I'm sorry; I can not answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and I will **try** to get back to you, okay? Bai-Bai!"_

Answering machines were the worst things ever made by man. Whenever you really wanted to talk to that person: Answering machine is there!

  Frustrated and disappointed already, Tatsuha decided to just leave a message. "Miyu, it's me. Please answer if you are there," waiting for only a few brief seconds, he continued. "Miyu… I only want to say I am sorry for being such a jackass to you for, well, thirteen years. I always saw you as a nuisance or just an annoyance, and sometimes just a tool for sex when I needed it. However, I never realized how much you cared for me and how much I care for you. I know this is awkward now, especially after all of these problems going on lately between us. I know you have given up or something, but now I wish you had not. I am just so confused. In fact, I sometimes think I would give Ryuichi up to be with you. I do not know, I am just so confused. I love you Miyu," with that, Tatsuha hung up as fast as he could. His heart was beating so fast that he could not even keep track of the amount of beats per second. He finally said it, and she and her friends were probably listening to it right now… laughing or something. You know how girls are.

 "I'm such a fool," he muttered to himself, throwing his cell phone on the ground. Letting himself relax on the bench, he rather hoped that his phone would ring, having Miyu call him back up.

The little phone did not even make one beep.

 "Maybe she hates me or something," Tatsuha pondered. It would not surprise him after how he acted towards her for so long, denying her feelings. Women could only put up with something for so long before letting go. Tatsuha finally understood how Miyu felt. He was living her life, as it was when she loved him, only feelings were swapped. It was time for him to get back home with Ryuichi.

 "Ryuichi!" he called out once entering the door. Once again, he returned home to find the house completely quiet amongst itself and dark to boot. Looking around, he only spotted Kumagorou sitting in his usual spot on the couch, watching a blank television screen. Picking up the pink bunny, Tatsuha mused. "Where could he be without you?" he asked the inanimate object, jiggling his head up and down as Ryuichi would do so often. Then, he spotted something white in his little bowtie. It was a piece of paper stuffed behind it, probably a note Ryuichi left for him to say Noriko took him out or something like he usually does. Opening it up, he read the following:

 '_I'll be back later, Tatsu-kun. I went out to the movies with Amori-san._

_                                                                                       Love, Ryuichi.'_

Shit.

* * *

   "Kyoto is so pretty," Ryuichi gasped as he and Miyu walked into the main center of Kyoto. They had both already seen the movie and decided to just go to Kyoto, since Ryuichi insisted on going because he had never seen the place before. Dashing across the thousands of shrines with chanting to be heard within inside, Ryuichi looked up at the largest Buddha statue in Kyoto. "Wow," he glimmered at the large rock. Ryuichi thought of something while looking back at all the wooden houses. "This place kind of makes you think of traditional Japan, huh Amori-san?"

 "In a way," she nodded. Turning to look out to the distance, you could see the city of Tokyo. It was not close, but not that far. The only thing blocking Kyoto and Tokyo was thousands and thousands of trees, which gave both cities a good distance away from each other. "I would much rather want to live in Tokyo," she gloated. "It may not be the best place, but much better than Kyoto. At least it is exciting there."

Ryuichi looked over to the very sight she was looking at. Tokyo looked beautiful from a distance, but just looked like a normal city up close with pros and cons within it. "Sometimes the excitement is the worst thing," he informed her, stilling gazing about Kyoto. Many of the people walked by in kimonos of many colors, catching Ryuichi's attention. Distant sounds of clacking were glittering in the soft wind, and Ryuichi looked around to see where the noise was coming from. "What was that?"

"This," Miyu pointed out to two large wooden planks standing up right about two three feet apart from each other, connecting by one large plank on the top of them. In the middle, rows of wooden bars hung down and strings hanged many little carved boxes and charms on them. On each box, something was written, dedicated to someone. The charms shook in the wind, causing them to smack against each other and cause clanking noises. "It is folklore that if you hang up a wooden charm on this with the name of the person you love, that you two will love each other forever and will always be together."

Not even speaking another word, Ryuichi just looked down at the many charms already hung up. Thousands of names that so many people had put up, hoping for the very folklore to grant them what they desired. Catching a glimpse of a blank charm, Ryuichi took out a permanent marker and took hold of it. "I hope the folklore is true," he said to himself, writing down Tatsuha's first and last name on the little charm. After writing it down, he placed a small kiss on the charm for extra luck, before letting it go back into the piles of charms.

 "It never worked for me," Miyu sighed. "I hope you have better luck." Ryuichi looked at her briefly before going back to search through the small charms. "Mine isn't in there because I took it off not too long ago. I kind of realized it was useless," she grinned, only to get a humble look from Ryuichi. Looking away, she took out her cell phone after hearing a small beep from it. Looking at the small screen, she read up that she had a voice message that had not been listened to. "Oh, a message. It seems I got it during the movie," she clicked on a few buttons before bringing the device to her ear, listening intently.

Ryuichi was so busy looking at all the small birds around and was most interested in a few Japanese white-eyes that sang about in the trees. "Tweet," Ryuichi giggled up at the birds that merely looked down at him and then looked away casually. The next thing he knew, Miyu walked up to him with her cell phone in her hand, reaching it out to him.

 "You might want to listen to this," she said, her eyes saying something mysterious. Ryuichi took the phone out of her hands and pushed down on the exact button he needed to. Once he heard the message start up, his eyes widened and he smiled happily.

 "It's Tatsu-kun!" starting to kick his feet around, he suddenly paused as he listened to the message further, quitting every action he was controlling. Easy to say, his happy face was completely gone from his features and some indescribable look came over his face. Miyu looked at his hand that was holding her cell phone and noticed how rapid it was shaking. In fact, Ryuichi's whole body was almost shaking and his face was going pale. Then, he dropped the phone and hit his knees on the dust ground.

Walking over, Miyu picked up her cell phone from the ground and started to dust it off. Ryuichi trembling and his whole body on the ground, Miyu spit. "Don't you get it now, Sakuma-_sama_?" she grinned, knowing she now finally had the upper hand. "I was just as surprised as you were. However, I knew my Tatsuha-kun would come around eventually. In all true fact, I am his fiancée."

 "What?" Ryuichi was able to choke up, his whole body shaking and tears already streaming down his cheeks.

Laughing, Miyu curled her hair between her fingers. "We are engaged, fool. We have been before Tatsuha even kissed you on his little trip he won with you. Don't you get it? Tatsuha-kun felt nothing for you from the very start! He just tricked you to have sex with you, just like he does with every other man and women he has been with." Putting her hand to her chest, she blinked a few times. "Oh, he probably didn't even mention that to you either. Tatsuha-kun is nothing but a player. He had knocked up so many people and you are just another one to his list, he probably already graded you with some kind of rank. He only used you for his own pleasure Sakuma. Just like he does with everyone else. He could never love you because he does not know the difference from lust and love. You are nothing to him and you never will be."

Not wanting to hear any of what she was telling him, Ryuichi tried his best to block out every word she spoke out. However, he could not help but listen. He did not want to believe he, he could not believe what he was hearing… but he did. Sniffling and bawling, he held himself tight, trying to overcome the agonizing pain in his lower stomach. Miyu was right; Tatsuha had only used him and never loved him. He had been so foolish to not even see so, and now, he paid for it. He had fallen in love with the boy that only was out to plant heartbreak on him. How could he do such a thing? How could he just do such things with him, telling him he loves him and then just throw him away like this? Why did he kept doing so, letting Ryuichi fall in love with him? Why couldn't he do it before he got engrossed with the boy?

Why did he even have to meet him?

It hurt. It hurt so much.

* * *

 "Miyu!" Tatsuha spotted the brown-headed beauty about ready to go into her house and yelled after her. It sure was an exhausting day for Tatsuha: running back and forth from Kyoto and Tokyo. Running up to her, he started to catch his breath.

Miyu smiled widely and held her arms open, "Darling!" she said with a purr, flinging herself on him.

 "Darling?" he queried her. Pushing her back into viewing distance, he gave her a serious glance. "I thought you have given up on me."

Covering her mouth for a sweet giggle, Miyu shook her index finger in front of his face. "Tsk, tsk. That is no way to speak to your wife."

 "Where's Ryuichi?" he asked, his voice getting deeper because of her attitude. Something was wrong and Tatsuha could tell just by the way she was looking at him. "Where is he?!"

Miyu placed her hand on Tatsuha's arm, patting it softly. "Oh, he went home when Noriko came over to take him home. He was so busy crying that he did not even get the chance to say goodbye to me. What a pity," she looked up at Tatsuha with a fire in her eyes. "It doesn't matter now, though. You love me, after all."

 "I don't love you," Tatsuha hissed at her, a flame starting to rage in his body. Miyu only chuckled, flashing her cell phone in front of him.

 "Your message says otherwise, darling."

Slapping the little phone from her hands, Tatsuha went at her wrists and squeezed on tight. "I am confused, Miyu. Don't take everything I say seriously," lowering his voice, he looked at her apathetically. "What did you say to him?"

 "I let him listen to the message you left. After all, he has every right to hear what his lover has to say," lowering her gaze, she grinned. "Then I said a few things here and there. That's all."

 "Like what?"

Miyu raised her hand and pointed to her ring finger, signaling that she told Ryuichi about their engagement and then, she pointed to Tatsuha himself. "That you are my fiancée, and about the **real** Tatsuha-kun. You know, about how much you were just using him."

 "You're a filthy bitch," he growled deeply, letting go of her wrist and pushing her slightly enough to knock her down to the ground. Grabbing into his pocket, he took out the red ribbon she had given him. "Why I even **thought** I loved you amazes me. You make me sick!" tossing down the ribbon, he spitted at it delinquently. His dark eyes glared down at the girl he once knew, a fire burning in his raven eyes. He hated Miyu more than he had ever hated her, and this time, he meant it. Turning around, he walked away from her for the last time.

 "I see how it is," Miyu cried, letting the fallen ribbon dance into her palm. A tear ran down the ribbon that had fallen from her face. The only thing she could do now was to watch Tatsuha walk away.

* * *

 "I knew that this was all just going to be trouble," Tohma sighed. Ryuichi could be heard crying from the other room and Noriko trying to console him sweetly. Taking a few steps, he looked into the room at his band mates. "Is he going to be okay?"

Noriko looked over at her blonde-haired friend, just looked down with a melancholy face, and simply shrugged. Rubbing Ryuichi's back, she felt terrible enough because of her unknowing to what she should even say to him. "It's going to be okay, Ryu-chan."

 "I'm sure that Tatsuha-san doesn't hate you," Tohma joined in, hoping that Ryuichi would believe in that.

"It's not that he hates me," Ryuichi blubbered, stammering half of the words he spoke. "It's just… he doesn't love me."

Noriko continued to rub and pat Ryuichi on the back, wishing he would at least stop his crying enough so that they could understand a sentence that he could muster up. Knowing the hardship he must be going through, she smiled. "You really love him, don't you?"

 "I love Tatsu-kun," he shouted, bawling even louder than before. Noriko realized she should not have even asked that question. "I wish he could love me, I wish he could love me," Ryuichi continued to say before stopping and continuing his endless crying.

Placing down a cup of coffee, Tohma sat down on next to Ryuichi, on the opposite side of which Noriko was sitting on. "I am sure he does, Ryu-chan. If I know Tatsuha-san, then I am sure he does."

 "He doesn't _love_ me," Ryuichi swallowed. "He just _thought_ he loved me. However, he has lived out his dream to be with him and left me alone with the affection for him."

 "Ryuichi," Tohma whispered. If there was anything he could do to make Ryuichi feel better, he would do it in an instant. The pain Ryuichi was experiencing seemed to have no cure, unfortunately. The only thing the both of them could do was just sit there and be right there for him throughout the whole thing.

 "Why did he do this to me? Why didn't he just tell me a long time ago? Why?"

 "Sometimes its best not to even know," Tohma spoke up, taking the courage to hug onto Ryuichi, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. Noriko nodded to the statement, wishing the best for the vocalist and for Tatsuha, too.

* * *

"What do you want?" Yuki held his door wide open, cigarette hanging from his lips. His hair was a complete mess and his clothes were even worse. His reading glasses could show the exact image of what he was looking at:

Tatsuha.

 "May I stay the night here?" he asked nervously, looking at his elder brother with the most helpless look plausible.

 "No."

Throwing his arms up in the air, Tatsuha began to whine. "Is this how you treat your little brother, aniki? Please just let me stay one night, please!"

 "Don't you have your wet dream's house to stay at?" he asked, flicking ashes off his cigarette. His mystical eyes were just testing Tatsuha, waiting and wanting him to say another remark to get him going into an argument.

Just letting the comment go past him, Tatsuha sighed. "I'm afraid to go there for tonight. There are some complications an-"

 "Have a fight, huh?" he asked before he could even finish. Opening the door even wider, he signaled for Tatsuha to walk on in. "I know what it is like to have a fight with a lover, so I guess you can stay. Although, I don't see why you just don't stay at dads."

It seemed as if Eiri was going to find out everything that has gone on in his life in not even three minutes. "Complications," he said shortly. A few claps from Eiri's hands brought a laugh out of Tatsuha. He knew he would be proud of it. Looking around the room, he saw no sight of Shuichi and knew that he was probably already in bed. Retreating to his brother's couch, he stuffed his face into the mattress.

 "Good night," Yuki said dryly, giving him an odd look before returning to his room and locking the door. He had never seen someone make out with his couch before.

The sound of the locking door made Tatsuha turn onto his back, safe to know that his brother was no longer looking at him. Staring off into the dark room and up at the ceiling, he knew that his whole life was in a rut. Ryuichi was probably somewhere crying because of the damn message he left on Miyu's cell phone and he was not even there for him. If only he realized he did not even love Miyu before he called. If only he made it to the both of them a lot earlier, way before she even said anything to him. He lost the one thing he ever wanted because of his foolishness. Now he was probably never going to get it back. He had screwed up his life again, but this time, he did not enjoy the outcome.

 The silence was soon broken up by Shuichi and Yuki's quiet conversation—

 "Yuki, stop it," Shuichi giggled, the covers being ruffled was heard.

Yuki's deep voice spoke up, sounding seductive. "Come on, Tatsuha can't hear us or anything."

 "Yeah, right." Tatsuha said to himself, turning to his side in order to not hear them at all. Of course, that never works because you always try to listen.

Shuichi let out a small moan, "Yuki..." he groaned a little, sounding as if he was in pure ecstasy. Then, it went quiet. "I love you, Yuki."

 "Hm," was the reply he got back.

Tatsuha felt a few tears build up in his eyes, causing his hand to go to his face like a reflex. He wanted to cry so badly, and he wished he never did listen to what they said last, because he knew very well that he and Ryuichi could have been saying the same things to each other tonight. They could have been saying that to each other everyday.

Except now, he could never hear it again.

         **END CHAPTER 13**

Ugh, this chapter is somewhat sad. Miyu was very cynical in this chapter, and believe me, there are some mean, conniving women in Japan. Believe me, I have met some. However, let's not even go there.

 The little charm thing in Kyoto is real. I put that in there because I have seen one and even put a charm on there before. Actually, I put down the name of someone I used to have a crush on. I want to burn it now so bad… but it is all the way in Japan. Le sigh. In addition, Kyoto really is pretty!

A little random, but does anyone else like Ryuichi's hair up in a ponytail? I really, really do! Look at the Gravitation Remix 6, and that is how I like his hair up. I find it SO cute!! Umm… I am acting too uke. Sorry.

 Now, reviews! (I want more. Let's make it to 100!!)

**Cherry-Wolf: **If you insist on feeding me, then yes! ::opens mouth:: Your heart stopped? Heh, my fanfic is going to cause people to call an ambulance. How nice. Miyu did not give up… she is just a lovable bitch! Yeah, I have all the manga and half of the Remixes. The remixes 1&6 OWN EVERYONE!! If you do not like them, you already have a reservation with the devil! Hahaha! Also, give lots of luck to Tatsuha and Ryuichi, they are going to need it. Anything else? Hmmm… beer!

**Ish****: **I know. Tatsuha and Ryuichi BELONG to each other. Also, Ryuichi's height…. I do not know. I do not think they can get height exactly right all the time. Nevertheless, you can tell the difference with him and Tatsuha at the zoo. Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. It's just… Ryuichi reminds me too much of Shuichi with their happy-go-lucky attitudes. Also, SHORT PEOPLE ROCK!! LICK MY SHORT, TINY BOOTS TALL PEOPLE!!

**Komioji Fin: **People love how I ended chapter 12, huh? ::laughs:: Also, yeah.. Tatsuha and Ryuichi had gotten together awhile back.. and now. Hm. ::eats the pocky::

**Ellechan****: **Hey, lazy people are good too! Thanks for your comments. Tatsuha and Miyu as kids in my mind make me giggle. Big old eyes and little fingers.. AWWW!! Tatsuha with character development? I feel so honored, truly! Many people never really thinkg that Tatsuha can be so complicated and deep, huh? RYUICHI/TATSUHA ROCK SOCKS!!!

**Bara-aoi****: **::rubs ears:: no need to yell, love. Hopefully you got to see what happened in this chapter, though! I am such a nerd, don't you agree?

**Zufu-chan: ::eats** marshmallows like wild beast:: Thanks. Tokyo Tower was good, even though I almost pissed myself when I got really high. I liked the aquarium, wax museum and all the other stuff, though! -

**Kitty in the Box: **New reviewer, I love you! ::hands you delicious candy:: Also, I agree with the seme and uke thing! You are so right, girlfriend! I am so glad that my fanfic really touches people, even to make them almost cry! I am honored! Heartbreak never ends is right… it's like a soap opera!! I love you!

**Woodsie: **It is really cute, huh? LITTLE TATSUHA!! ::squeezes him to death:: Yeah, my fanfic is really messed up. Please think of what is going to happen next again all night. I cause insomnia!!

Don't eat peanuts, but do read Gravitation Remix 2 & 6.


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